A Destructive God Sits Next to Me

High school student Koyuki Seri has a disposition for whipping out witty retorts... but hates people who wait for those retorts! Much to his dismay, he had caught the eye of Hanadori Kabuto, who suffers from a terrible case of delusions of grandeur and everything about him could warrant a retort. Seri swears that he will never utter a retort about Kabuto, but he just can't hold back. Not to mention, there seem to be even more strange people gathering around him... A high school boys' comedy that'll make you laugh and laugh (but can also be cute at times) is about to start!

Season 1

Season 1

E1 - Darlin' from hell

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Koyuki
    A rainy morning with
    umbrellas out everywhere...
[00:03] Koyuki
    It's the perfect kind of day
    to focus on studying.
[00:06] Teacher
    Hanadori?
[00:08] Teacher
    Hey, Hanadori!
[00:09] Teacher
    Is he absent today?
[00:11] Koyuki
    Lucky me!
[00:12] Koyuki
    Except...
[00:14] Hanadori
    Sorry I'm so late.
[00:18] Hanadori
    This little guy cried and
     begged to come with me.
[00:21] Hanadori
    He says we share a strong
    bond from a past life...
[00:25] Hanadori
    Whatever that means.
[00:27] Koyuki
    If only Hanadori-kun hadn't reawakened...
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Delusion 1
[02:00] Hanadori
    He was a ferocious foe, indeed,
[02:03] Hanadori
    but now I remember...
[02:05] Hanadori
    He was my constant companion
    during countless wars.
[02:08] Hanadori
    The hound of hell... Cerberus!
[02:11] Koyuki
    Here we go again...
[02:13] Koyuki
    Don't give a little puppy a name like that!
[02:16] Hanadori
    As Sturmhut, the knight who
    rules over light and darkness,
[02:20] Hanadori
    I've reincarnated across many lives.
[02:22] Hanadori
    And amidst my battles, I learned of a gate
    to the demon world that lies in this town.
[02:27] Hanadori
    Should that gate open,
[02:27] Koyuki
    This is Hanadori Kabuto,
    a student of Class 2-3 at Mitoya High.
[02:28] ---
    this world will become a living hell.
[02:30] ---
    Though I fought and failed to stop the demons...
[02:32] Koyuki
    He started acting this way in middle school
[02:35] ---
    and never grew out of it.
[02:37] Koyuki
    But... why is he all wet?
[02:41] Hanadori
    That's when the guardian hound of hell,
    Cerberus, appeared and saved me!
[02:45] Hanadori
    But why?!
[02:46] Hanadori
    I couldn't believe it, because...
[02:54] Hanadori
    Because he and I were originally enemies.
[02:58] Koyuki
    You ruined it!
[02:59] ---
    You can't fix it now, Hanadori-kun!
[03:01] Koyuki
    If you're cold, go change!
[03:01] Teacher
    Where did you get that dog, Hanadori?
[03:03] Koyuki
    And didn't you call him your companion?
    So is he a friend or an enemy?
[03:05] Hanadori
    I told you! I knew him in a past life!
[03:06] ---
    At least keep your own fantasy straight!
[03:08] Teacher
    Go put the dog back where you found it.
[03:12] Hanadori
    You want me to leave him out in the cold?
[03:14] Hanadori
    Are you evil incarnate?!
[03:16] Teacher
    Are you going to keep him, then?
[03:18] Tsukimiya
    Hanadori's apartment complex
    doesn't allow pets.
[03:22] Hanadori
    My current dwelling is blessed by the light.
[03:25] Hanadori
    Cerberus couldn't take it.
[03:27] Koyuki
    So the knight of light and darkness
    lives in an apartment.
[03:30] Koyuki
    Same as me.
[03:31] Teacher
    I'll put the dog back.
[03:34] ---
    You go get changed.
[03:35] Hanadori
    N-No!
[03:36] Koyuki
    I, Koyuki Seri, am absolutely not
    going to respond to any of this crap!
[03:40] Hanadori (Background)
    You're Koyuki? The legendary—
[03:41] Koyuki
    Or so I said, but with Hanadori-kun
    following me around all the time,
[03:43] Hanadori
    We were battle brothers—
[03:44] Hanadori
    This is the key to break the seal!
[03:44] ---
    my grades have tanked
    since we became classmates.
[03:45] ---
    Why do you have—
[03:47] Koyuki
    I just can't concentrate with him around.
[03:49] Hanadori (Foreground)
    Wait, Cerberus!
[03:52] Hanadori (Foreground)
    No...
[03:54] Koyuki
    Class is going to run late again...
[03:56] Hanadori
    Is this...
[03:58] ---
    Is this a trial the gods have put forth for me,
[04:00] ---
    Gestöber?!
[04:03] Koyuki
    You've got the wrong guy!
[04:04] Koyuki
    Who the heck is Gestöber?
[04:05] ---
    Not me! Never heard of him!
[04:07] Hanadori
    I have to go save Cerberus...
[04:09] Koyuki
    Then go by yourself!
[04:10] Koyuki
    What do you need me for?
[04:11] Koyuki
    Have fun on your grand adventure, Mr. Knight!
[04:14] Hanadori
    Have you forgotten?!
[04:15] Hanadori
    You're the emissary of Nirvana, Gest—
[04:17] Koyuki
    Nice weather we're having, huh?
[04:19] Female Student
    Yeah, except it's raining...
[04:21] Tsukimiya
    Aw, poor Hanadori.
[04:23] ---
    He went to all the trouble
    of dumping water on himself
[04:26] ---
    so he could pretend to be a hero
    who saved a dog from the rain.
[04:29] Koyuki
    What were you thinking, Hanadori-kun?!
[04:31] Tsukimiya
    But nobody cared and the dog was taken away,
[04:34] Tsukimiya
    so now he's sopping wet and all alone.
[04:36] Tsukimiya
    It's so sad.
[04:37] Koyuki
    Hey, knock it off!
[04:38] Koyuki
    You're really making me feel bad for him!
[04:40] Koyuki
    I'll be ashamed to look back on this later...
[04:43] Koyuki
    Granted, he did it to himself.
[04:48] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun, don't tell me...
[04:50] Koyuki
    Is your power awakening?!
[04:51] Hanadori
    He's... He's coming!
[04:55] Tsukimiya
    Hanadori's sorrow from losing
    Cerberus has awakened him!
[04:59] Hanadori
    It's not just damage from you outing him?
[05:01] Hanadori
    Wait, Tsukimiya-kun...
[05:03] ---
    Are you just as bad as he is?
[05:08] Hanadori
    I am Miguel.
[05:10] ---
    Miguel O...
[05:12] Hanadori
    O...
[05:12] Tsukimiya
    O?
[05:13] Teacher
    Okay, guys, knock it off.
[05:16] Teacher
    Go change clothes before
     you catch a cold, Hanadori.
[05:19] Teacher
    Sorry, everyone.
[05:20] Teacher
    Let's get back to the lesson.
[05:23] Hanadori
    That was close.
[05:25] Hanadori
    The power of light was able
    to keep Miguel... in check.
[05:28] Hanadori
    You should all be grateful you're still alive.
[05:33] Hanadori
    Blessings upon all humanity.
[05:36] Koyuki
    Whew... Made it through another day!
[05:39] Koyuki
    I didn't say a word!
[05:40] Koyuki
    Whenever Hanadori-kun's eyepatch comes off,
[05:43] ---
    a mysterious character named Miguel awakens.
[05:46] Koyuki
    Or so he says...
[05:49] Aizu
    What gives, Koyuki?
[05:51] Aizu
    Your notes are a mess.
[05:53] Aizu
    I wanted to copy them.
[05:54] Koyuki
    Shut up.
[05:55] Koyuki
    Borrow from someone in your own class.
[05:57] Aizu
    Whatever.
[05:58] Aizu
    Anyway, get this...
[06:00] Aizu
    I'm going to Black Mouse Land soon.
[06:03] Aizu
    I mean, I'm a second-year now,
    so I'm way past that silly stuff,
[06:08] ---
    but she absolutely insisted...
[06:11] Koyuki
    You're showing your true colors!
[06:14] Aizu
    What's wrong with you?
[06:15] Koyuki
    The way you're just waiting
    for me to say something!
[06:18] Koyuki
    "Who are you going with?!"
    "Did you get a girlfriend?!"
[06:21] Koyuki
    You're waiting for me to ask,
    but I won't do it!
[06:23] Koyuki
    You're just going with your grandma again
    anyway, aren't you, you granny-lover?!
[06:27] Aizu
    I-I am not! And don't call me that!
SIGN    Grrr
SIGN    Grrr
SIGN    Grrr
SIGN    Grrr
[06:30] Aizu
    What's up with you, Koyuki?
[06:31] Girl
    I'm just making things awkward, aren't I?
[06:34] Girl
    It'd be better if I wasn't there...
[06:36] Girl
    Maybe I'll just quit the club.
[06:39] Koyuki
    "That's not true! Don't quit!"
[06:40] Koyuki
    Is that what you want us to say?!
[06:42] Aizu
    Wh-Why are you hitting me?!
[06:44] Koyuki
    You're just taking advantage of the fact that
    nobody wants to say, "Yeah, quit already!"
[06:48] ---
    That's the problem!
[06:50] Koyuki
    I find it incredibly humiliating
    to be expected to say something
[06:55] ---
    just because someone wants me to!
[06:57] Aizu
    I see. Sorry, Koyuki.
[06:59] Aizu
    You've always been like that, haven't you?
[07:02] Koyuki
    And Hanadori-kun's the
    absolute worst about that.
[07:05] Koyuki
    I can normally ignore drivel like that,
[07:07] ---
    but he can't even keep
    his fake stories straight.
[07:09] ---
    I'm always on the verge of screaming.
[07:11] Koyuki
    Maybe he can tell.
[07:12] ---
    It feels like he's just dying
    for me to say something.
[07:15] Koyuki
    I refuse, though! I won't say a word.
[07:17] Koyuki
    I need to focus on my grades!
    I'm down 80 spots in the class ranking!
[07:22] Koyuki
    If I say one word about
    Hanadori-kun's idiocy, I lose.
[07:24] Koyuki
    This is war!
[07:26] Aizu
    Koyuki...
[07:27] Koyuki
    I'm off to the library.
[07:29] Aizu
    He's not trying to force me to say,
[07:32] ---
    "You can't focus on studying because
    you're obsessed with this," is he?
[07:37] Hanadori
    S-Stop it!
SIGN    Library
[07:38] Students
    Come on, Hanadori-kun.
    Show us what's under the eyepatch.
[07:42] Students
    What are you hiding?
[07:45] Hanadori
    Stop it!
[07:46] Hanadori
    If you break the seal...
[07:48] Students
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[07:50] Hanadori
    Don't touch me!
[07:51] Hanadori
    This is the key to the seal of hell...
[07:54] ---
    The seal on the dark power that controls all!
[07:57] Hanadori
    Not even I know what terrors await.
[08:00] Hanadori
    If the dark god of destruction,
[08:02] ---
    Miguel Offenbarung Dunkelheit,
    takes control of me,
[08:05] Hanadori
    he'll wreak a terrible revenge on you!
[08:08] Students
    Shut up and take it off already!
[08:09] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun!
[08:11] Koyuki
    If you talk like that,
    you'll just make things worse.
[08:16] Koyuki
    Seriously, what's this guy's deal?
[08:18] Koyuki
    Is he on Hanadori-kun's side
    or just egging him on?
[08:21] Koyuki
    Wait, why's he joining in?!
[08:23] Hanadori
    S-Stop it!
[08:23] Koyuki
    I need to stop them, but...
[08:26] Students
    Got it!
[08:31] Hanadori
    It's awakening...
[08:33] ---
    The power of hell...
[08:34] ---
    The power of darkness...
[08:36] Hanadori
    The seal!
[08:39] Hanadori
    Get away from me!
[08:43] Koyuki
    Now...
[08:44] ---
    Now you've done it, Hanadori-kun.
[08:47] Koyuki
    The power of hell turned
    out to be a physical thing!
[08:49] Koyuki
    More importantly,
[08:50] ---
    I thought you were just making
    all of this up for fun, but...
[08:53] Koyuki
    Does this mean you're actually dangerous?
[08:57] Koyuki
    Hanadori, you're bleeding!
[09:10] Koyuki
    The dark god of destruction
    is just a whiny little kid!
[09:15] Koyuki
    Don't cry!
[09:17] Hanadori
    Do you... finally remember me?
[09:20] Koyuki
    You've got the wrong guy.
SIGN    R.I.P Koyuki
[09:23] Koyuki
    I... I blew it...
SIGN    Teachers' Office
[09:26] Koyuki
    Man, this sucks.
[09:28] Koyuki
    I spoke up, so I lose.
[09:30] Koyuki
    And now...
[09:31] ---
    I have to stand in the hallway,
    because it's somehow my fault, too?
[09:35] Koyuki
    This is so wrong.
[09:37] Hanadori
    You noticed it, too?
[09:39] Hanadori
    The rift to the demon world is
    growing larger by the minute.
[09:42] Hanadori
    You and I are the only ones who've noticed it.
[09:45] Koyuki
    Not what I meant! Please leave me alone!
[09:48] Hanadori
    I believe that you're a good person.
[09:52] Hanadori
    I know I can entrust him to you.
[09:54] Hanadori
    I'd like you to take him.
[09:57] Koyuki
    The dog from this morning?
[09:59] Koyuki
    He went to find it again?
[10:00] Tsukimiya
    Hanadori's apartment complex
    doesn't allow pets.
[10:04] Hanadori
    Will you keep him safe from this cruel world?
[10:08] Koyuki
    It's not like it's the dog's fault...
[10:12] Koyuki
    I'll ask my parents,
[10:14] ---
    but don't get your hopes up.
[10:16] Koyuki
    Also, I have no interest in all that
    dark whatsit stuff you keep talking about,
[10:22] Koyuki
    so don't get the wrong idea.
[10:24] Koyuki
    I've lost today.
[10:26] Koyuki
    But...
[10:28] Koyuki
    Starting tomorrow,
    I'm really going to ignore hi—
[10:30] Hanadori
    Thanks, Tsukimiya!
[10:32] Hanadori
    You're the only one I can ask.
[10:34] Hanadori
    I feel so much better knowing
    you're taking him in.
[10:36] Tsukimiya
    Are they making you pay for the glass?
[10:39] Tsukimiya
    Oh, I didn't see you there, Seri-kun.
[10:43] Hanadori
    Tsukimiya!
[10:44] ---
    How long have you known he was here?
[10:47] Koyuki
    Oh, screw you!
[10:48] Koyuki
    You were just talking to me, weren't you?!
[10:51] Hanadori
    Nope.
[10:51] Tsukimiya
    Did you say something, Seri-kun?
[10:53] Tsukimiya
    "Don't get the wrong idea"? Was that it?
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[10:56] Koyuki
    So you did hear me!
[10:59] Tsukimiya
    That day...
[11:00] ---
    I was subject to humiliation
    worse than utter defeat.
SIGN    Things I want to forget
[11:04] Teacher
    Listen up.
SIGN    Summer
    break
SIGN    Culture
    festival
SIGN    Class
    trip
SIGN    Field
    day
[11:05] ---
    You second-years have a lot
    of fun stuff ahead of you.
[11:09] Teacher
    But final exams come first!
[11:12] Students
    This is homeroom! Let us have fun!
[11:13] Teacher
    No whining.
[11:15] Teacher
    I'm worried about all of you.
[11:17] Teacher
    You kids have the lowest grades
    out of any class in your year.
[11:20] Teacher
    Some of you are real problem kids, too,
    which is getting me in trouble.
[11:24] Students
    That's your problem, not ours!
[11:25] Hanadori
    Human society is so stupid.
[11:27] Teacher
    Don't be dumb. No man is an island.
[11:31] Teacher
    On that note, I'm dividing
    you into groups of three
SIGN    Example
    
    
    
    
    
    Bear Team
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Dog Team
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Horse Team
SIGN    pts.
[11:34] ---
    that average out the grades between you.
SIGN    Cat Team
[11:37] Teacher
    We're going to play a game in
    which your groups will compete
SIGN    Hanadori Kabuto
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN    Koyuki Seri
[11:40] ---
    to see who can do the most
    extra credit assignments!
[11:44] Students
    Sensei, I don't think this is allowed
    under current education laws!
[11:46] Teacher
    We're playing a game in homeroom.
    Relax and have fun.
[11:49] Student
    What do we get for winning?
[11:51] Teacher
    No summer homework for
    any classes you have with me!
[11:53] Student
    And what about the losers?
[11:55] Teacher
    The last-place team will be in
    charge of planning the class trip.
[11:59] Koyuki
    Question, Sensei!
[12:00] Teacher
    Wh-What is it, Koyuki?
[12:03] Teacher
    Did you forget how to ask normally?
[12:05] Koyuki
    Why would you put me in a group
[12:07] ---
    with those two bozos
    when finals are coming up?
[12:10] Teacher
    That's rather rude.
SIGN    Example
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Bear Team
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Dog Team
SIGN    pts.
[12:11] Teacher
    I put a lot of thought into the teams
    and balancing your academic skills.
[12:15] Teacher
    But you'll have to get along if you
    end up in charge of the class trip...
[12:19] Teacher
    And you don't seem to have any other friends.
[12:23] Teacher
    You don't seem to have any other friends.
[12:24] Koyuki
    I don't have many friends.
[12:26] Koyuki
    I just wanted to yell,
    "Those guys aren't my friends!"
SIGN    Library
[12:30] Koyuki
    But then I'd be admitting that
    I don't have any friends in class,
[12:33] Koyuki
    and I'd feel lonely.
[12:35] Koyuki
    It's infuriating,
[12:36] ---
    but right now, I miss that
    jerk in the next class over.
[12:39] Tsukimiya
    Okay, let's get to work!
[12:42] Koyuki
    My ears! My ears!
[12:45] Koyuki
    He looks so happy screwing with me.
[12:47] Koyuki
    Tsukimiya Utsugi...
[12:49] Koyuki
    The test is during our next homeroom.
[12:53] Koyuki
    I sure as hell don't want to plan
    the class trip with those two.
[12:56] Koyuki
    I need to get us a good score...
[12:58] Hanadori
    A test, huh?
[13:00] Librarian
    Hey, get down!
[13:02] Hanadori
    Compared to the tests of hell
    Sturmhut has faced...
[13:06] Koyuki
    The hell's he doing?
[13:07] Hanadori
    Gestöber,
[13:08] ---
    there is nothing we cannot
    overcome togethe—
[13:12] Koyuki
    You're not in preschool!
[13:15] Girls
    They're so loud...
[13:18] Girls
    Just ignore them.
[13:19] Girls
    If they get last place,
     it means less work for us.
[13:20] Koyuki
    Damn it.
[13:22] Koyuki
    I want to ignore them,
[13:23] ---
    but I need them to get serious about studying.
[13:25] Hanadori
    Owie...
[13:26] Koyuki
    This leaves me no choice.
SIGN    Gasp...
[13:31] Koyuki
    Don't be creepy!
SIGN    Math
[13:33] Koyuki
    Okay, let's start with math.
[13:36] Koyuki
    I'm bad at the stuff that's on this test.
[13:38] Tsukimiya
    Hanadori, can you figure out this problem?
[13:41] Tsukimiya
    You use theta here, and then...
[13:43] Tsukimiya
    You do this...
[13:45] Hanadori
    Ah, I see.
SIGN    Math
    
    
    
    
     Question 1
[13:47] Koyuki
    What are you doing?
[13:48] Koyuki
    Stop playing with the variables!
    This is math!
[13:51] Koyuki
    And why are you nodding?!
[13:53] Koyuki
    Take this seriously!
[13:56] Koyuki
    Sheesh...
[13:56] ---
    You guys have no idea how I feel.
[13:59] Koyuki
    Actually, I wonder what their grades are like...
[14:02] Hanadori
    Okay, I'm all done.
[14:04] Hanadori
    The man who's traveled the seven seas,
[14:06] ---
    the valiant warrior himself...
[14:08] Hanadori
    The one they call a legend...
SIGN    The Adventures of Menukoroirya, Ruler of the Darkness
[14:10] Hanadori
    The hero Menukoroirya.
[14:16] Koyuki
    Don't get attached and give it a name!
[14:18] ---
    Study!
[14:20] Koyuki
    That's what kids do when they'd
    rather goof off than study!
[14:23] Koyuki
    You don't have time for adventures!
[14:24] Koyuki
    Battle the enemy you're
    facing right now, damn it!
[14:28] Koyuki
    I'm already exhausted.
[14:30] Koyuki
    Let's move on to history.
SIGN    History A
[14:34] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun is actually focusing now.
[14:36] ---
    Good.
[14:37] Hanadori
    Tsukimiya,
[14:38] ---
    do you know a good way to
    remember major historical figures?
[14:41] Hanadori
    It's hard when they all have such stupid names.
[14:43] Koyuki
    You've got no room to talk.
[14:46] Tsukimiya
    Why not do what you're best at?
[14:49] Hanadori
    What I'm best at?
[14:50] Tsukimiya
    Sure.
[14:51] ---
    For example, say they were once your friends.
[14:54] Tsukimiya
    This man, the founder of the Edo shogunate,
[14:57] Tsukimiya
    could have been one of
    Sturmhut's comrades in a past life!
[15:00] Tsukimiya
    Make up something like that
    so it means something to you.
[15:03] Koyuki
    Huh... That might actually be a good idea.
[15:06] Koyuki
    It could work for him.
[15:08] Hanadori
    That's right...
[15:09] Hanadori
    My past memories are returning!
[15:11] Hanadori
    I crossed swords with him on the battlefield.
[15:14] Hanadori
    He's...
SIGN    Answer: Menukoroirya Hankallamaliru Maihaixlyulia
[15:16] Koyuki
    No, he's not!
SIGN    Menukoroirya Hankallamaliru Maihaixlyulia
[15:18] Koyuki
    That's the stupid little bird
    you just came up with!
[15:21] Koyuki
    And jeez, how many letters are in that name?
[15:23] Koyuki
    It's way too long.
[15:24] Hanadori
    So it was you...
[15:26] Hanadori
    I'll never forget you again!
[15:28] Koyuki
    Forget him right now!
SIGN    Exhaustion
SIGN    Home Economics
[15:31] Koyuki
    Home ec, huh?
[15:33] Koyuki
    We're supposed to learn the nine
    essential amino acids.
[15:36] Koyuki
    I wonder if Tsukimiya-kun's good at studying.
[15:39] Koyuki
    I hate to ask, but if he knows
    a good way to memorize things...
[15:42] Koyuki
    Here you go.
SIGN    Home Ec Notes
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Utsugi Tsukimiya
[15:43] Koyuki
    This is my memorization notebook. Use it.
[15:46] ---
    Th-Thanks.
[15:47] Tsukimiya
    He knew what I was thinking, huh?
[15:49] Tsukimiya
    Well, okay, since he—
[15:50] ---
    Excuse me?
[15:52] Tsukimiya
    This isn't about essential amino acids...
[15:55] Tsukimiya
    Am I supposed to learn them through manga?
[15:57] Tsukimiya
    Wait, did Tsukimiya-kun draw this?!
[15:59] Girl
    For Amino-san's sake,
[16:01] ---
    I would let the world be destroyed!
[16:03] Bad Guy
    Is Amino-san that essential?
[16:06] Girl
    M-My body can't create Amino-san on its own!
[16:11] ---
    So...
[16:12] Girl
    I'm going to absorb him!
[16:14] Bad Guy
    No! Never!
[16:14] Girl
    Eek!
[16:16] Girl
    No!
[16:17] ---
    If you do that... If you do that, then...
[16:20] Girl
    My phenylalanine will valine,
[16:23] Girl
    and I'll tryptophan!
[16:29] Koyuki
    Damn it all!
[16:31] Koyuki
    You two are so stupid!
[16:32] Koyuki
    Forget this!
[16:33] ---
    I'll do it on my own!
[16:35] Tsukimiya
    I've got one for the periodic table, too.
[16:37] Tsukimiya
    Want to see?
[16:38] Koyuki
    No!
[16:39] Tsukimiya
    Transform! Helium! Lithium! Barium!
[16:41] Koyuki
    Calm down. Calm down, Koyuki Seri.
[16:44] Koyuki
    These two are just that type.
[16:45] Koyuki
    They goof around to get their minds
    off of the test and end up crashing.
[16:49] Koyuki
    I'm different.
[16:50] Koyuki
    I want to concentrate on studying.
[16:52] Koyuki
    If I don't work hard and raise
    our average score...
SIGN    Special Moves
SIGN    Menukoroirya
SIGN    Leaving on a journey
SIGN    Slice
SIGN    Slash
SIGN    Chicken Blade
SIGN    Thigh Slice
[16:56] Koyuki
    Yes, yes. Very cute.
[16:58] Koyuki
    I'm giving up on him.
[17:00] Koyuki
    What about Tsukimiya-kun?
[17:02] Tsukimiya
    Man, I'm bored.
[17:03] Koyuki
    Then study!
[17:04] Tsukimiya
    I mean, I've already learned
    everything that'll be on the test.
[17:09] Koyuki
    In what fantasy world can you do that?!
SIGN    Home Economics
[17:11] Koyuki
    He can't be serious!
[17:12] Koyuki
    There's so much material!
[17:13] Koyuki
    He couldn't have—
[17:14] Tsukimiya
    Listen, Seri-kun.
[17:16] Tsukimiya
    If I read a book once, that's enough
    for me to say I've learned it.
[17:19] Tsukimiya
    Don't you think you're wasting your life
[17:21] ---
    poring over books instead of spending
    your time on the hobbies you love?
SIGN    Snap
[17:27] Koyuki
    And whose fault is it that I'm wasting my life?!
[17:29] Tsukimiya
    So you see...
[17:31] Tsukimiya
    I can't get my score any higher,
[17:33] Tsukimiya
    so it's up to the two of you
    below me to raise our average.
[17:36] Tsukimiya
    Okay?
[17:40] Tsukimiya
    Seri-kun blew up!
[17:42] Hanadori
    Gestöber, what was that technique?!
[17:44] Koyuki
    Today, something within me burst.
[17:47] Koyuki
    Forget it! Time for some escapism of my own!
[17:49] Koyuki
    I reject you both!
[17:52] Koyuki
    Commoner's Village is so fun...
[17:54] Koyuki**
    You make your own town
[17:56] ---
    and spend your days taking it easy,
    fishing and picking fruit with your friends.
[18:02] Koyuki
    This is my idea of paradise.
[18:04] Koyuki
    My character in the game is the real me,
[18:07] Koyuki
    and the suffering I'm experiencing
    right now is just a bad dream.
SIGN    Message sent!
SIGN    You've invited a friend to Koyuki Village.
[18:13] Tsukimiya
    Hey, Seri-kun!
[18:15] Koyuki
    I knew he'd show up!
[18:17] Koyuki
    Go study!
[18:18] Tsukimiya
    I love this game so much that
    I've learned how to mod it.
SIGN    A friend has come to play.
[18:23] Tsukimiya
    Oh, looks like someone's here.
SIGN    I'll dig holes to the demon world here, too
SIGN    My sealed
SIGN    power...
[18:32] Koyuki
    Don't tell me!
[18:34] Hanadori
    I am the dark god of destruction,
[18:36] Koyuki
    You're the only one who would
    destroy my peaceful in-game life.
[18:36] ---
    Miguel Offenbarung Dunkelheit.
[18:40] ---
    I will cover this village in dark matter!
[18:41] Koyuki
    Catch a clue!
[18:42] Tsukimiya
    Hanadori, Seri-kun wants you to catch a clue.
[18:50] Koyuki
    That's not what I meant!
[18:52] Koyuki
    Get out of my village, both of you!
[18:54] Koyuki
    Stop digging holes everywhere!
[18:55] Hanadori
    Don't push me!
[18:56] Koyuki
    It's weird, though...
[18:58] ---
    I thought so before,
[19:00] ---
    but it feels like Tsukimiya-kun...
[19:02] Tsukimiya
    Yup.
[19:03] ---
    I can guess what you're thinking.
[19:05] Koyuki
    It feels like you're doing
    a lot more than guessing!
[19:08] Koyuki
    No, that can't be!
[19:10] Koyuki
    That would mean he knows
    exactly what bothers me...
[19:13] Koyuki
    And he's doing it anyway!
[19:15] Koyuki
    Crap...
[19:17] Koyuki
    I've gotta hide somewhere
    he can't connect to me!
[19:20] Koyuki
    What? I can't move...
[19:23] Hanadori
    Surprised?
[19:24] Hanadori
    Behold the dark god's destructive magic...
[19:27] Hanadori
    Paralysis!
[19:28] Koyuki
    It's just a snare!
[19:29] Koyuki
    Ow, ow, ow! Let me go!
[19:30] Koyuki
    Stop working together!
[19:32] Koyuki
    Damn it...
[19:33] Tsukimiya
    Seri-kun, sometimes I...
[19:35] Tsukimiya
    just don't bother worrying
    about what you're thinking!
[19:38] Koyuki
    You're a real asshole, aren't you?
[19:39] Hanadori
    I'll hide somewhere in your village.
[19:42] Hanadori
    Come find me after I count to ten!
[19:44] Hanadori
    One, two, three...
[19:50] Hanadori
    G-Gestöber?
[19:52] Koyuki
    I'll destroy his data!
[19:54] Hanadori
    No, Gestöber!
[19:56] Hanadori
    Please, no!
[19:58] Hanadori
    I worked so hard to get this far!
SIGN    Bye!
SIGN    Come by again
     on our next break!
[20:07] (Flashback) Hanadori
    Tsukimiya...
[20:11] (Flashback) Hanadori
    I want to play a game with Gestöber!
SIGN    Earn the Muney Money
    
    Handheld: 20,000 yen
    "Commoner's Village" game: 5,000 yen
    
    
    Roughly 25,000 yen
SIGN    Supermarket
    Smile Store
[20:26] Hanadori
    Yes!
SIGN    Pay for the month of June
[20:28] ---
    Now I can...
[20:29] ---
    Now I can play a game with Gestöber!
[20:33] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun...
[20:34] ---
    You wanted to play with me that badly?
[20:37] Hanadori
    G-Gestöber!
[20:38] ---
    N-No, it wasn't anything special...
[20:40] Koyuki
    I'm sorry for everything, Hanadori-kun...
[20:42] Koyuki
    No, Sturmhut!
[20:45] Koyuki
    I'll never let you be alone again.
[20:47] Koyuki
    As Gestöber, the Hierophant of Ice,
[20:51] ---
    I swear to fight by your side!
[20:53] Koyuki
    Thank you, Gestöber!
[20:56] Game
    Congratulations! Congratulations!
[20:58] Game
    Congratulations!
[20:59] Tsukimiya
    That was a great conclusion.
[21:01] Koyuki
    Why would you make a
    disgusting movie like that?!
[21:04] Tsukimiya
    I'm the one who made it.
[21:05] Koyuki
    What was with that flashback?
[21:07] Koyuki
    Why did it feel like scenes from Slam Dunk?!
[21:09] Koyuki
    The dark god of destruction shouldn't
    be working part-time jobs!
[21:14] Teacher
    I'll be taking those.
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[21:19] Teacher
    Okay, I'm returning your tests.
SIGN    Seri Koyuki
[21:22] Koyuki
    All right! I got a higher score than usual!
[21:25] Koyuki
    As long as those two didn't screw it up,
    we shouldn't be in last place.
[21:28] Tsukimiya
    I got the same score I always do.
[21:30] Hanadori
    Mine's...
[21:31] ---
    lower than usual.
[21:33] Hanadori
    The dark spirits distracted me...
[21:35] Hanadori
    I'm sorry. I only got an 85!
[21:38] Teacher
    Oh, Koyuki.
[21:40] ---
    Lucky you. You don't have
    to plan the class trip.
[21:43] Teacher
    Frankly, Tsukimiya and Hanadori
    always get top marks,
[21:46] Teacher
    so I was hoping they could
    give you a bit of a boost.
[21:49] Teacher
    Guess my plan was a success, huh?
[21:50] Koyuki
    I got... the lowest score?
[21:54] Teacher
    Koyuki?
[21:56] Koyuki
    Impossible!
SIGN    Rip
[21:57] Hanadori
    This is my fault!
[21:59] Hanadori
    You worked so hard, but I...
[22:02] Koyuki
    Don't try to make me feel better!
[22:06] Tsukimiya
    Seri-kun,
[22:07] ---
    scary things can happen when
    you underestimate people.
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[22:11] Koyuki
    Today, Koyuki Seri suffered
    an unthinkable defeat.
[23:25] Hanadori
    Next time on A Destructive
    God Sits Next to Me
, episode 2:
[23:27] Hanadori
    "Eyes On Me!"
[23:29] Koyuki
    Hey, we get fifteen seconds for a preview!
[23:31] Koyuki
    Plug the show!
[23:32] Hanadori
    Wh-What?
[23:35] Hanadori
    Miguel, the dark god of destruction,
     has taken over this anime!
[23:38] Koyuki
    Couldn't think of anything to say, huh?

Season 1

E2 - Eyes On Me

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] K
    The antics of my classmate Hanadori
    Kabuto-kun are endlessly annoying.
[00:05] K
    But I, Koyuki Seri,
[00:06] ---
    have challenged myself to never call
    him out, no matter what he does.
[00:11] K
    He claims he's the knight of
    light and darkness, Sturmhut,
[00:14] K
    who reincarnated into this world
    and battles evil in secret,
[00:17] K
    and when his right eye awakens,
[00:18] K
    he loses control and becomes the dark
    god of destruction, Miguel Whatever.
[00:22] K
    He just lives out this bizarre
    adventure in his own head.
[00:27] K
    I was completely humiliated last time,
[00:29] K
    and it's all Hanadori-kun's fault.
[00:33] K
    Somebody, please do something about him...
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Counseling Room
SIGN    Delusion 2
[02:14] T
    Koyuki...
[02:15] ---
    I'm hungry. Mind if I eat?
[02:18] K
    Are you that uninterested in hearing
     what your students have to say?
[02:22] T
    Hey, don't doubt your teachers.
[02:25] K
    Stop chewing already!
[02:28] T
    Say, Koyuki...
[02:31] T
    Got any of that stuff? You know...
[02:33] T
    The stuff you season rice with.
[02:35] K
    Rice seasoning!
[02:36] K
    You said it yourself!
    Are you doing this on purpose?!
[02:39] T
    Well? You got any?
[02:40] K
    Of course I don't have any!
[02:42] K
    Have you ever had a student here first thing
     in the morning with rice seasoning?!
[02:46] T
    Man, you're sure quick to react.
[02:49] K
    Because you're not listening!
[02:51] T
    Now, if only you'd be more
    like that with Hanadori...
[02:56] T
    If you don't get something,
    say, "I don't get it!"
[02:59] T
    If he's being weird, say,
    "What's wrong with you?"
[03:02] T
    That's what we call communication.
[03:04] K
    I don't want to get involved with him.
[03:08] K
    But he just won't leave me alone.
[03:11] K
    Also, I don't yell like that.
[03:14] T
    Koyuki...
[03:15] ---
    Have you heard the saying
    "birds of a feather"?
[03:17] K
    I'll destroy you.
[03:18] T
    "Birds of a feather flock together."
[03:20] ---
    It means similar people stick together.
[03:22] K
    I know what it means!
[03:24] ---
    But I'm nothing like Hanadori-kun!
[03:27] K
    Why do I have to explain that?!
[03:29] T
    Hanadori's been like that ever
    since the first day of school.
[03:33] T
    For his class introduction, he said,
[03:35] T
    "So this is to be my next trial? Not bad."
[03:39] T
    Or something.
[03:41] K
    Why didn't you give him detention?
[03:43] T
    Kids your age all need something
     to protect yourselves.
[03:47] T
    You want to avoid Hanadori because
     you're trying to protect something, right?
[03:55] K
    Protect something? No.
[03:59] (Flashback) H
    Forgive my rudeness earlier, Gestöber.
[04:01] (Flashback) H
    I can't believe you made it past
     my psychic eye, the Hunter Sensor,
[04:04] (Flashback) ---
    and got behind me.
[04:07] (Flashback) H
    Your powers are impressive.
[04:10] (Flashback) H
    The Hierophant of Ice's ability, Stealthy Ninja
    Blizzardwalk, is truly a sight to behold.
[04:16] K
    My skill's name is so stupid!
    Why am I a ninja now?
[04:20] (Flashback) H
    But it's all clear to me now.
[04:22] (Flashback) ---
    You have the power to save the world.
[04:25] (Flashback) H
    Gestöber,
[04:27] (Flashback) ---
    make a pact with me and
    become the light of knights!
[04:30] K
    Stop ripping off that phrase!
    I know I've heard it before!
[04:33] K
    And if you must use it, don't mess with it!
[04:35] K
    What does a Hierophant
    of Ice even do, anyway?
[04:38] K
    If this were an RPG, I definitely
    wouldn't be the main character, right?
[04:42] (Flashback) H
    You could be my right-hand man.
[04:44] (Flashback) H
    Don't miss this opportunity.
[04:46] K
    I don't know what it is you're selling,
[04:48] K
    but if I buy it, I'll spend the
    rest of my life paying for it.
[04:52] K
    I'm not getting anywhere, am I?
[04:54] K
    I'll just have to be harsh and push him away.
[04:59] (Flashback) K
    You're bothering me.
[05:01] (Flashback) K
    Never talk to me again.
[05:05] K
    If I can make it clear I don't like him,
    he should get the hint.
[05:11] K
    I don't want to be a jerk, but—
[05:13] (Flashback) ---
    Swoon!
SIGN    Tremble
SIGN    Tremble
SIGN    Tremble
[05:14] K
    Don't swoon at that!
[05:16] (Flashback) T
    Wow, Gestöber.
[05:18] (Flashback) T
    I knew you had the potential
    to change the world.
[05:20] K
    It's no use. He's not listening.
[05:23] (Flashback) T
    That piercing gaze that
     betrays your inner animal...
[05:26] (Flashback) T
    I can see why they call you "Pointy Icicle."
[05:29] K
    Another stupid name!
[05:30] K
    Put some thought into these!
[05:32] K
    That's how Hanadori-kun is,
    and I still have no idea what he's after.
[05:37] K
    He probably just wants to feel special.
[05:43] K
    And I just don't want to get involved with him.
[05:45] ---
    That's all.
[05:47] M
    But why?
[05:49] ---
    Why don't you want to get
    involved with Hanadori-kun?
[05:52] M
    It's kind of fun!
[05:53] K
    That scared me! When did he get here?
[05:56] K
    And how can he read my mind?
[05:58] K
    I don't know if Tsukimiya-kun
    is Hanadori-kun's friend or what,
[06:02] K
    but I should keep my distance from him, too!
[06:05] M
    So why? Why?
[06:07] M
    Because you'll stand out?
    Because you want to focus on school?
[06:10] K
    Th-Those are good reasons, aren't they?
[06:13] M
    I see...
[06:14] M
    Then how did it feel when
    you realized that the guy
[06:18] ---
    you were trying to avoid
    hadn't even noticed you?
[06:22] M
    Well? Well? How did that feel?
[06:24] K
    Is he the devil?
[06:26] K
    Stop it! Don't bring that up!
[06:26] M
    Huh? Huh? Huh? How'd it feel?
[06:28] K
    Hanadori-kun wasn't trying
    to be mean, but you were!
[06:32] M
    You were standing right there in front of him,
[06:35] M
    and he just completely ignored you!
[06:37] K
    I'm experiencing incredible mental distress!
[06:40] M
    So, so? How'd it feel?
[06:42] H
    Hey, Gestöber.
[06:44] H
    Let's go save the world from a rift.
[06:48] K
    Say what?
[06:53] ---
    I see. So in this world, you call it
    the disciplinary committee?
SIGN    Mitoya High School
[06:57] H
    We have a duty to wipe out
     evil wherever we find it...
[07:01] H
    Plus that.
[07:02] M
    He just called you "that," Cerberus!
[07:04] K
    Why am I here?
SIGN    Disciplinary Committee
[07:07] H
    The disciplinary committee...
[07:09] H
    A lapse in the dress code
    is a lapse in discipline,
[07:12] H
    as well as a lapse in morality.
[07:13] H
    As the knight of light and darkness,
    correcting that is my sworn duty.
[07:18] H
    So be it.
[07:20] K
    Hanadori-kun, you break
    all kinds of school rules.
[07:24] K
    You just wanted to wear the arm band?!
[07:32] K
    Okay, okay... Looking good.
[07:35] K
    I want to get back to class already and study.
[07:40] K
    Problem detected!
[07:42] K
    That's not even close to our uniform,
    not to mention her boots and bag...
[07:46] K
    I guess we have to say something to her.
[07:48] K
    You do it, Hanadori-kun.
[07:53] K
    The heck? What happened to saving the world?
SIGN    Fidget
SIGN    Fidget
SIGN    Fidget
SIGN    Fidget
SIGN    S c r a t c h S c r a t c h
[08:11] H
    Oh, right!
[08:12] ---
    I've gotta go buy food for Cerberus!
[08:14] K
    Hey, wait, shy boy!
[08:16] K
    What? The knight of light and darkness
    can't even talk to a girl?
[08:19] K
    And he's running away?
[08:20] ---
    Just how scared is he?
[08:25] H
    No, Cerberus!
[08:27] H
    If you run out into the street and get hit—
[08:29] K
    The knight got hit!
[08:32] K
    Wh-What even happened?
SIGN    Ha
    ha
    ha
    ha
    ha
[08:34] K
    Are you okay, Hanadori-kun?
[08:37] G
    Who's this?
[08:39] G
    Oh, you're that second-year, Hanadori Kabuto.
[08:41] G
    Was slamming into me
    your way of saying hello?
[08:45] H
    N-No, um...
[08:46] M
    That's Gorio the Gorilla,
[08:49] M
    the legendary leader who
    brought back the school gang!
[08:53] K
    What?
[08:54] ---
    Is everybody in this school like him?
[08:57] G
    Is that how the disciplinary
    committee greets people now?
SIGN    Disciplinary Committee
[09:00] K
    He hid it!
[09:01] G
    Hey, Hanadori...
    Why'd you cover up your arm?
[09:05] G
    Move your hand.
[09:08] H
    Just an old wound acting up. That's all.
[09:12] G
    I've heard about you.
[09:13] ---
    They say if your eyepatch comes off,
    something interesting happens, right?
[09:18] K
    N-No!
[09:18] K
    So he's gotten a reputation...
[09:18] ---
    Stop! Stop it! Don't! You can't! Stop!
[09:20] K
    But really, something annoying
    will happen, so just leave it.
[09:23] G
    Let's see it!
[09:33] G
    Are you trying to piss me off?!
[09:33] K
    You think you can just hide it with your hand?
[09:35] H
    S-Stop!
[09:36] K
    Can Miguel Whatever, the dark god
    of destruction, be stopped so easily?
[09:40] K
    This is ridiculous.
[09:41] H
    Unhand me!
[09:42] ---
    Hanadori-kun can't even keep
    his own character straight.
[09:45] K
    And if he can't...
[09:46] K
    Don't think you'll get away
    with your evil deeds!
[09:49] K
    He should just act normal.
[09:49] G
    Hey, let me go! I mean it!
[09:51] ---
    Then nobody will bug him.
[09:52] ---
    Just apologize and—
[09:54] G
    Don't mess with me, Hanadori...
[09:55] G
    Or I'll send this mutt flying!
[09:58] H
    Cerberus!
[09:59] H
    D-Don't do it!
[10:01] ---
    Don't hurt Cerberus!
[10:02] H
    He's too important to me!
[10:05] H
    Just don't hurt him!
[10:06] ---
    Please, spare him!
[10:08] H
    Take it out on me instead! Me!
[10:11] H
    I'll pay you.
[10:14] K
    Don't try to solve this with money!
[10:22] K
    I thought you were going
    to let him punch you!
[10:24] K
    Where the hell is Miguel?!
[10:26] ---
    That money is for Cerberus's food!
[10:31] H
    Thanks for waking me up.
[10:33] H
    You truly are as keen and hard as ice,
[10:37] H
    but your passion burns like frostbite.
[10:39] H
    You are my truest friend, Gestöber!
[10:42] K
    Oh, crap... I blurted that out loud.
SIGN    Counseling Room
[10:46] T
    Why did you hit Hanadori?
[10:49] K
    I was just so mad...
[10:52] K
    I've gone and done it again.
[10:54] K
    I swore I wouldn't react to him,
    but I slipped up.
[10:58] K
    In front of everyone, no less...
[11:00] T
    Koyuki...
[11:01] ---
    We often hate people who are too much like us.
[11:03] K
    Please stop.
[11:04] T
    You see, sometimes we hate people...
[11:06] K
    Because if opposites attract,
     then like poles repel?
[11:10] K
    Please stop. It's not like that.
[11:12] K
    I just want to live a normal life,
    but he won't let me—
[11:15] M
    Seri-kun likes to think of himself as special,
[11:19] ---
    which is why he says he wants to "be normal."
[11:21] M
    That's what makes him like Hanadori, I bet.
[11:25] K
    How humiliating...
[11:27] M
    That's what makes you like Hanadori.
[11:29] K
    Don't say it twice!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[11:31] K
    I, Koyuki Seri, haven't just lost to myself
    over not reacting to Hanadori-kun.
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[11:35] K
    Now I've lost to Tsukimiya-kun, too.
[11:39] A
    Koyuki!
[11:41] A
    Got any plans for summer vacation?
[11:43] K
    Do you?
[11:44] A
    Me? I'm booked.
[11:47] A
    Every girl wants to go see fireworks
    and hit up the beach for a date, you know?
[11:51] A
    I'm gonna be so busy! Super busy!
[11:54] A
    But I know you'll be lonely all by yourself...
SIGN    Heart-Pounding Memorial
[11:57] A
    So here!
[11:58] A
    You should get a girlfriend, too!
[12:01] A
    Just kidding!
[12:03] K
    Haha!
[12:04] ---
    Have fun trying to get with a 2D girl!
[12:11] A
    Koyuki's learned to deliver
    his insults with a smile...
[12:14] A
    I thought he'd just hit me
    like he usually does.
[12:17] A
    Did something happen?
[12:18] T
    You were hoping he'd hit you?
[12:22] K
    So much has happened that
    I felt like a dead man, but...
[12:25] (Flashback) Kotoko
    Um, Koyuki-kun, you're
    so much more cheerful lately.
[12:30] (Flashback) Kotoko
    You were hard to approach before
    since you always seemed angry...
[12:33] (Flashback) Kotoko
    But I've always wanted to try talking to you!
[12:37] K
    The girl I like, Sumiso Kotoko, said that to me!
[12:41] K
    I can't believe it!
[12:45] K
    Plus, it's almost summer break!
[12:47] K
    Just thinking about how I won't
    have to see either of them
[12:50] K
    has made my whole world brighter!
[12:52] Kotoko
    Koyuki-kun!
[12:55] ---
    Can I have your phone number?
[12:57] ---
    Sure!
[12:58] K
    Here you go.
[12:59] Kotoko
    I'll send you my number
    and my email later, okay?
[13:02] K
    Sure! Thanks.
[13:04] Kotoko
    I hope we can do something
     over summer break!
[13:07] A
    Koyuki's playing a real-life dating sim.
[13:10] A
    When did he set that flag?
[13:12] T
    By the way, I'm confiscating that.
[13:16] A
    But I wanted to play games
    with Koyuki over summer break!
[13:19] T
    Fine. You can keep it.
[13:21] Kotoko
    See you around.
[13:23] K
    Y-Yeah!
[13:27] Kotoko
    You're the best, Koyuki-kun!
[13:27] K
    Maybe before long, I'll be taller,
    stronger, and popular with girls.
SIGN    1,000 yen
SIGN    1,000 yen
[13:30] Yae
    Yeah!
[13:31] Yae
    Koyuki-kun, you have such amazing muscles.
[13:32] K
    I might even win the lottery
    with a ticket I never bought.
[13:34] Yae
    Yeah!
SIGN    (The Plan)
[13:35] Kotoko
    I'm so in love!
[13:35] K
    Ditching Hanadori-kun and Tsukimiya-kun
    makes my life so much better, it's scary!
[13:37] ---
    You're so ripped!
SIGN    True Success
[13:40] K
    True... success!
[13:43] K
    Summer!
[13:45] ---
    The beach!
[13:46] ---
    Fireworks!
[13:47] ---
    They're so pretty.
[13:48] ---
    Yup.
[13:49] K
    My high school life is just beginning!
[14:08] K
    No messages yet...
[14:10] K
    Well, it's still the first day of summer break.
[14:13] K
    I'm getting too anxious.
[14:16] K
    Maybe I'll do my homework.
SIGN    Aitsu
SIGN    Koyuki, you dummy!
    Poophead! Poopybutt!
SIGN    July
    31st
SIGN    August
    1st
SIGN    August
    2nd
SIGN    August
    3rd
[14:35] K
    Still nothing...
[14:38] ---
    I guess I'll just have to wait.
SIGN    Live every detail of your life!
    Commoner's Village
[14:44] K
    Huh? Did I have this item?
SIGN    Mating Adventure
    
    
     Super Exciting
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     Married Wives 24 Hours
[14:50] K
    I started playing a game inside the game!
[14:53] K
    And it's not one that belongs
    in my peaceful village!
SIGN    Which married woman will you choose?
[14:56] K
    There are three types of wives, even!
[15:00] A
    You should get a girlfriend, too!
[15:03] K
    I want a girlfriend in real life, damn it!
[15:07] K
    I should've gotten Sumiso-san's
    number when I had the chance.
[15:13] K
    But the truth is...
[15:14] ---
    I don't really know much about her.
[15:18] K
    Maybe I just thought I liked
    her because she's cute.
[15:23] K
    Was she just playing me?
[15:26] K
    A number I don't know!
[15:27] K
    Y-Yes? Hello?
[15:29] M
    Did you think it was your girlfriend?
[15:32] M
    Sorry, it's Tsukimiya-kun!
[15:36] K
    Your timing is the worst!
[15:37] K
    The only thing I had to look
    forward to was her calling,
[15:40] ---
    and it turned out to be you!
[15:41] M
    You know, the more you want someone to call,
[15:44] ---
    the less likely it is to happen.
[15:46] K
    Don't converse with me when I'm not talking!
[15:49] M
    You're so mean.
[15:50] M
    I called because I figured the game
    I made for you wasn't enough.
[15:54] K
    So that game was your doing?
[15:56] M
    It's great, isn't it?
SIGN    Kitchen
SIGN    Food Bath Clothes
SIGN    Wife A "Oh, it's almost time for my husband to come home."
[15:58] M
    It's a steal-your-girl mating game where
[16:00] ---
    you have lots of fun with married women
    while their husbands are away!
[16:03] K
    That's disgusting!
[16:04] M
    By the way, Seri-kun,
[16:06] ---
    I'm heading over to Hanadori-kun's place.
[16:08] M
    You wanna come?
SIGN    End call
[16:09] K
    Hell no!
[16:11] K
    Don't disturb my peace
    even during summer break!
[16:15] K
    Should I turn off my phone?
[16:16] K
    But then if Sumiso-san calls, I'll miss it...
[16:22] M
    Seri-kun, it's me!
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN    Me and
SIGN    my dog
    and cat
[16:23] ---
    You should spend some time
    with your friends, too!
[16:27] K
    He even has my email address?
[16:29] K
    Neither you nor Hanadori-kun
    are my friends, you hear?
[16:32] M
    Just so you know, I got
    your number from this guy.
[16:36] K
    I'll get him...
[16:37] ---
    I'll get him for this!
SIGN    Sumiso
SIGN    Koyuki-kun...
[16:41] M
    S-Sumiso-san? Did we swap IDs?
SIGN    Sumiso
SIGN    Koyuki-kun...
[16:45] M
    Sorry, it's Tsukimiya-kun!
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN    Sorry, it's Tsukimiya-kun!
SIGN    Gotcha!
SIGN    Did I getcha?
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Did I getcha?!
SIGN    Sorry!
    I meant to do it
SIGN    LOL
[16:50] K
    I'm blocking this asshole!
[16:53] M
    There, there, Seri-kun.
[16:54] ---
    We're headed to the new shopping mall.
[16:57] ---
    Come if you want.
[16:58] ---
    We can go to a café and talk
    about your troubled love life.
[17:02] K
    I don't want any romantic advice from
    a guy who's into other men's wives!
[17:08] K
    I think I just wasted a bunch of energy.
[17:10] K
    I need to cool down.
[17:17] Caster
    As you can see,
[17:18] Caster
    lots of people come to this mall every day.
[17:23] K
    Huh?
[17:24] ---
    That's the new mall, right?
[17:26] Caster
    Here you can see the family amusement
    park on the roof, which is a big hit!
[17:31] K
    Hanadori-kun?!
[17:31] Caster
    Oh... Isn't he a bit old for that?
[17:32] K
    Wait, that's where they went?
[17:34] Caster
    It's dangerous to stand on that...
[17:36] H
    Television, huh?
[17:37] H
    Perfect.
[17:38] ---
    Carry my warning over
    the electromagnetic waves.
[17:40] Caster
    Did you bring your little brother here today?
[17:43] H
    I'm out for a walk and doing
    recon on the enemy base.
[17:46] H
    Listen up, sheeple.
[17:47] ---
    In the basement of this building,
[17:49] ---
    the secret organization Bloodness Darkness is—
[17:51] Caster
    As you can see, it seems he's
    come up with his own game to play!
[17:55] Caster
    Back to you in the studio.
[17:56] K
    His own game to play?
[17:57] K
    She shut him down hard.
[17:59] K
    I see...
[18:00] ---
    That's one way to deal with it.
SIGN    What happened to
    Hanadori after that
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[18:06] Kids
    Get off, jerk!
[18:08] ---
    M-Miguel...
[18:09] Kids
    Huh? What're you saying?
SIGN    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[18:11] ---
    This guy plays too many video games.
[18:12] K
    Tsukimiya-kun, you're killing me...
[18:14] K
    It went down the wrong pipe!
[18:18] K
    Ugh, that sucked.
SIGN    Delete Video Would you like to delete this video?
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[18:21] M
    Seri-kun!
[18:23] ---
    I bet that soda going down
    the wrong pipe hurt!
[18:25] M
    You surprised?
[18:26] M
    I know exactly what you're up to.
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[18:29] M
    I put that soda emoji in my message
    earlier to subtly manipulate you.
[18:34] M
    Did it work?
[18:35] H
    Well done, my advisor.
[18:37] M
    Now, will you come to Maruyama Café?
[18:39] K
    Scary! Man, he's scary!
[18:41] M
    Hello? Hey, Seri-kun!
[18:41] K
    I'm seriously scared of Tsukimiya-kun!
[18:44] K
    Just how much did he predict?
[18:44] K
    Seri-kun!
[18:46] K
    I'll buy you a soda.
[18:46] K
    They've also left the shopping mall.
[18:48] K
    Maruyama Café is...
[18:51] K
    They're getting closer to my apartment?!
[18:51] Both
    Gestöber! Gestöber!
[18:53] K
    No way, no how!
[18:54] Both
    Gestöber! Gestöber!
[18:55] K
    No matter how they threaten me, I'm not going!
[18:58] K
    I know! I'll do my homework!
[19:00] K
    Then I can go out with Sumiso-san
    if she asks me at the end of the month.
[19:03] K
    I'll increase my stats even on my days off!
[19:06] K
    That's how you win a dating sim!
SIGN    It's me, Tsukimiya-kun.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     I'm at Miyao Park now.
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[19:13] K
    Crap! They really are getting closer!
[19:13] Both
    Gestöber! Gestöber!
SIGN    Sweat
[19:16] K
    What should I do? Run?
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Sweat
[19:18] K
    No... They might be waiting
    for me at my front door.
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Sweat
SIGN    Come on out. You want some too, right?
[19:25] K
    The old man across the street?!
[19:27] K
    I don't want any.
[19:28] ---
    I'm not falling for it.
SIGN    Hanadori got run over LOL
[19:31] K
    Hey, that's not funny!
SIGN    Hanadori got run over LOL
[19:35] K
    That's right in front of my house!
[19:37] K
    They're really coming here!
[19:43] Mom
    Coming!
[19:43] K
    Oh, no!
[19:44] ---
    They're breaking through the front?
[19:46] K
    Don't open the door, Mom!
[19:47] K
    Don't tell me she's going to let them in!
[19:48] ---
    Seri, it's—
[19:49] K
    Leave!
[19:50] ---
    Don't try to stalk me to get my address!
[19:52] K
    Cut it out already with...
[20:00] Kotoko
    U-Um... I'm sorry.
[20:04] Kotoko
    There's a fireworks show today,
[20:07] ---
    and... I wanted to go with you...
[20:09] Kotoko
    I thought you'd be surprised
    if I showed up in my yukata...
[20:13] Kotoko
    But I'm just being a bother, aren't I?
[20:15] Yae
    I'm sorry!
[20:16] Yae
    Kotoko!
[20:16] Mom
    Seri, how could you?
[20:21] Yae
    You're scum.
[20:35] M
    Hey, Seri-kun? What's up? It's pretty late.
[20:37] M
    Oh, us? We're heading home.
[20:40] M
    We had fun, didn't we, Hanadori?
[20:43] M
    Oh, your house?
[20:44] ---
    Oh, yeah. I knew it was around there.
[20:48] M
    Why wasn't it you guys at my door?!
SIGN    Ha ha ha ha ha
[20:52] H
    Gestöber?
[20:53] H
    Aww. If you'd said something,
    I would've come over.
[20:55] H
    But I didn't want to impose...
[20:58] K
    Liar! You don't know anything
     about common courtesy!
[21:00] K
    Just come over!
[21:04] K
    Today I yelled at the wrong person
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[21:06] K
    and totally ruined everything forever.
[21:09] K
    I want to die...
[22:42] K
    Mom!
[22:43] ---
    Don't let Tsukimiya-kun anywhere near here!
[22:45] K
    He's weird!
[22:46] Mom
    Come, now, Seri-kun. That's no way
    to talk about your new father.
[22:52] K
    Nice to meet you, son!
[22:55] K
    This is your new stepbrother, Miguel.
[22:57] K
    He's a dark god of destruction.
[22:59] K
    I hope you two can be friends.
[23:01] H
    The power of darkness...
[23:02] K
    Like hell that's happening!
[23:04] K
    Dad would never allow this!
[23:07] Dad
    I'm always at Kabuto-kun's side.
SIGN    Dad
[23:10] Dad
    That's right. Always.
SIGN    Dad
[23:17] K
    What kind of dream was that?!
SIGN    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[23:20] T
    Seri-kun, that's not nice!
[23:24] T
    
    Menukoroirya's Adventures
    TV Animation Project
    by Hanadori
[23:25] H
    There's something I want to do!
[23:27] K
    What is it?
[23:28] H
    Make an anime for my OC.
[23:30] K
    Is this the little chick from episode 1?
[23:32] K
    What's it called?
[23:33] H
    Menukoroirya Hankallamaliru Maihaixlyulia...
[23:36] ---
    Huh? Gestöber?
[23:38] H
    Where'd you go?

Season 1

E3 - death wish

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] T
    Oh, by the way, Koyuki...
SIGN    Field Day
[00:02] T
    Did you turn in your
    post-graduation plans survey?
[00:05] K
    Not yet.
[00:07] T
    As a first-year, you said you
    wanted to go to college, right?
[00:10] T
    You not sure what to do now?
[00:12] K
    No, I still want to go to college... It's just...
[00:15] K
    Well, my parents want me to go to the best
    school so I can work for the best company.
[00:19] K
    You know, the usual stuff.
[00:21] T
    Your parents?
[00:22] ---
    What about you?
    Nothing you want to do?
[00:25] K
    What I want?
[00:26] K
    I want to live in peace, away from any
    dark gods and privacy-violating mind readers.
[00:31] K
    It's not funny!
[00:33] K
    What does a dark god of destruction even do?
[00:36] K
    If you, his teacher, can't set him straight,
     at least explain that to me!
[00:40] T
    Whenever Hanadori says
    that name, disaster will—
[00:42] K
    It's already a freaking disaster!
[00:45] T
    There, there.
[00:47] T
    It's just what Hanadori wants to do.
[00:49] T
    What about you?
[00:50] ---
    If you're still thinking about it,
    that means there must be something, right?
[00:54] T
    There... might be something... sorta, kinda...
[00:59] K
    But it seems like it would be pretty tough...
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Delusion 3
[02:39] Girls
    Hanadori-kun, the paint...
[02:41] Girls
    You okay?
[02:43] Girls
    Oh, no! Our poster!
[02:45] H
    Damnation!
[02:46] ---
    Dark forces are working against me!
[02:48] H
    They're trying to break my seal!
[02:50] H
    What terrible strength!
[02:52] U
    Just apologize, Hanadori.
[02:55] H
    So it's time to release the
    power of my left hand, is it?
[02:58] H
    Very well...
[02:59] U
    You're shaking, Hanadori.
[03:02] U
    Was that glove expensive?
[03:03] U
    Better go wash it off.
[03:05] Student
    Sensei, we don't have enough paint.
[03:07] T
    I guess we'll have to send
    someone to buy more.
[03:10] Student
    But we don't have the budget left.
[03:12] T
    What? Seriously?
[03:13] Student
    Please buy it for us, Sensei.
[03:16] T
    What?
[03:17] T
    Sheesh... Just this once, all right?
[03:17] K
    Yeah, it seems pretty rough.
[03:22] K
    I have enough to worry about
    in my own life right now.
[03:26] K
    I don't have time to worry about the future.
[03:29] K
    You can't wash out paint with soap!
[03:34] K
    Oh, man... This is infuriating.
[03:37] ---
    I'm not getting involv—
[03:38] S
    Senpai?
[03:39] ---
    You're Miguel-senpai,
    the dark god of destruction, right?
[03:43] S
    I'm a first-year. No...
[03:45] ---
    You might recognize me as your rival
    from the deadly battles of yore.
[03:50] S
    I am Helius.
[03:51] S
    In this world, I go by Kimiya Hibiki.
[03:54] S
    A pleasure to meet you.
[03:59] H
    Hey! Just who are you?!
    How do you know about Mig—
[04:01] S
    Wait, Senpai!
[04:03] ---
    Listen to me!
[04:12] S
    Have I committed another sin?
[04:15] U
    Hey, what are you guys doing?
[04:17] U
    Playing dead?
[04:20] K
    Huh? Where am I?
[04:23] K
    What happened to me?
[04:26] K
    What's going on?
[04:27] ---
    The back of my head really hurts!
[04:29] K
    I can't remember...
[04:31] S
    I'm honored to meet you again
    in this life, Miguel-senpai.
[04:36] K
    That's right.
[04:37] ---
    I ran into yet another weirdo, and...
[04:40] S
    Do you remember me?
[04:41] S
    I'm No. 02 of the four dark
    gods of destruction, Helius!
[04:46] S
    I knew it was you at first glance.
[04:48] ---
    You have the aura of a man
     bearing a great destiny!
[04:51] S
    You're Miguel-senpai,
[04:52] ---
    the man I haven't forgotten for a
    single day over these long millennia!
[04:56] K
    Liar!
[04:56] ---
    You thought I was Miguel.
[04:58] K
    I remember because it
    was just that insulting!
[05:01] K
    What's this guy's deal?
[05:03] K
    The four dark gods of destruction?
[05:05] K
    He's not one of Hanadori-kun's LARPer buddies?
[05:07] U
    Oh, you're up, Seri-kun?
[05:10] S
    Oh, Gestöber-senpai!
[05:11] S
    I apologize for earlier.
[05:13] K
    Gestöber-senpai?!
[05:14] K
    Stop it! I'm not one of you!
[05:16] S
    This brings back so many memories, doesn't it?
[05:19] K
    Not for me.
[05:21] S
    Miguel-senpai always had charisma,
[05:21] K
    Who is this guy?
[05:22] K
    And what's he dressed as? A cockroach?
[05:24] ---
    but his dark aura is even stronger now.
[05:24] K
    He's got some weird replica
    weapon, too! What's his deal?
[05:27] K
    Are you guys in the same weird club?
[05:28] K
    The "dark gods of destruction" group?
[05:30] U
    Seri-kun, I'll introduce you.
[05:32] U
    Helius, a.k.a. Hibiki-kun,
[05:33] ---
    is a former comrade of Hanadori's
    who heard the rumors about him.
[05:37] U
    He lost his power when he
    was reincarnated this time,
[05:39] U
    so now he wants to serve Miguel again
[05:41] U
    and lead this world to an even better end!
[05:44] K
    He's a global menace, then!
[05:47] S
    Miguel-senpai, the enemy is
    getting stronger by the day.
[05:52] S
    It's time for dark god of destruction
    No. 01 to use his power!
[05:56] K
    Wait, this is the first time Hanadori-kun's
    had someone he can really talk to.
[06:00] K
    It's a miracle, Hanadori-kun!
[06:01] K
    He can be your friend!
[06:03] K
    I'll be cheering you on!
[06:04] K
    I'm not sure what that specifically entails,
[06:06] ---
    but I'm cheering for you!
[06:08] K
    So please leave me alone!
[06:10] S
    Please, Miguel-senpai.
[06:12] U
    I'm begging you, too!
[06:14] H
    I'm sorry.
[06:15] K
    He refused!
[06:16] K
    Why?!
[06:17] ---
    What's wrong with you, Hanadori-kun?!
[06:18] K
    You may never get another chance like this!
[06:21] H
    Gestöber, this weirdo won't leave me alone.
[06:25] K
    You mean like the way
    you won't leave me alone?
[06:28] K
    Why are you so shy all of a sudden?
[06:29] K
    He's a dark god of destruction! Your favorite!
[06:32] K
    Now go and say hello!
[06:34] S
    No...
[06:35] ---
    Miguel-senpai...
[06:38] S
    Gestöber-senpai,
SIGN    Rumble
SIGN    Rumble
SIGN    Rumble
SIGN    Rumble
[06:40] ---
    why are you getting in our way?
[06:41] S
    Are you my enemy?
[06:43] K
    This is beyond a false accusation!
[06:45] K
    You're mistaken.
[06:47] ---
    I'm just a random villager!
[06:49] S
    Why?
[06:50] ---
    Why does everyone get in my way?
[06:53] S
    Why doesn't anyone understand me?!
[06:56] K
    He's scary!
[06:58] Yae
    Sensei?
[07:02] Yae
    Sorry to bother you.
[07:05] U
    What are you doing?
[07:08] S
    Nothing, really...
[07:09] ---
    Just meditating, Tsukimiya-senpai.
[07:13] U
    Oh, it's the school secretary!
[07:18] U
    So many people came
    into the room, Hibiki-kun!
[07:21] K
    Give him a break.
[07:22] T
    Huh?
[07:23] ---
    Where did the trio go?
[07:25] Students
    No idea. They disappeared.
[07:27] Students
    But this'll go faster now, so we're better off.
[07:30] S
    I'm like a crow or a black cat...
[07:33] S
    An ill omen for those around me.
[07:35] U
    Are we talking about Kimiya Hibiki-kun here?
[07:38] U
    Not Helius?
[07:39] S
    Yes...
[07:41] K
    I want to go home.
[07:42] K
    But my head hurts and I don't want to move.
SIGN    Ache
SIGN    Ache
SIGN    Ache
[07:44] S
    I bring disaster to those
    around me for some reason.
[07:48] S
    I get pooped and peed on by animals
    as much as the average toilet,
[07:52] S
    and sudden rain clouds follow me around,
[07:55] S
    and I live on the only block
    that Santa doesn't visit!
[07:57] (Flashback) Mom
    Santa doesn't stop here.
[07:59] K
    I guess that's his family's policy?
[08:01] S
    I'm not a kid detective, yet I'm always
    running into terrible crimes.
[08:05] S
    So they call me the grim reaper,
[08:07] ---
    and everyone avoids me.
[08:09] K
    Yeah, I want to avoid you, too.
[08:11] ---
    Sorry.
[08:12] S
    I'm worried about the upcoming field day, too.
[08:15] S
    Any team I'm on always loses.
[08:18] ---
    I'm scared of what people will think.
[08:19] S
    I don't want to get on someone's bad side
[08:21] S
    and end up surrounded by
    men in black suits again...
[08:24] K
    What happened to you?
[08:25] S
    Why am I the only one this happens to?
[08:28] S
    No... No!
[08:30] S
    I'm just different from the rest!
[08:31] ---
    I've got a special talent! That's all!
[08:33] K
    You got over that fast, huh?
[08:36] S
    It was bad enough before,
[08:38] ---
    but once I assumed this identity,
    I was treated even more like a weirdo.
[08:41] K
    No kidding.
[08:42] S
    Then I heard that the dark god of destruction,
    Miguel, was in the grade above me,
[08:47] S
    and I decided I wanted to be like him.
[08:49] S
    What would it be like, I asked myself,
    if I could live without fear
[08:52] ---
    of what others thought?
[08:54] K
    Are you making fun of him?
[08:56] S
    So...
[08:58] S
    M-Miguel-senpa—
[09:00] H
    Does what you want
[09:01] ---
    mean so little that you're willing to
    give it up because you're worried
[09:05] ---
    about what other people
    will think or say about you?
[09:08] H
    If it is, then it's better that you quit.
[09:11] H
    But if you're willing to suffer
[09:12] ---
    and be laughed at for it, tell me now!
[09:15] H
    What is it you want?
[09:22] H
    You're Grim Reaper Helius, aren't you?
[09:24] K
    You're calling him that, too?!
[09:30] U
    If there's something you want
    to do, you should do it.
[09:33] U
    It's important to think that
    there's a talent only you have.
[09:37] K
    What "talent" does a grim reaper have?
[09:39] U
    People might make fun of you for
    caring so much about what you do,
[09:43] U
    but they're just people who don't
    do anything themselves.
[09:47] U
    You shouldn't let it bother you.
[09:49] S
    Tsukimiya-senpai...
[09:52] U
    Yup... so just... believe...
    in your special talent...
[09:59] K
    Tsukimiya-kun's making fun of
    him more than anyone else!
[10:02] S
    Miguel-senpai, Tsukimiya-senpai,
[10:04] ---
    I'm going to live as Helius the rest of my life!
[10:06] K
    Huh?
[10:07] ---
    This seems like a happy ending,
[10:08] K
    but they're talking about a fictional
    character he made up, right?
[10:12] H
    I'm finally seeing what's going on here.
[10:14] H
    The grim reaper was pretending to
    be a dark god of destruction, huh?
[10:17] H
    The only dark god of destruction anyone
    needs is the one sealed by Sturmhut, Miguel!
[10:23] H
    There sure as heck aren't four of us!
[10:25] S
    Yes, you're very cool!
[10:27] H
    Thanks.
[10:28] K
    Oh, I get it.
[10:30] K
    Hanadori-kun just didn't like this stuff about
    four gods that wasn't part of his own fantasy.
SIGN    Nurse's Office
[10:36] K
    I don't give a crap!
[10:39] K
    But, weirdly,
[10:41] ---
    it felt a little like Hanadori-kun
    was lecturing me.
SIGN    Future Plans Survey
SIGN    Year: 2 Class: 3 Name: Koyuki Seri
SIGN    First Choice Second Choice Third Choice
[10:44] K
    It was really frustrating.
[10:48] K
    What about me?
[10:50] ---
    Does it mean so little to me?
[10:52] Student
    That's one done!
[10:56] K
    Hanadori-kun.
[10:58] ---
    Here.
[10:59] K
    Paint remover.
[11:00] ---
    I got it from the janitor's office.
[11:02] K
    It might bleach your glove a bit, though.
[11:06] H
    G-Gestöber!
[11:08] K
    If you're gonna cause trouble
    for everyone by goofing off,
[11:10] ---
    you should at least apologize!
[11:12] K
    Apologize first!
[11:13] ---
    Say, "I'm sorry for spilling paint!"
[11:16] K
    I'll apologize for slacking off
    instead of working, too.
[11:19] S
    Oh, are your decorations done, Senpai?
[11:22] S
    My class is coming along just—
[11:26] ---
    Wait...
[11:27] K
    You can't be serious!
[11:30] K
    Nice catch!
[11:33] K
    That's fresh paint, fool!
[11:38] K
    I'll never forget
[11:39] ---
    how my classmates looked like they
    were looking at a pile of garbage...
[11:42] K
    or that the grim reaper and god of
    destruction are just walking jinxes!
[11:50] K
    I'm never getting involved with them again!
[11:52] S
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[11:56] T
    Hey, do I need to go buy more paint?
[12:00] U
    Must be tough being a teacher.
[12:02] T
    Sure is.
[12:06] T
    But, well...
SIGN    Future Plans Survey
SIGN    Year: 2 Class: 3 Name: Koyuki Seri
SIGN    First Choice Where's the best place to go to be a teacher?
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     Second Choice X University
     Y University
[12:08] ---
    It's not all bad.
SIGN    Go, Red Team!
[12:13] T
    Tomorrow is finally field day!
[12:16] T
    Red team, let's win this!
[12:18] ---
    Yay.
[12:19] H
    The time has come, Gestöber!
[12:20] Teacher
    What's wrong, guys?
[12:21] ---
    You don't sound excited. Say, "Yeah!"
[12:22] K
    I don't care about beating
    the blue or white teams...
[12:24] Students
    No, we're just not as excited as you.
[12:26] ---
    I want to defeat this guy:
    Hanadori Kabuto!
[12:27] Teacher
    What?
[12:31] K
    I've racked up nothing but
    losses across the board.
[12:40] K
    I swore I'd never call out his antics,
[12:43] K
    but I still end up doing it every single time.
[12:55] K
    It's humiliating!
[12:56] T
    What's wrong, Koyuki? Did you
    eat something weird for lunch?
[12:59] K
    I won't react to anything
    Hanadori-kun does anymore!
[13:03] K
    I won't say a damn word!
[13:07] K
    Then, on field day...
[13:16] H
    Go! Go!
[13:20] ---
    Scharlachrot Ritterorden!
[13:22] H
    Go, go! Scharlachrot Ritterorden!
[13:25] H
    Go, go! Scharlachrot Ritterorden!
[13:26] K
    That's so hard to say.
[13:27] K
    Just say "red team"!
[13:28] S
    Wow, the red team is doing great.
[13:32] S
    Thanks to you, Miguel-senpai,
[13:34] ---
    the red team can still win
    even with me on it.
[13:36] U
    We're not winning, though.
[13:38] H
    Of course.
[13:39] ---
    I'm personally providing encouragement.
[13:41] U
    We're not winning, though!
[13:42] K
    Tsukimiya-kun...
[13:44] K
    I'm so happy.
[13:45] K
    Working together with everyone
[13:47] ---
    has taught me how much fun field day can be!
[13:50] K
    Go for it, red team! Go for it!
[13:58] K
    You should've expected that.
[14:01] S
    Everyone treats me like an outcast.
[14:04] S
    If this is the destiny the
    grim reaper is born to bear,
[14:07] S
    I shall accept it.
[14:09] S
    It really hurts, though, Miguel-senpai!
[14:12] S
    Why do I have to be normal for
    people to want to hang out with me?
[14:15] H
    Helius!
[14:16] K
    Because they get hurt otherwise—
    in more ways than one.
[14:19] Gorio
    Hey, Hanadori.
[14:21] Gorio
    That's my jacket.
[14:23] ---
    Why are you wearing it?
[14:26] H
    Gori-Gorio!
[14:27] Gorio
    Who are you calling Gori-Gorio?!
[14:30] H
    That explains why this jacket is gorilla-sized.
[14:33] ---
    Take it off, punk!
[14:34] Gorio
    Let go, Iron Primate!
[14:35] Gorio
    Take it off! Take it off!
[14:36] Gorio
    You don't have the right to wear this jacket,
[14:39] ---
    the Robe of the Hell-Class Criminal!
[14:40] K
    You need the right to wear that?
[14:44] K
    He took my clothes!
[14:46] S
    Miguel-senpai...
[14:47] K
    So they're the same even on field day?
[14:49] K
    I'm amazed they never get bored.
[14:51] U
    Neither do you.
[14:52] U
    You keep whining, but you just
    can't leave them alone.
[14:55] U
    It's a talent, in a way.
[14:57] K
    It's nothing compared to your
    talent for reading minds.
[15:03] U
    Could you tell I was making fun of you?
[15:05] K
    I'll kill you.
[15:06] U
    Now, calm down.
[15:07] ---
    I have good news for the boy who
    can't stop thinking about Hanadori.
SIGN    Mitoya High
    53rd Annual Field Day
    Program
[15:10] K
    Don't say it like that.
[15:12] U
    Today, you get to see Hanadori-kun,
    the boy who can't talk to girls,
[15:15] U
    and Hibiki-kun, the boy who
    shows off but is scared of people,
SIGN    Shiver
SIGN    Shiver
SIGN    Shiver
[15:18] U
    folk dance with girls!
[15:20] K
    You're really nasty.
[15:22] U
    Will Hanadori be okay?
[15:23] U
    Can he hold her hand?
[15:25] U
    Oh, I know you're not much better, Seri-kun.
[15:29] K
    I swear I'll kill you.
[15:32] S
    I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,
    I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...
[15:35] H
    It's fine, Helius.
[15:36] ---
    Just act like you normally do!
[15:39] S
    Okay. I'm fine. I'm fine.
[15:41] K
    He doesn't look fine...
[15:42] S
    May I please have this dance?
[15:44] Girl
    Sure, let's dance!
[15:45] Girl
    Are you a first-year?
[15:46] S
    Y-Yes...
[15:47] Girl
    You're cute!
[15:48] Girl
    I'm two years older than you,
    so I'll show you how it's done, okay?
[15:52] S
    Act like I normally do...
[15:54] S
    Be careful, miss.
[15:57] S
    I'm Helius the grim reaper.
    I bring bad luck—
[16:04] Students
    What?
[16:05] ---
    What did he say he was?
[16:06] Students
    He caught bird poop...
[16:08] ---
    Maybe he's the grim poop-catcher?
[16:14] S
    I knew I couldn't do it!
[16:15] K
    Hibiki-kun, stop waving that scythe around.
[16:18] K
    Your luck is as bad as you said,
[16:21] K
    but it feels less like you run into trouble
    and more like you cause it.
[16:25] K
    Wait, someone else is holding things up...
[16:27] ---
    And of course it's you!
[16:30] Girl
    Um, can you hurry it up?
[16:33] H
    How dare you speak that way
    to Miguel, the dark god?
[16:37] Girl
    What did you say?
[16:38] Girl
    You were mumbling too much for me to hear.
[16:38] K
    What are you doing, Hanadori-kun?
[16:41] K
    Now's the time to pretend to be Miguel.
[16:45] K
    Wait, why do I have to worry about him?
[16:48] K
    He's not my friend.
[16:51] K
    And some humiliation might cool his jets.
[16:53] H
    You there, girl!
[16:55] H
    Don't underestimate Miguel,
    the dark god of destruction!
SIGN    Shloop
[17:05] H
    S-Sweat?
[17:07] H
    Was all that slick stuff sweat?
[17:10] Girl
    Crap.
[17:11] ---
    I got dark god of destruction juice on me.
[17:14] Girl
    My hand will be darkly destroyed!
[17:20] K
    H-Hanadori-kun!
[17:21] K
    I-I-It's okay, Hanadori-kun!
[17:23] K
    You were just too nervous!
[17:25] K
    I'm sure everyone will understand someday...
[17:27] ---
    Tsukimiya, you ass!
[17:30] K
    I'm sorry, Hanadori-kun.
[17:31] K
    I said you could use some humiliation,
    but that was too much.
[17:34] S
    Miguel-senpai.
[17:36] H
    Oh, Helius.
[17:38] H
    Are you okay?
[17:39] S
    Y-Yes.
[17:41] ---
    But when I held out my hand,
    bird poop fell on it...
[17:45] H
    Helius!
[17:47] S
    But...
[17:47] S
    The girl I was paired up with wiped
    my hand off with her handkerchief!
[17:49] S
    Are you okay? Here, give me your hand.
[17:51] S
    You can stay true to yourself and some
    people will still accept you after all.
[17:55] S
    You were right, Miguel-senpai!
[17:59] K
    Hibiki-kun, you just pushed
    a man on the edge of a cliff...
[18:02] U
    Don't sweat it, Hanadori.
[18:03] U
    Just because someone you
    thought was below you on
[18:06] ---
    the totem pole surpassed
    you to find happiness
[18:08] U
    is no reason to get all depressed!
[18:10] K
    How deep are you gonna dig into him?!
[18:12] ---
    You'll put a hole in him!
[18:13] K
    Oh, no.
[18:14] ---
    I can see the light in his eyes fading.
[18:17] K
    He'll probably be afraid of women
    for the rest of his life...
[18:20] K
    I can see it...
[18:21] ---
    I can see him at a psychiatrist
    a decade or two from now.
[18:25] H
    Someone out there will accept me! I know it!
[18:29] K
    If that happened, I'd cry, too.
[18:34] U
    Could it be?!
[18:36] U
    Hanadori-kun's awkwardness around
    women has turned into raw fear
[18:40] ---
    and combined with his rejection into
    a powerful mix of love and hatred!
[18:44] K
    Brutal...
[18:46] U
    Hanadori!
[18:46] S
    Miguel-senpai!
[18:47] U
    Let's go after him!
SIGN    Glee
SIGN    Glee
SIGN    Glee
SIGN    Glee
[18:49] U
    Something terrible will happen
    if Miguel goes out of control!
[18:51] S
    Right!
[18:52] K
    Don't get so excited!
[18:53] K
    Just let him go!
[18:54] K
    He's just going to cry in the bathroom.
[18:56] Announcer
    It's time for a final performance
    from each team.
[19:00] Announcer
    Here's Gori-Gorio-kun,
    the leader of the red team!
[19:02] Gorio
    Who are you calling Gori-Gorio?!
[19:04] Gorio
    Don't laugh.
[19:07] U
    Wait, Miguel!
[19:08] ---
    No, Sturmhut!
[19:10] U
    You've always tried to suppress Miguel!
[19:13] U
    But the stronger your desire to suppress him,
     the stronger his resistance!
[19:17] U
    Right?!
[19:18] S
    Miguel-senpai!
[19:22] U
    Unleash Miguel's emotion!
[19:27] U
    A cry from your soul!
[19:30] H
    I am Miguel, the dark god of destruction!
[19:34] H
    I shall share this hellish pain
     with all of humanity!
[19:45] K
    Don't cheer.
[19:50] Girl
    What was that about?
[19:54] H
    Your murderous desires are still too strong...
[19:59] H
    The dark god of destruction is
    starting to take over this school.
[20:03] H
    There's no time for excitement!
[20:05] H
    Gestöber, come back to us!
[20:08] H
    A new battle is about to begin!
[20:11] H
    Steel yourself!
[20:12] U
    Yay! You watching, Seri-kun?
[20:14] S
    Gestöber-senpai, get well soon!
[20:17] S
    And here's your lunch for today!
SIGN    FRIENDS
[20:20] S
    I had your mom make it for you.
[20:24] H
    Friends forever!
[20:26] U
    Isn't that nice, Hanadori?
[20:27] T
    I did the camerawork!
[20:29] T
    Can you see me?
[20:31] U
    And that's how field day went.
[20:34] U
    Was it fun to watch?
[20:40] K
    Why am I yelling at a screen when
    I was lucky enough to get sick today?!
[20:45] K
    What kind of ending was that?!
[20:46] ---
    I feel stupid for worrying—
[20:49] H
    Gestöber, I didn't know you cared so much...
[20:51] U
    Okay, old man. Back to bed with you.
[20:54] K
    I wanted to stay in bed,
    and you guys barged in here!
[20:59] K
    Even when home sick, I, Koyuki Seri,
[20:59] Tsukimiya
    But you said we could come before.
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:02] ---
    What's wrong, Gestöber-senpai?
[21:02] ---
    can't win the battle to keep from yelling.
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:03] Tsukimiya
    You did eat dinner last night,
    didn't you, old man?
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:05] K
    I'll get you when I'm feeling bett—
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[22:41] K
    Tsukimiya-kun always talks
    about married women,
[22:44] K
    but I wonder if he really
    does anything with them.
[22:47] K
    He's crazy. What if they were
    married to some really scary guy?
[22:52] U
    Come now, Seri-kun! Do you
    really think of me that way?
[22:55] U
    It's just a thing boys my age do. You know...
[22:58] ---
    "I don't care about girls my age.
[22:59] ---
    A hot guy like me needs
    older, married women!"
[23:02] ---
    It's just one of those things
    guys say to sound cool.
[23:06] K
    So he's admitting it?
[23:08] U
    You follow?
[23:11] K
    Don't take my food.
SIGN    Seri's Mom
[23:13] Mom
    I was really proud of the lunch I made today.
[23:16] ---
    Did Seri like it?
[23:19] U
    I got a message from your mom!
    She's so cute! I'm out!
[23:22] K
    Hold it right there, damn it!
[23:25] H
    Help me, Gestöber!
[23:27] K
    Wh-What's wrong?
[23:28] H
    The character designer and
    chief animation director are gone!
[23:31] K
    We're still running with that?
[23:33] H
    I'll just have to summon
    the servants of darkness!
[23:35] K
    Oh, fine! I'll help you, okay?

Season 1

E4 - Travel Rock

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Koyuki
    Do you remember that summer day?
[00:06] Koyuki
    I was pushed to the brink by the phantoms
    of Hanadori-kun and Tsukimiya-kun,
[00:09] Koyuki
    and suddenly a girl from school showed up
    in a yukata to invite me to go see fireworks.
[00:14] Koyuki
    The day I ruined the best thing
    that's ever happened to me.
SIGN    Class Trip Outline
SIGN    Let's have fun!
[00:19] Koyuki
    I still haven't had the chance
    or the courage to apologize...
[00:22] Koyuki
    But now, during the biggest
    event of the school year,
[00:24] ---
    I'm ready to go for it!
[00:27] U
    Hey, Hanadori!
[00:28] U
    They say nobody really knows
    exactly how it is that planes can fly.
[00:33] Hanadori
    What...?
[00:35] Hanadori
    An evil power approaches!
[00:38] Hanadori
    Let me go!
[00:39] ---
    Let me go right now!
[00:40] Koyuki
    Battle your own sense of self-control, Miguel.
[00:44] U
    We haven't even taken off yet!
[00:46] Hanadori
    G-Gestöber!
[00:48] Hanadori
    Can I hold your hand?
    The darkness is going to devour me!
[00:51] Koyuki
    Hell no, you creepy weirdo!
[00:58] Hanadori
    It's so fast!
[01:00] Hanadori
    No!
[01:02] Koyuki
    Shut up already!
[01:03] Stewardess
    Are you okay, young man?
[01:05] U
    He's fine.
[01:07] ---
    He's just got dark god of destruction sickness.
[01:10] U
    Also, here's my phone number.
[01:12] Koyuki
    Our three-day, two-night class trip...
[01:15] Hanadori
    Gestöber, look!
[01:17] ---
    An amusement park!
[01:19] Hanadori
    The masses are so easily amused, aren't they?
[01:22] Koyuki
    What are you so excited about?
[01:25] Koyuki
    First, I need to lose these two.
[01:27] ---
    I don't want to be interrupted.
[01:29] Koyuki
    I'm putting my plan into action today!
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Delusion 4
[03:04] Koyuki
    I'll go over the plan one more time.
[03:07] Koyuki
    First:
[03:07] Kotoko
    Where should we start?
[03:08] ---
    My target is Sumiso Kotoko-san from Class 4.
[03:09] Yae
    Wherever you want.
[03:11] Koyuki
    She's always hanging out
    with her friend Yae-san.
[03:12] ---
    Any ideas?
[03:14] Koyuki
    I have to keep her in my sights to make
    sure I get a chance to talk to her.
[03:18] Yae
    What are you staring at?
[03:20] Koyuki
    I-I'm sorry.
[03:22] Yae
    Let's go, Kotoko.
[03:24] Kotoko
    O-Okay...
[03:25] Koyuki
    Second...
[03:26] ---
    They're avoiding me.
[03:28] ---
    Especially Yae-san.
[03:30] Koyuki
    Third:
[03:31] ---
    Everyone's on cloud nine because
    we're at the amusement park.
[03:35] Koyuki
    It's the perfect opportunity for me
    to explain myself and apologize.
[03:38] Koyuki
    And if it works out,
    we can eat churros together!
[03:42] Kotoko
    I was just thinking I should talk to you today.
[03:47] U
    That's simultaneously optimistic,
    shallow, and calculating, Seri-kun!
[03:50] Koyuki
    Dreams belong to those who dream them.
[03:52] ---
    Smooth.
[03:53] Koyuki
    Leave me alone.
[03:54] Koyuki
    Fourth:
[03:55] ---
    I need to ditch Hanadori and Tsukimiya,
[03:58] ---
    and catch Sumiso-san without
    Yae-san so I can talk to her.
[03:59] ---
    I'm gonna hit up the restroom.
[04:01] Kotoko
    Okay, I'll be waiting.
[04:02] Tsukimiya
    So you're going to stalk her.
[04:04] Koyuki
    No, not stalk.
[04:06] Tsukimiya
    But why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?
[04:09] Koyuki
    Well...
[04:10] Tsukimiya
    I bet you heard someone saying
    she was cute before the class trip
[04:10] (Flashback) Boy
    Sumiso-san's so cute.
[04:12] (Flashback) ---
    Maybe I'll ask her out.
[04:15] ---
    and panicked, didn't you?
[04:17] Koyuki
    If you know the answer, then don't ask!
[04:21] Koyuki
    How were you able to hear my entire plan?!
[04:24] Tsukimiya
    What? You're so slow, Seri-kun.
[04:27] ---
    Turns out you're a little dense, too, huh?
[04:29] Koyuki
    I'm just so used to you
    being able to read my mind.
[04:34] Tsukimiya
    Besides, Seri-kun...
[04:36] ---
    After everything you've seen,
     if you really think you could get rid of me,
[04:40] Tsukimiya
    you really are dense.
[04:42] Koyuki
    Please don't call me dense.
[04:45] Tsukimiya
    What happened that day
     was partially our fault,
[04:48] ---
    and I do feel bad.
[04:50] Tsukimiya
    So don't take this all on yourself.
[04:54] Tsukimiya
    You can count on me!
[04:57] Tsukimiya
    Their schedules,
[04:58] Tsukimiya
    I'm gonna spin it hard!
[04:59] ---
    when they're getting on rides,
[04:59] ---
    This is fun!
[05:01] ---
    Wow, this looks yummy!
[05:01] ---
    when they'll hit the restroom,
    when they'll get hungry...
[05:03] Tsukimiya
    Even memories from their past lives!
    I'll tell you anything you want to know.
[05:08] Koyuki
    Are you God?!
[05:10] Koyuki
    No, I don't believe him for a minute.
[05:12] Koyuki
    He's definitely planning something!
[05:14] Koyuki
    I bet he'll start charging me halfway through!
[05:16] Hanadori
    Don't worry, Gestöber.
[05:20] Hanadori
    No matter who it is you're fighting...
[05:22] Hanadori
    With me by your side, there's nothing to fear.
[05:25] Hanadori
    Because I hold the world in my very hand!
[05:30] Hanadori
    Huh?
[05:31] Hanadori
    Am I doing this right?
[05:32] Koyuki
    You're getting too excited,
    dark god of destruction.
[05:32] Koyuki
    Look!
[05:34] Tsukimiya
    Okay, let's head this way first.
[05:35] Tsukimiya
    Wait...
[05:37] ---
    Hey, wait a—
[05:41] Yae
    What are you guys doing here?
[05:43] Clerk
    Enjoy the ride!
[05:46] Tsukimiya
    Listen, Seri-kun.
[05:48] Tsukimiya
    If you try to talk to her straight-up,
    she's not going to listen,
[05:53] Tsukimiya
    since you're the kind of asshole who
    hurts girls because you don't have a clue.
[05:57] Tsukimiya
    So just let her have it.
[05:59] Tsukimiya
    Wait for the moment you
    hit the top and start to fall.
[06:04] Tsukimiya
    Let her hear your cry of love!
[06:07] Koyuki
    Sumi—
[06:08] Hanadori
    Gestöber, never let me go!
[06:10] ---
    Hanadori!
[06:12] Clerk
    Welcome back!
[06:17] Hanadori
    I think that took a century off my life.
[06:21] Koyuki
    That just freaked her out!
[06:23] Tsukimiya
    Don't worry, Seri-kun.
    You'll get another chance.
[06:26] Koyuki
    No, I won't!
[06:27] ---
    What even was that plan?
    I couldn't yell in the middle of that!

[06:31] Tsukimiya
    You should've just yelled over Hanadori,
    "You've got it all wrong! I'm sorry! I love you!"
[06:35] Koyuki
    I couldn't yell that!
[06:36] Tsukimiya
    Okay, on to our next plan!
[06:38] Koyuki
    I'm worried.
[06:39] Hanadori
    Memories are rushing back...
    I used to ride this horse all the time!
[06:42] Clerk
    Get down!
SIGN    Failure
[06:44] Koyuki
    Failure.
[06:46] Koyuki
    I stood in line forever to
    get that for Sumiso-san!
[06:49] Hanadori
    Thank you, Gestöber!
SIGN    Failure
[06:51] Koyuki
    Failure.
[06:53] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun fell in!
SIGN    Failure
[06:55] Koyuki
    Failure.
[06:57] Koyuki
    It's over.
[06:58] ---
    I never stood a chance against him.
[07:01] Tsukimiya
    That was fast!
    You gave up so fast, Seri-kun!
[07:04] Tsukimiya
    What happened to all your grand fantasies?
[07:07] Tsukimiya
    I'm sure it'll work out next time!
[07:08] Koyuki
    You're only doing this for your own amusement!
SIGN    Haunted House
[07:13] Ghost
    Find my wishing stone...
SIGN    Horror Maze Forest
    of the Wishing Stone
SIGN    Find
     my
     stone...
[07:17] Tsukimiya
    The target went inside.
[07:20] ---
    Let's go after her, Seri-kun!
[07:21] Tsukimiya
    Come on!
[07:23] Ghost
    My wishing stone...
[07:23] Ghost
    Please, no!
[07:24] ---
    Come on, inside.
[07:26] Tsukimiya
    Stop being a wimp.
[07:27] ---
    You want to make up, right?
[07:29] Koyuki
    Not in a haunted house!
[07:31] Koyuki
    What am I supposed to say
    to her in a place like this?
[07:34] Tsukimiya
    "Man, I just love haunted houses.
[07:37] Tsukimiya
    You know, some folks say ghosts
    are just figments of your imagination.
[07:40] Tsukimiya
    Oh, and when I told you
    to get lost that one time,
[07:42] ---
    that was just a figment
    of your imagination, too!"
[07:45] Tsukimiya
    Just say that.
[07:46] Koyuki
    Too long!
[07:47] Koyuki
    Not to mention terrible.
[07:49] Koyuki
    Why would you even
    think that would work?
[07:51] Koyuki
    And you were the one calling me dense?
[07:53] Tsukimiya
    But, you know, we left Hanadori behind.
[07:56] ---
    We should hurry.
[07:57] Tsukimiya
    He always manages to get into trouble.
[07:59] Koyuki
    Sit. Stay.
[08:01] Koyuki
    But Hanadori-kun ruins everything.
[08:05] Koyuki
    Tsukimiya-kun's plans are terrible, but...
[08:07] Tsukimiya
    Hey, look, Seri-kun.
[08:09] ---
    It says there's a stone that grants wishes.
SIGN    Find it and win a prize
[08:09] Ghost
    Find my wishing stone...
[08:13] Koyuki
    No way! I'm scared!
[08:16] Koyuki
    That was the girls!
[08:21] Koyuki
    They saw me!
[08:21] Tsukimiya
    Seri-kun, behind you.
[08:30] Koyuki
    Something's coming!
[08:34] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun?!
[08:37] Tsukimiya
    What happened, Hanadori?
    I thought you were waiting outside.
[08:44] Tsukimiya
    Huh?
[08:45] ---
    Is that the ghost's wishing stone?
[08:48] Koyuki
    What ghost?
SIGN    Horror Maze Forest of the Wishing Stone
SIGN    Find
     my
     stone...
[08:51] Koyuki
    He looks kinda like No-Fce right now.
[08:55] Hanadori
    G-Gestöber...
[08:57] ---
    seemed like he was battling something.
[09:01] Hanadori
    So I wanted him to have
    the courage to face it.
[09:05] Koyuki
    For me?
[09:09] Koyuki
    What gives?
[09:10] ---
    You're such a scaredy-cat.
[09:13] ---
    I left you behind, and you did this for me?
[09:15] Hanadori
    You can do it, Gestöber.
[09:18] Koyuki
    Quit acting like No-Fce!

[09:20] Koyuki
    Damn it...
[09:23] Koyuki
    Thanks.
[09:26] Yae
    Ugh, you again?
[09:28] Yae
    What is with you guys?
[09:30] ---
    You keep showing up wherever we go.
[09:32] Yae
    Knock it off—
[09:34] Koyuki
    Sumiso-san,
[09:36] ---
    I'd like to talk to you.
[09:39] Koyuki
    Could I have a moment of your time?
[09:48] Sumiso
    Okay.
[09:53] Yae
    Hey! Why is she running off
     with a guy like him?
[09:55] Tsukimiya
    Come on, Yae-san.
[09:57] Tsukimiya
    I didn't think you were that nosy.
[10:00] Yae
    What do you know about me?!
[10:03] Tsukimiya
    What do you know about Seri-kun?
[10:06] Tsukimiya
    He's a coward.
[10:08] ---
    He's shy, he acts on his emotions,
    and he can be dense...
[10:13] Tsukimiya
    But he's not so bad.
[10:16] Sumiso
    You thought I was someone else?
[10:17] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun and Tsukimiya-kun
    had asked to hang out that day,
[10:21] ---
    but I turned them down...
[10:23] Koyuki
    Because I thought that... y-you might
    contact me over summer break.
[10:31] Koyuki
    And I didn't want to miss hearing from you.
[10:34] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun's not all bad,
[10:37] ---
    but he's caused me a lot of grief...
[10:40] Koyuki
    I thought you were him! That's why I yelled!
[10:42] Koyuki
    I'm sorry for upsetting you!
[10:45] Kotoko
    Then it wasn't because
    you didn't want to see me?
[10:48] Koyuki
    Absolutely not! I was looking
    forward to seeing you.
[10:50] Koyuki
    I thought I was telling
    Hanadori-kun to get lost.
[10:53] Kotoko
    I... I see...
[10:55] Kotoko
    But is it okay to say that...
[10:58] Kotoko
    right in front of him?
[11:00] Koyuki
    Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?!
[11:02] Hanadori
    Gestöber, I didn't know you felt that way...
[11:06] Hanadori
    You asked why I didn't come over that day,
[11:09] Hanadori
    so I thought it was okay to show up.
[11:12] Hanadori
    The mango lassi at Maruyama Café was
    delicious, and I wanted you to try it,
[11:17] Hanadori
    b-but I didn't w-want to bother you...
[11:17] Hanadori
    Wait... U-Um...
[11:20] Hanadori
    You said that no matter what
    happened in our last life,
[11:23] ---
    Gestöber and Sturmhut
    would always be together...
[11:25] Koyuki
    No, I didn't.
[11:26] Hanadori
    We spent so many nights together
    sharing our deepest secrets...
[11:31] ---
    Whoa, whoa, whoa...
[11:32] Koyuki
    What song is that?
[11:34] Koyuki
    She's freaked out!
    You freaked Sumiso-san out!
[11:36] Hanadori
    I knew you were going to
    fight a great battle today,
[11:38] Koyuki
    No, stop! Where's this coming from?!
[11:40] ---
    and I wanted to cheer you on...
[11:42] Koyuki
    Hey, uh, Hanadori-ku—
[11:45] Hanadori
    This stupid thing! This stupid thing...
[11:51] Hanadori
    Stupid... thing...
[11:54] ---
    I...
[11:55] Koyuki
    I'm sorry, Hanadori-kun!
[11:57] Koyuki
    I, Koyuki Seri, being too skilled at
    making Hanadori-kun feel guilty,
[12:01] ---
    was thusly defeated.
[12:02] Kotoko
    Well, I'll be cheering both of you on.
[12:05] Yae
    Let's go, Kotoko.
[12:06] Koyuki
    Day one ended with Sumiso-san
    getting some weird idea...
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Gloom
[12:12] Koyuki
    and another misunderstanding.
[12:16] Kotoko
    Yae-chan,
[12:17] ---
    the two of them might be
    fighting something in secret.
[12:21] ---
    Huh?
[12:23] Teacher
    Wakiarai Temple,
     the place we're visiting today,
[12:26] ---
    is a famous historical... power spot.
[12:30] Teacher
    And, uh... it grants wishes.
[12:32] Student
    Sensei, stop reading from the book!
[12:35] Koyuki
    Wishes, huh?
SIGN    H M P H !
[12:40] Koyuki
    H-He's infuriating...
[12:44] Koyuki
    Day two of the class trip...
[12:46] Koyuki
    Hanadori-kun's as pissed as ever.
[12:48] Tsukimiya
    That's bad manners, Hanadori.
[12:50] Koyuki
    He's making it so obvious that he's angry.
[12:52] Koyuki
    I don't even care.
[12:56] Koyuki
    Huh? It's more bubbly than usual...
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Haha
[12:59] Koyuki
    He pulled childish pranks like that,
[13:02] Koyuki
    and I woke up in the middle of the night...
[13:06] Koyuki
    to find I was part of some weird ritual.
[13:11] Student
    Hey, watch where you're goin'!
    You slammed into me!
[13:14] Student
    What school are you from, punk?
[13:16] Hanadori
    Get 'em, boss!
[13:17] Koyuki
    Then he shoved me in front of some
    scary guy from another school...
[13:18] Koyuki
    Wh-Who are you calling "boss"?!
SIGN    Hmph!
[13:21] Koyuki
    And...
[13:23] Kotoko
    You can do it!
[13:25] Koyuki
    Sumiso-san still seems to have the wrong idea.
[13:29] Koyuki
    Dear God, I'm so tired.
[13:32] Koyuki
    Why did Hanadori-kun and
    Tsukimiya-kun choose me?
[13:36] Koyuki
    Please send them somewhere far away
[13:39] ---
    where I'll never have to deal with them again.
[13:42] Koyuki
    Please, God.
[13:46] Koyuki
    Just kidding.
[13:48] Teacher
    Okay, people!
[13:49] ---
    Split up into groups and enjoy the sights.
[13:52] Teacher
    Make sure you all get along.
SIGN    Hmph!
[13:55] Koyuki
    Hey, he left me!
SIGN    Rrgh
[14:01] Koyuki
    Fine.
[14:02] ---
    If that's what you want,
    it works out great for me.
[14:05] Koyuki
    Huh?
[14:06] ---
    Looks like I got separated!
[14:16] Koyuki
    Tuna-flavored ice cream! Yum!
[14:19] Koyuki
    Hey! Where are we going next?
[14:21] Koyuki
    I want to take some photos
    at the tuna museum.
[14:23] Aizu
    Koyuki, are you sure you
    should be with our group?
[14:26] Aizu
    You'll get in trouble.
[14:28] Koyuki
    It's fine.
[14:29] ---
    They're the ones who ran off on me.
[14:31] Aizu
    And here I thought you'd finally
    made some friends besides me.
[14:34] Koyuki
    Don't be rude!
[14:37] Koyuki
    Are they worried about me?
[14:40] ---
    Yeah, right.
[14:41] Koyuki
    They're probably secretly
    watching me from afar,
[14:44] ---
    hoping I'll be looking for them.
[14:46] Koyuki
    Forget 'em.
[14:49] Students
    Seriously?
[14:50] Students
    That's so dumb!
SIGN    Grilled Salmon
[14:51] Students
    What a total waste of time.
[14:53] Students
    Well, you know...
[14:53] Aizu
    They're from Numa High.
[14:55] Aizu
    Those guys are bad news.
[14:57] ---
    Stay away from them, Koyuki.
[14:58] Aizu
    S-Sure...
[15:00] Koyuki
    Wait, aren't they the ones that...
[15:04] Aizu
    Koyuki?
[15:05] Koyuki
    Don't tell me...
[15:07] Hanadori
    Thanks for splashing dressing
    all over me back there.
[15:12] Hanadori
    I need to thank you for that.
[15:16] Koyuki
    No way!
[15:17] Koyuki
    If that happened,
[15:19] ---
    Hanadori-kun would shake like a cell phone
    on vibrate and just hand over his money...
[15:22] Koyuki
    even though he was looking forward
    to buying souvenirs for everyone.
SIGN    Memories From My Class Trip
[15:32] Koyuki
    I just made myself feel bad.
[15:34] Koyuki
    I'm so dumb.
[15:36] Koyuki
    Worrying about him is just
    giving him what he wants.
[15:40] Aizu
    Koyuki,
[15:41] ---
    someone says they saw Hanadori get
    dragged off by guys from another school.
[15:45] Aizu
    Is he okay?
[15:48] Aizu
    Koyuki?
[15:51] Koyuki
    God, this isn't what I wanted!
SIGN    Him
SIGN    Here
[16:01] Koyuki
    I-I came unarmed...
[16:03] Koyuki
    What do I do?
[16:04] ---
    I wonder if Tsukimiya-kun is with him.
[16:06] Koyuki
    Is this really the one time he isn't around?
[16:09] Koyuki
    Why me?
[16:10] Koyuki
    But...
[16:16] Hanadori
    So I wanted him to have
    the courage to face it.
[16:20] Koyuki
    All right...
[16:21] ---
    I'll start by getting a look inside.
[16:25] ---
    Hanadori-kun!
[16:26] Tokimune
    You like it, right?
[16:28] Tokimune
    Don't hold back. Sing for me.
[16:30] Hanadori
    No...
[16:31] ---
    I left that life behind!
[16:33] Tokimune
    Do you think that I... no, the world...
[16:37] ---
    would let someone with your abilities go?
[16:40] Tokimune
    You remember, don't you?
[16:42] Tokimune
    When you bathed in dark power...
[16:46] Tokimune
    In the lunar labyrinth,
    in the land of darkness...
[16:49] Hanadori
    Stop!
[16:50] Tokimune
    Scream and cry in the void
    between life and death...
[16:53] Tokimune
    The despair of destruction.
SIGN    BAAAM
[16:57] Both
    Sing, Dead Bull!
[17:00] Koyuki
    What? What are they doing?
[17:01] Koyuki
    Do they know him?
[17:03] Koyuki
    "Dead Bull"? They're dead?
[17:06] Tokimune
    Your body is honest, even if you aren't.
[17:09] Tokimune
    You really never change, huh?
[17:12] Tokimune
    In middle school,
[17:13] ---
    I fell in love with your soul and your singing.
[17:16] Koyuki
    His singing?!
[17:17] Tokimune
    I told you that together,
[17:18] ---
    we could take over the world. Remember?
[17:21] Hanadori
    Sturmhut doesn't want that.
[17:24] Tokimune
    Silence.
[17:25] ---
    Your body doesn't belong to you alone.
[17:30] Tokimune
    The cheers at the festival...
[17:33] Tokimune
    That felt so great, didn't it?
[17:35] Koyuki
    You sang at festivals?!
[17:37] Hanadori
    It did,
[17:38] ---
    and I'm grateful to you.
[17:40] Hanadori
    You slaked both my thirst and Miguel's.
[17:43] Koyuki
    I had no idea about this dark
    history of Hanadori-kun's...
[17:46] Koyuki
    And I wish I still didn't.
[17:47] Hanadori
    But I've recalled my destiny as Sturmhut.
[17:51] Hanadori
    Gestöber showed me the light.
[17:54] Koyuki
    Please, no. Don't mention me.
[17:56] Koyuki
    What's wrong with you?
[17:57] ---
    If you know people like you,
    be friends with them.
[18:00] Koyuki
    I was stupid to worry.
[18:01] Hanadori
    And it was a man named Tsukimiya Utsugi
     who guided me to Gestöber.
[18:08] Hanadori
    He told me he was my partner in my last life.
[18:08] Hanadori
    H-Huh?
[18:11] Koyuki
    So the reason Hanadori-kun
    won't leave me alone is...
[18:16] Koyuki
    Because of Tsukimiya-kun?!
[18:19] Tsukimiya
    That's right.
[18:21] Koyuki
    What the hell did you do?!
[18:22] Koyuki
    And when did you get here?!
    Where the hell have you been?!
[18:25] Tsukimiya
    Seri-kun, you're so happy that you're crying!
[18:27] Koyuki
    Like hell I am!
[18:29] Tokimune
    I've seen this "Gestöber."
[18:33] Tokimune
    But he's not worthy of you.
[18:37] Tokimune
    With the way he treats you,
    he can't have the soul of a hero.
[18:43] Koyuki
    Yeah, that's right!
[18:45] Tokimune
    And you looked unhappy
    the whole time yourself.
[18:49] Tokimune
    Come back to me, Miguel.
[18:51] Tokimune
    You belong at Tokimune Shikimi's side.
[18:56] Koyuki
    Yeah! Do it, Hanadori-kun!
[18:58] Koyuki
    I'll tell the teacher what's up.
[18:59] Tokimune
    He doesn't think about you at all.
[18:59] Koyuki
    Bye! Have a nice life!
[19:03] ---
    What?
[19:03] Tokimune
    I can't allow a man like that to stand by you.
[19:07] Koyuki
    Who doesn't think about Hanadori-kun at all?
[19:10] Koyuki
    Do you know how much of my
    life I've wasted on him?
[19:14] Koyuki
    You don't know a damn thing!
[19:15] Tokimune
    Are you that much of a fool?
[19:19] Tokimune
    Surely you understand, Miguel.
[19:21] Hanadori
    It's true...
[19:23] ---
    I may be a fool.
[19:24] Hanadori
    But if letting logic decide your partner
     is the smart thing to do...
[19:31] Hanadori
    I don't need to be smart.
[19:37] Tokimune
    You always did know
    how to make me shiver.
[19:39] Koyuki
    I've got the shivers, too.
[19:41] Koyuki
    What's with these two?
[19:43] Koyuki
    It's like they're drunk on youth!
[19:44] Koyuki
    I can't take this!
[19:46] Tokimune
    Tell me one last thing before you go.
[19:48] Tokimune
    Why him?
[19:50] Tokimune
    Is it really just a connection
    from a past life?
[19:53] Koyuki
    Why me?
[19:56] Tokimune
    It was our first year of high school...
[20:03] Tokimune
    I saw Gestöber crying behind the school.
[20:07] Tokimune
    I don't know why, but he was whispering...
[20:11] (Flashback) Koyuki
    They're so stupid.
[20:14] (Flashback) ---
    They're not even that strong.
[20:16] (Flashback) Koyuki
    If I had someone really strong for a friend,
[20:21] (Flashback) ---
    I bet they'd all run away!
[20:23] (Flashback) Koyuki
    God's not fair!
[20:27] Hanadori
    Who do you think I am?
[20:29] Hanadori
    I swear on my name that
    I will grant your wish.
[20:31] Hanadori
    I will become the friend you long for!
[20:34] Hanadori
    That was when a heart of light started
     beating within the dark god of destruc—
[20:38] Koyuki
    Stop it!
[20:39] Hanadori
    G-Gestöber!
[20:40] Koyuki
    Lies! All lies!
[20:42] Koyuki
    Why did you have to hear that?!
[20:45] Tsukimiya
    So that's what you were thinking, Seri-kun?
[20:48] Koyuki
    No! No!
[20:49] Koyuki
    We were studying Chopin in music class,
[20:52] Koyuki
    and I accidentally called him "Chopping"!
    I got upset because everyone laughed at me!
[20:56] Koyuki
    I was just venting!
[20:58] Koyuki
    I don't really think stuff like that!
[21:01] Tsukimiya
    Yeah, it would be pretty
    embarrassing if you did!
[21:04] Koyuki
    Stop it!
[21:05] Hanadori
    Chopping?
[21:06] Koyuki
    Don't you laugh, too!
[21:08] Koyuki
    How did this end up with
     you taking pity on me?!
[21:11] Koyuki
    It's not fair!
[21:13] Tsukimiya
    This is the life you asked for, Seri-kun.
[21:16] Tsukimiya
    God's been granting your wishes all along.
[21:21] Hanadori
    Gestöber!
[21:23] Hanadori
    Wake up, Gestöber!
[21:26] Tokimune
    You've gotten soft, Miguel.
[21:28] Tokimune
    But I won't give up.
[21:31] ---
    Not until I've sharpened your blade again.
[21:34] Koyuki
    I, however, didn't hear his ominous
    proclamation that he would return.
[21:38] Koyuki
    I don't even know what happened after that,
[21:40] Koyuki
    other than that our trip came to an end.
SIGN    Memories From My Class Trip
[21:44] Teacher
    What's wrong with Koyuki?
[21:46] Tsukimiya
    Culture shock, maybe?
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:48] Hanadori
    Gestöber!
[21:50] Koyuki
    Dear God, please make it
    so this never happened...
[23:26] Koyuki
    I said I'd help, but I didn't
    think you'd make me do this...
[23:29] Koyuki
    I've been outside the keyframe
     artist's house for three hours.
[23:32] Koyuki
    Hibiki-kun, is that keyframe ready yet?
[23:35] Koyuki
    Finish it up already!
[23:37] ---
    We won't make it in time for airing!

Season 1

E6 - Brilliant Destiny

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[00:00] Mogami
    In elementary school,
[00:02] ---
    I played the red oni in
    "The Red Oni Who Cried."
SIGN    This house belongs
     to a nice oni.
    Please come in.
[00:04] Mogami
    The red oni is sad because
    he can't make human friends.
[00:07] Mogami
    But his friend, the blue oni, says to him...
[00:10] K
    I'll go to the human village
    and make a big fuss!
[00:13] K
    Then you can come and beat me up!
[00:16] M
    And so the red oni becomes
    friends with the humans,
[00:19] M
    but the blue oni vanishes.
[00:20] ---
    When the red oni goes
    to his house, he realizes...
SIGN    Blue
SIGN    Dear Blue Oni,
    I hope you can be good
     friends with the humans.
     If I'm with you, they might
     think that you're a bad
    oni, too. Goodbye.
     I'll always be your friend.
    -The Red Oni
[00:24] M
    The blue oni left so that
    he wouldn't get in trouble.
[00:28] M
    And the red oni cries.
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
[02:03] K
    Anyone have ideas about what we
    should do for the culture festival?
SIGN    Delusion 6
[02:06] U
    Livestream us playing the game I made,
     "Married Wives 24 Hours"!
[02:09] H
    A performance by Sturmhut,
    knight of light and darkness...
[02:12] ---
    "The Price Paid for the Light."
[02:14] M
    The play, "The Red Oni Who Cried."
[02:16] K
    Who would want to see any of that?
[02:18] ---
    Those are all...
[02:21] K
    There's someone suspicious in our class.
[02:25] T
    Hey, what's wrong, Koyuki?
[02:28] M
    So we meet again...
[02:30] ---
    Do you remember me?
[02:35] T
    Calm down, Koyuki!
SIGN    Mogami Kimikage
[02:36] T
    This is the new student,
    Mogami Kimikage-kun.
[02:39] T
    I forgot, you were out sick
    when he transferred in.
[02:42] T
    He says you were friends
    in elementary school.
[02:46] K
    I don't know him.
[02:47] K
    I don't know anyone that scary!
[02:48] K
    Who the heck is he?
[02:49] ---
    Why was he waving a sword at me?
[02:51] K
    Why isn't the teacher saying anything?
[02:53] K
    What's wrong with this school?
[02:54] K
    What's wrong with my life?
[02:55] K
    None of this makes sense!
[02:57] M
    It's been too long, Koyukichi-dono.
[03:01] (Flashback) M
    Koyukichi-kun!
[03:02] (Flashback) K
    My name's Koyuki.
[03:04] (Flashback) M
    Koyuki... chi-kun.
[03:08] K
    Wait, is that...
[03:10] H
    Hey, you said you're an old
    friend of Gestöber's, right?
[03:14] M
    Who are you? You're very strange.
[03:16] K
    Look who's talking.
[03:17] Girl
    Hey, is that the new kid?
[03:19] ---
    Wow, he's nuts.
[03:21] Girl
    For real...
[03:21] K
    Huh?
[03:22] ---
    He cares what other people think of him?
[03:24] K
    Despite that outfit...
[03:26] M
    How embarrassing.
[03:28] M
    My mask has bedhead.
[03:30] K
    That's not the problem here!
    Also, you sleep with that on?!
[03:33] K
    Actually, I guess he used to be like that...
[03:36] K
    Maybe it really is him.
[03:38] U
    A transfer student in the same class,
    and he turns out to be an old friend!
[03:41] U
    Sounds like fate, huh?
[03:43] M
    My sister attends this school
     and said she saw you.
[03:46] M
    So I transferred immediately.
[03:49] K
    He followed me here?
[03:51] ---
    Why?
[03:53] M
    I, the red oni, have sinned.
[03:56] M
    I have come to be judged
[03:58] M
    so that I may be slain by my
    blue oni, Koyukichi-dono.
[04:04] K
    Oh, that's right!
[04:05] K
    I have to go now!
[04:07] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[04:11] K
    What's going on?
[04:12] K
    He didn't used to be like this!
[04:15] K
    He's turned into a total weirdo!
[04:17] K
    And what was that about sin?
    I don't remember him doing anything...
[04:22] (Flashback) Guy
    Mogami's playing with ohajiki?
[04:25] (Flashback) ---
    That's so lame.
[04:26] (Flashback) Guy
    Wow, I've never even seen them before!
[04:29] (Flashback) Guy
    You don't even have any video games?
[04:31] (Flashback) ---
    Are you poor?
[04:34] (Flashback) M
    I'll get yelled at if I lose them,
    so I put them away,
[04:37] (Flashback) M
    but I actually have ivory ohajiki!
[04:39] (Flashback) K
    That's what you were worried about?
[04:41] (Flashback) K
    Teach me to play ohajiki sometime.
[04:43] (Flashback) M
    Okay.
[04:44] K
    He was quiet and kind of oddly shy,
[04:46] K
    and we weren't especially close,
[04:49] K
    but sometimes we had moments like that.
[04:51] K
    I transferred and never
    saw him again, though.
[04:54] K
    What's all this oni stuff about?
[04:58] M
    Slay me with this katana, Koyukichi-dono!
[05:02] K
    Don't talk to me from the next stall!
[05:03] M
    Koyukichi-dono! Koyukichi-dono!
[05:03] K
    H-Hey! Watch it!
    That's dangerous! Really dangerous!
[05:05] M
    Koyukichi-dono! Koyu—
[05:06] K
    Why?
[05:08] K
    I'm sorry, but I don't remember.
[05:10] K
    Did something that bad happen?
[05:14] M
    It was in our school's bathroom that
    I took advantage of your kindness
[05:19] ---
    and became an oni warrior.
[05:22] K
    Your memories are of the bathroom?
[05:23] (Flashback) K
    What's wrong, Mogami-kun?
[05:25] (Flashback) M
    I-I forgot we had a urine test today,
     and I already went!
[05:29] (Flashback) M
    What do I do? Everyone will
    think I don't know how to pee!
[05:32] (Flashback) K
    No, they won't.
[05:35] (Flashback) K
    You can have mine.
SIGN    Class 2-3 Koyuki Seri
SIGN    Urine Test
[05:36] (Flashback) K
    Don't worry. I know a way to make this work.
[05:40] M
    Yet disaster struck the very next day.
[05:46] M
    You were told that your test
    results didn't make sense,
[05:48] ---
    and you broke down crying.
[05:50] M
    I'd wondered if perhaps your plan involved
     the dog that lived behind the school,
[05:54] M
    but I couldn't bring myself to speak up.
[05:57] M
    A month after that, you transferred schools...
[06:00] M
    Just like the blue oni who went
    far away to spare his friend, right?
[06:05] M
    No... I was the real oni.
[06:09] K
    No way!
[06:10] ---
    I wouldn't do something that stupid!
[06:12] K
    Please stop! If someone hears that...
[06:15] K
    What are you doing in the bathroom?!
[06:20] H
    Gestöber, you got a dog to piss in a cup?
[06:23] K
    No! And you're the last person
    I want laughing at me!
[06:27] H
    My stomach hurts...
[06:28] K
    I'll hurt more than your stomach!
[06:30] M
    Either way, it's clear that you
    left in shame because of me.
[06:35] M
    I want you to avenge your pain by killing me!
[06:39] K
    No... I'd forgotten all about that,
[06:42] ---
    so the only thing that pains
    me is you bringing it up!
SIGN    Slash
[06:45] M
    Here.
[06:46] K
    Don't give me your sword!
    And don't open my stall!
[06:49] H
    Goodness... Really?
[06:51] H
    You're telling me you think
    Gestöber hates you,
[06:55] H
    and you're doing all this nonsense
    to absolve yourself of guilt?
[06:59] K
    Uh, can we please not talk
    about this in my bathroom stall?
[07:03] H
    And you're not even thinking about how
     this makes things harder for Gestöber?
[07:06] H
    How selfish.
[07:08] K
    That goes for you, too!
[07:09] M
    And what kind of character
    are you supposed to be?
[07:12] M
    Aren't you a bit old for this?
[07:13] K
    Are you being serious right now?
[07:15] H
    So the likes of you would oppose me?
[07:18] H
    Ignorant fool!
[07:20] H
    Listen well.
[07:21] H
    Only a coward would seek to assuage their
    guilt by forcing another to punish them.
[07:28] H
    If you lack the courage to face the oni within
    your heart every day for the rest of your life,
[07:32] H
    then you're not worthy of that mask!
[07:39] M
    You dare touch my soul?
[07:46] M
    What do you know?
[07:49] M
    You know nothing of me!
[07:52] H
    Hey, it was a joke!
[07:53] K
    Hello, god of destruction?!
[07:54] M
    What gives you the right to
    judge my dearest memories
[07:58] M
    when you don't know a thing about me?
[08:02] K
    I think something like this
    happened once before...
[08:05] K
    Mogami-kun made a badge or something,
    and people made fun of him.
[08:10] K
    What did I do then?
[08:16] K
    I'm sorry I forgot, Mogami-kun!
[08:18] K
    But I remember now!
[08:20] K
    I'm not mad!
[08:21] ---
    It was my decision to do it!
[08:23] K
    And I only changed schools because
    my dad got transferred at work!
[08:26] K
    So just stop this already!
[08:33] M
    I was so happy...
[08:36] M
    When I said ridiculous things,
[08:38] M
    you were the only one who
    would tell me I was wrong.
[08:42] M
    I was so sure you hated me.
[08:45] M
    And I was so sad, so miserable...
[08:47] M
    I wore the mask because
    I couldn't bear to face you.
[08:50] M
    I wanted you to defeat this evil oni.
[08:54] K
    You're a friend. I couldn't do that.
[08:59] M
    Koyukichi-dono...
[09:00] K
    It's "Koyuki," okay?
[09:01] M
    B-But I wouldn't feel right if you didn't!
[09:04] K
    I-It's fine, really.
    It was a misunderstanding.
[09:06] M
    Th-Then you can just tie me up with this rope
[09:09] ---
    and throw me out in the cold!
[09:11] K
    Why would I do that?
[09:13] K
    Then just insult me!
SIGN    Please
SIGN    Please
SIGN    Please
[09:14] ---
    Call me an oni! A devil! A pig!
    Or you can just hit me!
[09:18] K
    Please punish me!
SIGN    Stomp Stomp Stomp
SIGN    Stomp Stomp
[09:19] K
    You're just a pervert!
SIGN    S H O C K
[09:26] K
    I-I'm sorry, Mogami-kun! I...
[09:29] M
    That's just what I wanted, Koyukichi-dono.
SIGN    Gasp
[09:34] K
    "Just because someone was once a friend
[09:36] ---
    doesn't mean you can still open up
    to them today." Koyukichi.
[09:42] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[09:44] M
    Please punish me!
[09:45] ---
    Just a little! Just a little will do!
[09:48] K
    I'm such an idiot!
[09:49] ---
    I knew from the start that
    I shouldn't get involved!
[09:55] U
    Mogami-kun used to love it so much
    when Seri-kun yelled at him
[09:58] ---
    that he still hasn't forgotten
    it after all these years.
[10:02] U
    It's so nice to have shared memories.
[10:04] U
    Seri-kun doesn't remember his last life
    when the two of you were together.
[10:08] H
    Mogami Kimikage...
[10:10] ---
    The hell-bound object of my
    vengeance from my last life!
[10:12] ---
    Koyukichi-dono!
[10:13] H
    Possibly.
[10:33] H
    Hey, you!
[10:34] H
    You're bugging Gestöber again!
[10:37] M
    And what about you?
[10:38] ---
    You're not even Koyukichi-dono's friend.
[10:40] H
    Gestöber carries a great destiny:
[10:43] ---
    to fight by my side to maintain
    the balance of this world.
[10:46] M
    You're still going on about that?
[10:48] M
    It's time for you to outgrow
    the world of beeps and boops.
[10:51] H
    Beeps and boops?
[10:52] M
    I mean video games.
[10:54] H
    Video games?!
[10:55] H
    Gestöber, he's being mean!
[10:57] M
    Don't go whining to Koyukichi-dono
    any time something happens.
[10:58] K
    I'm starting to think I may
    never know peace again...
[11:00] H
    You're the whiner!
[11:01] ---
    I am not.
[11:02] ---
    You are!
[11:02] U
    It's like that tale about the
    sun and the north wind, huh?
[11:03] ---
    Am not.
[11:04] ---
    Are too!
[11:04] ---
    Am not.
[11:05] ---
    Are—
[11:05] U
    You're the traveler, Seri-kun.
[11:07] ---
    And those two are the sun and the wind,
[11:09] U
    fighting to see who can take off your coat...
[11:11] ---
    who can break down the walls of your heart!
[11:14] Both
    Fighting?
[11:16] H
    I know who'd win in a real fight.
[11:18] H
    I've been by his side from
    our past life to our class trip!
[11:23] M
    Nonsense. You haven't even
    exchanged urine samples.
[11:26] M
    If you want to surrender, now's the time.
[11:29] Both
    I'll be the one who gets
     a play date with Koyukichi-dono!
[11:29] Both
    I'll be the one who gets
    a play date with Gestöber!
[11:33] K
    Are we in preschool?!
[11:34] K
    What's this about play dates?
[11:36] K
    You never even asked to hang out!
[11:38] K
    Why did you two suddenly turn
    into Ushiwakamaru and Benkei?
[11:40] K
    If you want to hang out,
    then hang out with yourselves!
[11:43] K
    Damn it all!
[11:44] K
    I told myself today was going to
    be the day I didn't yell at anyone!
[11:47] U
    Accept yourself for who you are, Seri-kun.
[11:50] K
    Shut up, you snickering asshole!
[11:51] K
    I hate you!
[11:54] Yae
    They're always so annoying.
[11:57] K
    I'm never raising my voice again.
[12:00] K
    I won't give up on peaceful days.
[12:02] K
    I will achieve a state of emptiness.
[12:07] K
    Shut up.
[12:11] M
    A wonderful performance, Koyukichi-dono!
[12:15] M
    I'm so jealous...
[12:16] M
    If I were a timpani, you'd strike me, too.
[12:20] K
    Won't. Say. A. Word.
[12:23] Student
    I'm with the student council.
[12:25] Student
    Who's the festival rep for this class?
[12:27] K
    Oh, that's me.
[12:28] Student
    Has your class decided what it's doing?
[12:30] K
    No, not yet.
[12:31] Student
    Well, hurry it up.
[12:33] K
    That's right.
[12:34] K
    I was so distracted by all this...
    What should we do?
[12:36] H
    Gestöber, why don't we put on a performance?
[12:38] ---
    Perhaps a musical?
[12:39] K
    What's with you? You're creeping me out.
[12:40] M
    What's wrong with you?
[12:42] M
    Were you jealous of my and
     Koyukichi-dono's performance?
[12:46] M
    Anything music-related is taboo
    around Koyukichi-dono.
[12:48] H
    What?
[12:49] M
    It happened when I was teaching
    him how to finger on a recorder.
[12:54] M
    He hurt his tiny fingers
    trying to spread them too far,
[12:58] ---
    but didn't know what had happened...
[12:59] (Flashback) K
    It hurts! I've been cursed!
[13:02] M
    ...and he burst into tears.
[13:03] K
    Shut up!
[13:05] M
    So we mustn't bring back
    memories of that trauma.
[13:09] K
    You're my trauma!
[13:09] M**
    And I have the right to be punished.
[13:13] K
    Well, I'm not obliged to do it!
[13:15] H
    Cursed? Gestöber, you dork!
[13:19] K
    That's enough from you!
[13:20] U
    Sensei, I'll play the piano.
[13:23] Teacher
    Okay.
[13:24] U
    This is Chopin's "Revolutionary Étude."
[13:25] K
    Chopping!
[13:27] H
    "Ch-Chopping" is too funny, Gestöber!
[13:29] K
    Stop teasing me!
[13:31] K
    This is the worst.
[13:33] K
    I have to figure out what
    we're doing for the festival,
[13:35] ---
    but I'm not feeling so hot...
[13:38] H
    I, Hanadori Kabuto, will sing.
[13:40] H
    I swore that I would never
    sing with Dead Bull again,
[13:43] ---
    but I will sing for my partner, Gestöber.
[13:46] K
    Nope. Not interested.
[13:47] H
    Please, listen to my aria!
[14:11] K
    He has the voice of an angel?!
[14:14] K
    Hanadori-kun, why be a god of destruction?
[14:17] K
    Go back to Dead Bull!
[14:18] H
    I-I hope that brings at least some
    peace to Gestöber's heart...
[14:23] K
    The opposite, actually.
[14:27] H
    Widdlekins, the little black kitty,
[14:31] H
    goes meow, meow, meow in my lap...
[14:35] K
    What's with the sudden change?
[14:36] H
    He licks my face, too!
[14:39] ---
    Mew, mew, mew!
[14:39] K
    The hell? Do you think that's cute?
[14:41] H
    And he licks my fingers too, meow!
[14:41] ---
    Don't look at me!
[14:45] K
    What exactly do you want us to do now?
[14:48] H
    Did I break down the walls
     of your heart, meow?
[14:50] K
    They're thicker than ever!
[14:51] K
    Everyone's looking at me like,
[14:53] ---
    "He's your friend, right? Do something!"
[14:56] H
    Meow!
[14:59] K
    Go back to being a dark god
    of destruction already!
[15:01] Student
    Did you decide what you're doing?
[15:02] K
    Hell no!
[15:04] M
    Kabu-dono.
[15:05] M
    Cats are taboo around Koyukichi-dono.
[15:07] K
    How many dark stories
    from my past do you know?!
[15:10] M
    Koyukichi-dono has this stuffed
    cat that's very dear to him.
[15:13] ---
    He got it for me, but he sleeps
    with it every night, and...
[15:18] K
    I'm going home.
[15:22] K
    This was the day I, Koyuki Seri, abandoned
    my personal war to never yell at anyone.
[15:31] K
    I'm Shirayuki Seri from Mitoya High.
SIGN    Shirayuki Seri
[15:35] K
    Nice to meet you all.
[15:36] U
    I'm Kuromiya-kun!
[15:37] M
    I am Kurokage.
[15:40] H
    Am I late?
[15:41] ---
    This animal spoke to me, Kurodori Kabuto...
[15:47] K
    A dream? Oh, man...
[15:50] U
    It's time for an emergency meeting.
[15:51] ---
    Who killed Seri-kun?
[15:54] H
    I'm the one who pushed him to the brink.
[15:56] M
    It's my fault.
[15:58] Hibiki
    It's my fault!
[16:01] U
    In a way, everyone became the north wind
[16:03] ---
    and closed off Seri-kun's heart.
[16:05] U
    So who here can be our sun?
[16:12] Man
    Package for Koyuki-san!
[16:16] K
    Don't tell me... Hibiki-kun?
[16:21] Hibiki
    "I sent you this to help you feel
    better, Gestöber-senpai!"
[16:24] K
    What is this?
[16:25] K
    Is an underclassman playing a prank on me?
[16:27] Hibiki
    "It's a skull-shaped incense burner!
[16:29] Hibiki
    My way of telling you to rest..."
[16:31] K
    Rest in peace?!
[16:34] K
    This is no good.
[16:35] ---
    I'm feeling like the whole
    world is out to get me.
[16:39] K
    N-Nyanteko!
[16:41] K
    Wh-What is that?
[16:43] K
    A arrow?
[16:44] K
    Who could have...
[16:47] M
    It seems it reached you.
[16:49] K
    Mogami, you jerk!
[16:51] M
    The sun watches over you indirectly.
[16:54] M
    Farewell.
[16:54] K
    There was nothing "indirect" about that!
[16:57] K
    What is wrong with everyone?
[17:00] M
    "Koyukichi-dono,
[17:01] ---
    I wove strands of my own
    hair into this straw doll.
[17:04] M
    It would give me the greatest pleasure if
    you'd pound a nail into it and shout at it..."
[17:07] K
    Even an indirect punishment like
    that would make him happy?
[17:10] K
    He's a real pervert!
[17:12] K
    It's no use...
[17:13] ---
    I can leave school, but I still
    can't get away from them.
[17:16] U
    Give it up, Seri-kun.
[17:18] U
    Give it up, Seri-kun!
[17:20] K
    Tsukimiya-kun's voice?!
[17:22] K
    Impossible...
[17:23] K
    It's like I can hear him in my head!
[17:25] K
    Is he God?
[17:26] K
    "Give it up"?
[17:28] ---
    Is he telling me I should
    accept them and just laugh?
[17:31] U
    That's right.
[17:31] K
    God?!
[17:32] K
    No, no, no... I'm imagining things.
[17:37] K
    But if the two of them are around, then...
[17:39] K
    So is he!
[17:43] K
    What's he going to do to me?!
[17:44] K
    Why am I the only one who
    has to deal with this?!
[17:45] Mom
    Seri, you have a guest.
[17:50] K
    No!
[17:52] Mom
    Your friend came all this way to see you.
[17:54] K
    The guy in the eyepatch, right?
[17:55] K
    He's not my friend! He's a god of destruction!
[17:57] Mom
    No!
[17:59] ---
    It's the girl who came by over the summer.
[18:03] Sumiso
    How are you feeling, Koyuki-kun?
[18:06] Sumiso
    I'm sorry for coming over
     without asking first.
[18:09] Sumiso
    Am I bothering you?
[18:11] K
    N-Not at all!
[18:14] K
    Thanks for coming.
[18:17] Sumiso
    That kitty's so cute!
[18:19] K
    Oh, yeah, that's...
[18:21] K
    I've had it since I was a kid.
[18:24] K
    Weird, right?
[18:25] K
    I'm in high school now...
[18:26] Sumiso
    Widdlekins, the little black kitty,
[18:30] Sumiso
    goes meow, meow, meow in my lap...
[18:35] Sumiso
    Do you know that song?
[18:37] Sumiso
    It's from a children's show.
[18:40] ---
    My class is going to sing it
    and do a dance at the festival.
[18:44] K
    R-Really?!
[18:45] Sumiso
    We'll be wearing cat ears and everything.
[18:47] K
    Cat ears?! Sumiso-san in cat ears!
[18:48] Sumiso
    Kind of embarrassing, huh?
[18:50] Sumiso
    Will you come see us?
[18:52] K
    Yes! I will!
[18:54] Sumiso
    It was Tsukimiya-kun who
    told me where you were.
[18:59] Sumiso
    I knew you were fighting something...
[19:03] Sumiso
    But he said you'd gotten kind of exhausted.
[19:05] K
    I-It's true that I'm fighting my
    hardest not to yell at anyone...
[19:09] Sumiso
    I'm with you, Koyuki-kun!
[19:12] ---
    I want to be on your side!
[19:16] K
    Sumiso-san...
[19:18] K
    You're my sun!
[19:22] Sumiso
    A-Are you okay, Koyuki-kun?
[19:24] K
    I'm just great.
[19:25] K
    Thank you, Sumiso-san!
[19:27] K
    But I abandoned it all.
[19:30] K
    Even the work I was supposed to do...
SIGN    Culture Festival
[19:32] Sumiso
    It'll be fine, okay?
[19:40] H
    Get to it.
[19:41] H
    Gestöber!
[19:42] H
    A-Are you feeling better?
[19:44] Sumiso
    You know...
[19:45] ---
    Hanadori-kun says he's going to handle
    all of the work you were supposed to do.
[19:51] Sumiso
    You really are comrades in arms, huh?
[19:54] K
    No, he's my sworn enemy.
[19:56] Girl
    You really were doing a lot, huh, Koyuki-kun?
[19:59] Girl
    Sorry. We didn't realize
    how hard it was on you.
[20:03] K
    Everyone was helping him...
[20:07] U
    When I said to give it up,
[20:08] ---
    I meant to stop trying to take
    things on all by yourself.
[20:13] H
    I didn't realize how hard it was for you
    to bring the whole class together.
[20:17] H
    And I asked you to shoulder
    the fate of the world, too.
[20:20] H
    Gestöber, I'm sorry.
[20:21] K
    Hanadori-kun...
[20:23] H
    From now on, let's make sure we focus
[20:25] ---
    on our school life as much as
    we focus on saving the world!
[20:28] K
    No, that's not right.
[20:29] K
    So, did we decide what we're
    doing for the culture festival?
[20:32] Student
    Who's the festival rep for this class again?
[20:34] K
    Oh... Here.
[20:36] Student
    The student council approved your proposal.
[20:39] H
    I see.
[20:40] H
    We'll go with that, then.
[20:42] K
    What about the cooking?
[20:43] H
    We're working to schedule
    the inspections for the kitchen.
[20:46] Student
    Roger that.
[20:46] ---
    Glad to hear you're on top of it.
[20:48] Student
    Hanadori, will this work
    for the budget allocation?
[20:50] H
    We should assume the
    kitchen team will need more.
[20:53] H
    Let's keep some money in reserve
    in case something comes up.
[20:56] Student
    Got it.
[20:57] H
    Oh, right.
[20:59] H
    I took notes for you while you were gone.
[21:01] H
    They're yours if you need them.
[21:03] Other Teacher
    Hanadori, you did a great job
    with all that extra work.
[21:08] H
    But of course!
[21:09] ---
    I was filling in for Gestöber!
[21:11] H
    G-Gestöber...
[21:13] ---
    I may not be as smart as you,
     but let's both—
[21:15] K
    Are you messing with me?!
[21:17] K
    This is the problem!
[21:18] ---
    The fact that you're like this
    is what makes you so difficult!
[21:22] M
    No! if you're going to hit someone, hit me!
[21:24] Hibiki
    Senpai, why are you hitting
    him with my present?
[21:26] H
    Gestöber!
[21:27] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[21:28] Hibiki
    You'll break the incense burner!
[21:30] U
    It's so much nicer when Seri-kun's around
    to keep all these masochists in line!
[21:35] K
    Don't you dare sum up my role that way!
SIGN    Japanese-style café
[21:39] H
    We took everyone's opinions
    into consideration and decided
[21:42] ---
    on two things: a Japanese-style
    café and a documentary entitled
[21:45] ---
    "The Trial of Gestöber and the
     Dark Past of Sturmhut the Ninja."
[21:48] K
    Just no!
[21:51] K
    Why is everyone laughing?!
[21:53] K
    Why is everyone picking on me?!
[21:56] U
    You brought everyone together, Seri-kun!
[21:59] K
    I wish I hadn't!
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[22:02] K
    Life is a nightmare,
[22:04] ---
    and the only thing keeping me going is
    the hope of seeing Sumiso-san in cat ears.
[23:20] Sumiso
    Huh? It's a cat costume and not cat ears?
[23:23] Yae
    That's right.
[23:25] UnknownSpeakers
    Let's get started.
[23:27] UnknownSpeakers
    Let's get to it!
[23:28] UnknownSpeakers
    Huh? What's with the video?
[23:30] UnknownSpeakers
    Sorry, it's just storyboards today.
[23:32] UnknownSpeakers
    What's going on here, Producer Hanadori?
[23:36] UnknownSpeakers
    My right eye!
[23:37] UnknownSpeakers
    Don't turn to darkness
    to escape your screw-up!

Season 1

E7 - Blurry Eyes

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Culture Festival
SIGN    Frankfurters
SIGN    Strawberry
     Banana
    Crêpes
SIGN    Warm Pork Soup
    200 Yen
SIGN    Café
SIGN    Closed
[00:11] T
    Okay, people, it's time for the culture festival!
[00:15] T
    Hey, now... What's with those faces?
[00:17] T
    Sell enough today and there's
    a prize in it for you!
[00:21] T
    The café or food stand that sells the most
SIGN    Café & Food Stand Gross Sales
[00:24] ---
    gets extra funds for their post-festival party!
[00:27] U
    Can we go bowling or
    do karaoke for the party?
[00:31] T
    Sure, as long as you're not out too late.
[00:34] U
    Really?
[00:35] U
    Go!
[00:37] U
    Let's do this, Sensei!
[00:40] T
    Let's see what you can do, Tsukimiya.
[00:41] K
    Why is he suddenly getting into it?
[00:43] K
    I've got a bad feeling...
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
[02:16] H
    It's time for the grand opening
SIGN    Delusion 7
[02:18] H
    of the Japanese-style café
     "Purgatory's Teahouse."
[02:20] K
    Hang on.
SIGN    Purgatory's Teahouse
[02:21] ---
    Why did you name it that?
[02:23] U
    Hey, Seri-kun, you haven't changed!
    Customers will be here any minute.
[02:27] K
    But I'm working in the back...
[02:29] U
    You know I'd never allow that.
SIGN    Purgatory's Teahouse
    
     -Cream Anmitsu
    -Matcha Mini-Parfait
SIGN    Special Kusa Dango
    
    Bean Paste Dango Set
[02:31] U
    Now get to it! Come on!
[02:35] K
    Wh-Why am I the only one who has to wear this?
[02:37] M
    You look great, Koyukichi-dono!
[02:39] M
    I wish you'd blow on me while
    you blow on that pinwheel!
[02:43] H
    The hour of judgment is here.
[02:44] H
    Let's go, Gestöber.
[02:45] K
    Go without me!
[02:47] U
    Listen, you two.
[02:48] U
    You want to do a duet with Seri-kun
[02:50] ---
    to make him remember your
    past bond, right, Hanadori?
[02:54] U
    And you want Seri-kun to crack your head open
    with a bowling ball, right, Mogami-kun?
[02:58] U
    Then there's only one thing to do...
[03:00] U
    And that's whatever it takes to get
    us to the top of the sales charts!
[03:03] All
    Yeah!
[03:04] K
    Why are they all coming together?
[03:06] K
    What are they planning? They're scaring me!
[03:09] K
    I wonder if I can just find a way to ditch
    instead of dealing with this stress...
[03:13] Girl
    Are you open?
[03:14] K
    I want to see Sumiso-san in cat ears!
[03:17] U
    Seri-kun, we have a customer!
[03:19] U
    Welcome!
[03:22] H
    Here you go. Our special kusa dan—
[03:26] Girls
    What?
[03:27] K
    H-Hanadori-kun?
[03:29] K
    You're sweating! Really sweating!
[03:33] K
    Huh?
[03:38] U
    My apologies, ladies.
[03:40] U
    I brought you a new plate.
[03:43] U
    I also added a folded lotus flower
    napkin as an apology.
[03:46] K
    Wh-What was that?
[03:46] Girls
    Oh, wow!
[03:48] K
    Where does he get those skills?
[03:50] U
    Now let's make some money!
SIGN    Purgatory's Teahouse
    
     -Cream Anmitsu
    -Matcha Mini-Parfait
[03:56] Hibiki
    It all sounds delicious, my senpais!
[04:00] H
    Oh, Helius!
[04:01] H
    You came, huh?
[04:02] U
    Welcome, Hibiki-kun!
[04:04] U
    I've been waiting for you.
[04:07] U
    I've got a special seat with your name on it.
[04:11] H
    Welcome!
[04:12] H
    Your water and hand towel.
[04:14] M
    Your menu.
[04:15] H
    Stay as long as you like.
[04:16] M
    Order whatever you like.
SIGN    Menu
[04:19] Hibiki
    I can't believe the warm welcome I'm getting!
[04:22] Hibiki
    Um, I'll take whatever you recommend.
[04:24] U
    I recommend everything.
[04:27] U
    I need one of everything!
[04:29] Kitchen Staff
    Okay!
[04:30] U
    That will be 140,000 yen, sir.
[04:33] U
    Is that all right?
[04:34] K
    Of course it's not!
[04:35] Koyuki(Background)
    It was a joke. It was just a joke, okay?
[04:35] K
    How did you come up with that number?
[04:37] K
    The poor guy froze up.
[04:39] K
    Don't try to rip off the underclassmen!
[04:42] H
    Th-Thank you for the food.
[04:42] K
    I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!
[04:44] All
    Thank you for coming!
[04:46] HIbiki
    I'm disgusting! I'm a loser!
[04:48] K
    Hibiki-kun!
[04:50] K
    If any bad rumors get started,
    we can forget our post-festival party.
[04:55] U
    Oh, I guess you're pretty
    serious about this too, huh?
[04:59] K
    No!
[04:59] Tokimune
    Hey, may I come in?
[05:02] K
    Oh, sorry.
[05:03] ---
    I'll show you to your... seat...
[05:05] BandMember
    Shi-chan, you said this
    was a European-style café!
[05:09] BandMember
    We don't belong here!
[05:12] Tokimune
    I-I'm Takeda...
[05:14] ---
    Takeda Shicharing Shikimune.
[05:16] Tokimune
    We've never met.
[05:17] K
    Who?!
[05:18] K
    What even is "Shicharing"?
    It sounds like "featuring"!
[05:21] K
    I know you. You're the guy
    from Dead Bull, right?
[05:23] K
    What is this?
[05:24] ---
    Is that supposed to be a disguise?
[05:25] ---
    What are you going to get, Shi-chan?
[05:26] K
    Did he come to check up on Hanadori again?
[05:29] K
    It'd be easier if he just acted normal.
[05:33] H
    Your water and hand towel.
[05:39] H
    Please enjoy yoursmelves.
[05:43] K
    Huh?
[05:45] H
    Whoopsie! I messed up my line!
[05:48] K
    "Whoopsie," my foot!
[05:50] K
    I see. He didn't notice.
[05:52] K
    He's so obsessed with Hanadori-kun, too...
[05:55] K
    Poor guy.
[05:56] Tokimune
    Miguel...
[05:58] ---
    After all our passionate concerts together,
    you didn't recognize me at all?
[06:02] ---
    Perhaps time has dulled your blade too much.
[06:05] BandMember
    Uh, isn't that what the disguise was for?
[06:07] U
    Sir, all of our kusa dango were
    handmade by Hanadori.
SIGN    Purgatory's Teahouse
[06:14] (Flashback) H
    Be yummy! Be yummy!
[06:18] U
    Why don't you try one?
[06:21] Tokimune
    I'll take them.
[06:22] ---
    Not one, but all of them.
[06:24] BandMember
    Wow!
[06:25] Tokimune
    Handled by Miguel! Just like me!
[06:29] Tokimune
    I shall take them all into my body!
[06:32] U
    Thanks for your patronage!
[06:34] Tokimune
    If you can say something that embarrassing,
[06:36] ---
    then why can't you just say, "It's me"?
[06:38] Aitsu
    Hey, Koyuki!
[06:40] Aitsu
    Workin' hard?
[06:41] K
    Yeah. You want something to drink?
[06:43] Aitsu
    No, thanks. This place is full of weirdos.
[06:47] Aitsu
    Anyway, come by my class when you can.
SIGN    Goth Loli Girls
    Fortune-Telling
SIGN    Fortune-Telling
[06:50] Aitsu
    It's the "Poison-Tongued Goth Loli
    Fortune-Telling Café."
[06:54] M
    So I want Koyukichi-dono to punish me,
[06:59] ---
    but he always refuses with kind words.
[07:02] M
    What should I do?
[07:04] K
    What kind of question is that?
[07:08] Suzuran
    You never change, Onii-sama.
[07:10] Suzuran
    Get on the ground and offer to be his chair.
[07:13] K
    What kind of advice is— "Onii-sama"?!
[07:15] ---
    Wait, what?
[07:17] K
    The sister Mogami-kun mentioned
    was his twin, wasn't she?
[07:20] K
    Huh? Was she like this?
[07:22] K
    Wait, haven't I seen her somewhere before?
[07:29] K
    Wait, why would you ask your
    sister something like that?!
[07:33] M
    Are you my sister?!
[07:34] K
    Are you blind, Onii-sama?
[07:36] Suzuran
    Koyuki Seri...
[07:37] ---
    I remember him.
[07:41] Suzuran
    On the day of the painting competition,
[07:43] ---
    I sketched him sobbing after he didn't
    make it to the bathroom in time.
[07:48] K
    Stop torturing me the same
    way your brother does!
[07:51] Suzuran
    So, what do you all want?
[07:54] K
    U-Uh... What was it again?
[07:56] U
    We can't have you stealing
    the number one spot,
[07:59] ---
    so we came to wreck your dojo!
[08:01] Suzuran
    This is a fortune-telling café.
[08:02] U
    Yes, which is why I'm going to
    fight you with fortune-telling.
[08:06] K
    What is he talking about?
[08:07] U
    I can do it, too.
[08:08] ---
    I don't even need tools.
[08:09] U
    I listen to the voice of the universe.
[08:12] U
    Everything is occurring as
    destiny has foreordained.
[08:15] U
    I simply watch.
[08:17] U
    What you're doing isn't real fortune-telling.
[08:20] U
    It's a combination of knowledge and wisdom
    gained through obsessive observation.
[08:25] U
    And the cards are just props.
[08:28] U
    Am I wrong, Mogami Suzuran-san?
[08:31] Suzuran
    So?
[08:32] ---
    Are you telling me to close up shop
    if I don't want you telling everyone?
[08:36] U
    Nope.
[08:36] ---
    Just come by our café and buy something.
[08:40] K
    Wh-What are you up to, Tsukimiya-kun?
[08:43] Suzuran
    You're going to poison the tea.
[08:46] Suzuran
    I read the fortunes of everyone in that class,
[08:48] ---
    and yours said, "Stay away
    from Tsukimiya Utsugi."
[08:52] K
    It was right!
[08:54] U
    But your coming has been foreordained.
[08:58] U
    I can tell by looking in your eyes.
[09:06] K
    Eyes...
[09:08] U
    Yes. Look into my eyes.
[09:14] U
    Good girl...
[09:20] K
    Mogami-san!
[09:21] M
    What happened, my sister?!
[09:22] K
    Wh-Wh-What did you do, Tsukimiya-kun?!
[09:24] U
    She just passed out a little.
[09:26] K
    What did you do, though?! And wait...
[09:28] K
    You opened your eyes!
[09:30] U
    Shh, Seri-kun!
[09:32] U
    People will catch on to my plan.
SIGN    A
    w
    a
    r
    d
[09:37] Teacher
    We're number one!
[09:39] Teacher
    You did it, guys!
[09:41] K
    After that, Mogami-san just got up,
[09:41] K
    For real?
[09:43] ---
    I can't believe it.
[09:44] ---
    That's kinda amazing!
[09:44] ---
    came to our café, and then didn't leave.
[09:47] K
    What was that?
[09:48] U
    A peaceful way for us to win!
[09:51] K
    Was it some kind of mind control?
[09:53] K
    Isn't that going too far?
[09:55] U
    You've got it all wrong.
[09:58] U
    She acted of her own free will.
[10:00] U
    It was simply foreordained.
[10:03] U
    It was the will of the universe.
[10:03] Class
    Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
[10:05] K
    Sounds like bullshit.
[10:07] K
    He really will do whatever it takes.
[10:09] K
    I hope I never make an enemy of him...
[10:11] H
    What's wrong, Gestöber?
[10:13] H
    We won, but you still look so down.
[10:16] K
    I guess it's fine.
[10:19] K
    But in the end, I never did get
    to see Sumiso-san in cat ears.
[10:23] K
    I'm just tired.
[10:25] H
    I see.
[10:27] H
    You really worked hard, Gestöber.
[10:29] H
    Good work.
[10:31] H
    Good boy.
[10:37] H
    Gestöber.
[10:39] Suzuran
    Don't copy Utsugi-sama!
[10:39] K
    What are you doing?!
[10:42] M
    What's the meaning of this, Suzuran?
[10:44] Suzuran
    Utsugi-sama...
[10:45] U
    Huh?
[10:47] ---
    The hypnosis should've worn off by now.
[10:50] K
    Hey! So it really was hypnosis?!
[10:52] Suzuran
    I saw the universe in your eyes.
[10:57] Suzuran
    It was endlessly vast and deep.
[10:59] Suzuran
    Everything was there.
[11:00] Suzuran
    Even the darkness of my heart
     was turned toward good.
[11:04] M
    That's rare.
[11:05] M
    My sister doesn't like anyone,
    but she's sure taken to you.
[11:09] Suzuran
    Oh, I didn't see you there, Onii-sama.
[11:12] M
    Tsukimiya-dono,
[11:13] ---
    you may call me your
    older brother if you wish.
[11:17] K
    For once, Tsukimiya-kun
    doesn't know what to do.
[11:19] K
    I hope this teaches you a lesson!
[11:21] K
    ...is what I couldn't help thinking.
[11:26] H
    Look! Here's yours, Gestöber!
[11:28] K
    I'm not going!
[11:31] H
    Gestöber!
[11:33] H
    Let me go!
[11:33] K
    Today's the post-festival party.
[11:34] Teacher
    Get back here!
[11:36] H
    Gestöber, this candy will soothe your throat.
[11:39] H
    Make sure you're ready for this.
[11:41] K
    Why is he taking this so seriously?
[11:43] M
    I'm so excited!
[11:45] H
    My duet with Gestöber will heal some
    of the darkness in Miguel's heart!
[11:49] M
    I'll have him crack my head open
    with my own personal bowling ball!
[11:53] K
    You guys sure are well-prepared!
[11:55] K
    If you want to sing, go sing with Dead Bull.
[11:58] K
    Weirdo.
[12:02] K
    It's a little late to be asking,
[12:03] ---
    but why is Hanadori-kun so obsessed with me?
[12:06] U
    Come now, Seri-kun-sensei.
[12:09] U
    Your protégés are waiting.
[12:11] K
    I'm not going.
[12:12] U
    What? If you came, I was going to give you
     a video of Sumiso-san with cat ears.
[12:17] K
    Fine, I'll go!
SIGN    House of Coffins
[12:19] K
    So I ended up coming, but...
[12:24] K
    Why is Mogami's sister here?
[12:27] Suzuran
    Prettying yourself up
    and pretending to be happy
[12:30] ---
    to get back at your ex is like announcing
    to the world that you're miserable.
[12:36] Suzuran
    If you really were happy,
    there'd be no need to show him that.
[12:39] Suzuran
    Just so we're clear, this isn't fortune-telling.
[12:42] Suzuran
    It's just what my eyes are telling me.
[12:44] Suzuran
    Any time you're putting on an act,
[12:46] ---
    it's because things aren't that way in reality.
[12:48] Suzuran
    Am I right, Koyuki Seri and his merry band?
[12:52] K
    Please don't act like I'm
    the poster child example.
[12:55] K
    And what kind of act are you guys putting on?!
[12:57] Suzuran
    Where is Utsugi-sama?
[12:59] K
    Tsukimiya-kun should be around...
[13:01] K
    Huh?
[13:02] K
    He was just here.
[13:05] Suzuran
    I was told that when I wish
    to speak with Utsugi-sama,
[13:07] ---
    I need to go through you.
[13:09] K
    What? Nobody told me that!
[13:09] Suzuran
    Don't screw it up, flunky.
[13:12] U
    Do your best to take care of everyone,
    Seri-kun-sensei!
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN    I'll send you that
     cat ears video later!
[13:15] ---
    You bastard...
[13:17] Suzuran
    I'd like to discuss the mysteries of life
     and the universe with Utsugi-sama,
[13:22] Suzuran
    but he always hides himself away.
[13:25] Suzuran
    So help me find him, Koyuki Seri.
[13:29] K
    It's really not my problem...
[13:31] H
    Hey!
[13:32] H
    Gestöber's going to do a duet with me!
[13:35] K
    Nope.
[13:37] Student
    Whose turn is it?
[13:39] H
    This is for my partner, Gestöber!
[13:42] H
    "Friends Forever"!
SIGN    Lyrics
SIGN    Comp.
SIGN    FRIENDS FOREVER
[13:45] K
    That's a real song?! Please stop!
[13:48] Student
    Gestöber? You sing, too!
[13:51] K
    Please stop...
[13:52] Student
    Sing!
[13:53] H
    Gestöber, will you sing? Here.
SIGN    Comrades Comrades
[13:58] Suzuran
    I'm sorry, but I'm in a hurry.
[14:02] Suzuran
    Koyuki Seri is coming with
    me to look for Utsugi-sama.
[14:05] Suzuran
    Goodbye.
[14:06] K
    Huh? W-W-Wait!
[14:08] K
    Why does everybody grab me by the belt?
[14:12] M
    I-I'm sorry, Koyukichi-dono!
[14:15] M
    My sister's being so selfish.
[14:17] Suzuran
    Only because you're
    worthless as shit, Onii-sama.
[14:19] K
    That's really mean.
[14:22] M
    Koyukichi-dono, feel free
    to insult me as she does.
[14:26] K
    What are you happy about, Onii-sama?
[14:28] Suzuran
    Where did you go, Utsugi-sama?
[14:30] Suzuran
    You must be in the building...
[14:31] H
    G-Gestöber!
[14:33] K
    Hanadori-ku—
[14:35] H
    K-Karaoke?
[14:36] K
    Huh?
[14:37] Suzuran
    He's bad at dealing with girls,
    but he still tries his best.
[14:40] Suzuran
    You don't seem to have
     realized it, so I'll explain.
[14:43] Suzuran
    Hanadori Kabuto,
    Koyuki Seri doesn't like you.
[14:47] Suzuran
    He thinks you're an idiot.
[14:48] ---
    And he's sick of you.
[14:50] Suzuran
    I don't know what that act
    of yours is supposed to be,
[14:54] ---
    but if you're not willing to
    commit to it, then give it up.
[14:56] Suzuran
    Knowing all this, if you still
    wish to hang out with him,
[14:58] Suzuran
    then you should reconsider how you act.
[15:01] K
    W-Wait, Mogami-san!
[15:06] K
    You didn't have to come
    out and say it like that!
[15:08] Suzuran
    You know it was bothering you, though.
[15:10] Suzuran
    Yet you spoil him anyway.
[15:11] Suzuran
    Are you just pretending to be a good person?
[15:13] Suzuran
    Or does it not actually bother you that much...
[15:16] ---
    being "Gestöber"?
[15:18] K
    That's not it at all, but...
[15:20] Suzuran
    Go search all the men's restrooms
    in the building, please.
[15:23] K
    It's impossible!
[15:24] K
    If he's seriously trying to hide,
    we'll never find him.
[15:28] Suzuran
    Oh? You've submitted to him
    quite a bit, haven't you?
[15:33] K
    What about you?
[15:34] ---
    You said you were going to
    ignore him, but you aren't.
[15:37] Suzuran
    Indeed.
[15:38] ---
    More than anything, I hated
    men like him who sit back
[15:41] ---
    and laugh at everyone else from above.
[15:44] Suzuran
    But looking into his eyes, I understood.
[15:46] Suzuran
    There is no above or below, nor good or evil.
[15:49] Suzuran
    There is, however, everything.
[15:51] Suzuran
    The heart of the universe
    that engulfs everything.
[15:54] Suzuran
    Within its hands, which forgave my foolishness,
[15:57] ---
    I am but a plaything.
[16:02] Suzuran
    Most people make that face when I talk.
[16:06] Suzuran
    That face that says,
[16:08] ---
    "I'm the only normal person in this freak show."
[16:11] Suzuran
    If you really are the sane one,
[16:13] ---
    then it's better for them if you make
    yourself clear and push them away
[16:17] ---
    rather than playing the victim.
[16:19] ---
    The one people have mistaken for
    a good guy, Koyuki Seri, is you.
[16:23] Suzuran
    Wh-What?!
[16:25] (Flashback) Flashback
    You're bothering me.
[16:25] Suzuran
    But... But...
[16:27] (Flashback) Flashback
    Never talk to me again.
[16:27] K
    When I tell him he's bothering me,
    he just swoons!
SIGN    Tremble
SIGN    Tremble
SIGN    Tremble
[16:30] K
    But then sometimes he cries!
[16:30] Flashback
    This stupid thing!
[16:31] K
    I mean, yeah, maybe I'm trying to
    come across as the good guy, but...
[16:36] H
    Gestöber!
[16:37] K
    Fine!
[16:39] ---
    You're bothering me,
[16:42] ---
    so I'm not staying here with you anymore.
[16:50] M
    K-Koyukichi-dono, I apologize again.
[16:53] M
    My sister is a bit of a nasty girl,
    sure, but it's all my fault.
[16:57] M
    Please scold me!
[16:59] K
    No, I'm fine.
[17:01] K
    What Mogami-san says is probably right.
[17:05] K
    But... I wonder why...
[17:07] M
    You're wondering about Suzuran?
[17:09] K
    No, about Hanadori-kun.
[17:11] K
    Why me, I mean.
[17:14] K
    At first, I guess he thought
    I wanted a friend like him.
[17:20] K
    Then Tsukimiya-kun said
    something about our past lives.
[17:24] H
    Gestöber! Gestöber!
[17:24] K
    But is that really enough to explain
     why he likes me so much?
[17:30] K
    It shouldn't need to be me.
[17:32] K
    There must be other people he could
    get along with better, you know?
[17:36] K
    Not that it really matters, though, right?
[17:39] M
    I think I somewhat understand how he feels.
[17:46] U
    Oh, you're back, Seri-kun!
[17:48] Married Wife
    See you later, Utsugi-chan!
[17:48] K
    Ts-Tsukimiya-kun!
[17:50] K
    What were you doing in there?
[17:51] U
    Forget that, Seri-kun.
[17:53] U
    Hanadori left already.
SIGN    House of Coffins
[18:03] K
    Wait, wait, wait! Where am I going?
[18:06] K
    If I go after him now,
    it'll end up like last time...
[18:08] K
    That's right!
[18:09] ---
    It'll be like every other time
    I got worried for nothing!
[18:11] (Flashback) H
    What's wrong, Gestöber?
[18:13] (Flashback) H
    Did you want to walk Cerberus with me?
[18:15] K
    I'll want to hit him,
    'cause I'm sure that's what he'll say!
[18:18] K
    But...
[18:19] (Flashback) Suzuran
    And he's sick of you.
[18:22] K
    I did feel that way...
[18:24] K
    But I didn't want to say it.
[18:27] K
    Maybe I was wrong.
[18:32] K
    When did I get all the way out here?
[18:34] K
    What am I doing?
[18:38] H
    C'mon, cut that out!
[18:39] K
    There he is!
[18:40] K
    He really was playing with Cerberus!
[18:43] K
    I'll just go home.
[18:45] K
    What a waste of a day.
[18:47] H
    Hey, Cerberus, would you hear me out?
[18:50] H
    It wasn't me who saved you the first time.
[18:53] ---
    It was Gestöber.
[18:57] H
    It was on a drizzly morning...
[19:10] (Flashback) K
    I don't think I can take care of you,
    so I'm not going to look at you.
[19:13] (Flashback) K
    I'll feel sorry for you if I do.
[19:15] ---
    The cool-headed Koyuki-kun told a lie! Wow!
[19:17] K
    That's so cliché!
[19:18] K
    Wait, did that happen?
[19:20] ---
    Maybe it did...
[19:22] K
    Was that Cerberus?
[19:23] K
    Also, don't make up my dialogue.
[19:26] K
    I definitely didn't say it that way!
[19:28] H
    He's so nice, that Gestöber!
[19:30] H
    And you know what else?
[19:32] H
    When we were deciding on the class rep...
[19:35] (Flashback) K
    Fine. I guess someone's gotta do it.
[19:37] (Flashback) ---
    You're so cool!
[19:38] K
    I did not say that!
[19:39] K
    I'm starting to worry about
    how Hanadori-kun sees me.
[19:40] H
    Good boy! Good boy!
[19:43] H
    So, you see,
[19:44] ---
    I was really happy to get back
    my old relationship with him.
[19:49] H
    Although he may actually hate me.
[19:52] H
    Maybe we aren't friends forever.
[19:54] K
    That's right.
[19:56] K
    It's all just a fantasy.
[19:58] Suzuran
    It's better if you make yourself
    clear and push them away.
[20:03] K
    Hanadori-kun.
[20:05] H
    G-Gestöber?
[20:08] K
    I know I've said this plenty of times,
[20:11] K
    but my name isn't Gestöber.
[20:14] ---
    It's Koyuki Seri.
[20:16] K
    I don't fight anything,
    and we're not comrades in arms.
[20:19] H
    Gestöb—
[20:19] K
    But...
[20:21] K
    If you'll just call me by my name,
[20:23] ---
    I think we can be normal
    classmates together... probably.
[20:29] K
    Thanks for the candy.
[20:34] K
    Oh, and we're going bowling now.
[20:36] K
    If you leave, we won't have
    enough people to form teams.
[20:39] H
    Okay, got it.
[20:41] H
    U-Um, thank you, Gest—
[20:44] H
    No, um... I mean... K-K-Ko...
[20:47] H
    Koyuki!
SIGN    SMASH!
[20:52] K
    That's creepy! Just call me Gestöber!
[21:01] Teacher
    Why are you both soaked?
[21:05] K
    What am I doing?!
[21:07] K
    Nothing's changed at all!
[21:09] Suzuran
    Koyuki Seri is a failure of a man,
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:12] ---
    more influenced by his
    emotions than I thought.
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    Current Turn: Koyuki
[21:14] M
    That's part of what makes him special.
[21:17] Hanadori(Background)
    Gestöber said I can call him Gestöber!
[21:17] Suzuran
    And Hanadori Kabuto...
[21:19] Hanadori(Background)
    And that he'll never leave my side!
[21:20] Suzuran
    He pushes, pushes, pushes, pushes,
     and then suddenly pulls.
[21:21] Teacher
    Did he? That's nice.
[21:23] Suzuran
    He seems to assume by default
    that others love him.
[21:25] Hanadori(Background)
    Maybe I'll try calling him Koyuki again!
[21:26] Suzuran
    He's more impish than I thought...
[21:29] ---
    and more of a puppy.
[21:30] U
    It's more like Seri-kun is just
    too much of a pushover.
[21:35] U
    I'm so happy!
[21:36] U
    He'll dance for me now without
    me having to intervene at all.
[21:39] Tokimune
    Miguel is an angel... and a little devil.
SIGN    Here's the video
    I promised to send you.
[23:15] K
    Thus the culture festival came to an end,
[23:17] ---
    and I calmed my soul by watching
    Sumiso-san dance in cat ears...
[23:20] K
    Which one is Sumiso-san?
    Those aren't the right cat ears!
[23:25] H
    H-How did Menukoroirya
    become a moe character?
[23:28] K
    You made Tsukimiya-kun the
    chief animation director.
[23:30] H
    Damn! Her bo— They're shaking!
[23:32] H
    I just wanted Menukoroirya's butt to shake!
[23:35] H
    I'll have to add a chief
    animation director supervisor!

Season 1

E8 - SWEET HEART MEMORY

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] H
    My right eye pains me so...
[00:06] H
    Miguel's power grows stronger by the day.
[00:10] H
    But I must complete the project!
[00:15] H
    Lend me your aid...
[00:16] ---
    Lend me your aid, Gestöber!
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    School Results
SIGN    Koyuki Seri
SIGN    Usami Cultural Posei U. Ichiyukimon U. Monokidokoro Bunkyo U.
SIGN    Doomed Screwed Rekt Failed
SIGN    Delusion 8
[01:58] K
    This is because of all the
    time I spent with them!
[02:00] K
    But that's over now!
    I'll never react to them again!
[02:03] H
    Check it out, Gestöber!
[02:06] K
    I'll never react to their crap again.
[02:08] K
    I'll just swat any flies I see.
[02:10] U
    Didn't that count as reacting, Seri-kun?
[02:13] K
    Yeah, yeah. I know, I know.
[02:16] K
    Every time I've said I'll never
    call out Hanadori-kun again,
[02:19] K
    it doesn't work out.
[02:21] K
    But...
SIGN    How to Talk to People
[02:22] ---
    How to Keep
    Any Schedule
[02:22] ---
    After all the studying I've
    been doing for my tests,
[02:25] ---
    I've learned to develop
    my latent subconscious.
[02:28] U
    Are you waiting for someone
    to call you out, Seri-kun?
[02:30] K
    I'm redefining what it means
    to call someone out!
SIGN    School
    Newspaper
SIGN    Student Council
     Elections
[02:32] H
    I, Sturmhut, am running for
    student council president!
[02:35] H
    Look! Check it out, Gestöber!
[02:38] K
    Not a word from me. Do whatever you want.
SIGN    How to Talk to People
[02:41] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
SIGN    Mogami
    Kimikage
[02:43] M
    I heard Kabu-dono was running,
    so I entered the race, as well.
[02:47] M
    What a terrible sin!
    Must I be punished for it?
[02:48] K
    Not a word from me.
[02:49] U
    Since there were so many entrants,
     I joined in too, just for fun!
[02:54] Girls
    Tsukimiya Utsugi!
    Please vote for Tsukimiya Utsugi!
[02:56] K
    Not a word...
[02:57] Hibiki
    I'm only a first-year, but I'm running, too.
[03:00] Hibiki
    I'm hoping I can support
    Miguel-senpai's campaign.
[03:03] H
    Oh, Helius! That's so nice of you!
[03:05] K
    Not a single word out of m—
[03:07] U
    Oh! And of course, I entered you too, Seri-kun!
SIGN    I'm running!
SIGN    I'm running!
SIGN    I'm running!
SIGN    I'm running!
SIGN    Seri Koyuki
SIGN    Seri Koyuki
SIGN    Seri Koyuki
[03:10] U
    Look!
[03:11] U
    I put up all these posters!
SIGN    Seri Koyuki
[03:14] H
    Gestöber!
[03:14] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
SIGN    I'm running!
[03:18] K
    The date: just before the
    student council election.
SIGN    Koyuki Seri
[03:22] K
    Damn it all!
[03:23] K
    I don't have time to be
    on the student council.
[03:27] K
    Damn it...
SIGN    Science Room
[03:28] K
    How can I get some time to myself?
[03:31] K
    How can I get some peace?
[03:33] K
    I know!
[03:34] ---
    I'll just poison them.
[03:35] K
    Enough to knock them out for a week.
[03:38] Suzuran
    Where is Utsugi-sama?
[03:40] Suzuran
    What are you doing, Koyuki Seri?
[03:42] K
    What was I doing, actually?
[03:45] Suzuran
    You seem quite troubled.
[03:47] Suzuran
    That's why I warned you.
[03:49] K
    Shut up.
[03:50] Suzuran
    If you can't do anything on your own,
     ask Utsugi-sama for help.
SIGN    The Truth of the Universe
[03:55] K
    What? I can't do that.
SIGN    The Truth of the Universe
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[03:58] K
    He gets off on seeing me miserable.
[04:01] Suzuran
    Have you ever actually asked him?
[04:03] Suzuran
    Or are you just making assumptions?
[04:05] K
    Well...
[04:07] Suzuran
    Get down on your knees and lick his boots.
[04:09] K
    No way in hell!
[04:12] Suzuran
    Now, let's go.
[04:13] ---
    Jeez...
[04:21] Suzuran
    Climb up and get this poster, Koyuki Se—
[04:26] Suzuran
    Oh?
[04:28] U
    I hear you've come to lick my boots...
[04:33] U
    All joking aside... Sure, I'll help you out.
[04:37] U
    I can just tell Hanadori-kun that you
    weren't brothers in arms in a past life.
[04:40] K
    Wait, for real?
[04:41] U
    You sure that's what you want, though?
[04:43] U
    He might take it pretty hard.
[04:45] K
    Well, that was your fault to begin with...
[04:48] H
    Gestöber!
[04:49] H
    Hey! I need your help with something!
[04:52] H
    Gestöber!
[04:53] U
    See? He's calling for you now.
[04:55] U
    And I know you won't
    have the heart to tell him.
[04:55] H
    Hey! Where are you?
[04:58] K
    I-I will, too!
[04:59] K
    I don't care what kind of
    life Hanadori-kun lives,
[05:02] ---
    but I have my own future.
[05:04] K
    So I need him to accept that...
[05:07] U
    So you see, Hanadori,
[05:09] ---
    Seri-kun hasn't the slightest
    intention of helping you, he says.
[05:13] K
    H-Hanadori-kun?
[05:15] K
    He froze. What should I do?
[05:17] U
    Listen, Hanadori.
[05:19] ---
    Seri-kun isn't the Hierophant of Ice.
[05:22] U
    He's the one who sealed Miguel within you...
[05:26] ---
    Gestöber, the Director of Darkness!
[05:31] U
    He's the cause of all your suffering!
[05:35] K
    You cunning asshole!
[05:36] K
    I really thought you were going to help!
[05:38] K
    You're the cause of all my suffering!
[05:41] H
    Th-That's impossible!
[05:43] H
    Tsukimiya, you're a liar!
[05:47] K
    Hanadori-kun...
[05:50] K
    There sure are a lot of candidates.
[05:51] K
    Why did he believe Tsukimiya
    when he told him
[05:53] ---
    we were brothers in arms, but not now?
SIGN    Student Council Election Speeches
[06:00] Teacher
    The candidates for student council
    will now give their speeches.
[06:05] K
    U-Um, I withdrew from the race.
[06:08] K
    Why am I here?
[06:09] U
    Oh, who cares, Seri-kun?
[06:11] ---
    It's more fun this way.
[06:12] U
    Right, Hanadori?
[06:16] U
    Oh, dear...
[06:18] K
    Hanadori-kun must've taken it pretty hard.
[06:21] ---
    He's been really quiet the past few days.
[06:24] K
    He hasn't been bothering me like usual,
    and he's been avoiding Tsukimiya-kun, too.
[06:28] K
    He hasn't been shouting "Gwah!"
    in the middle of class, either.
[06:32] K
    I know this is what I wanted,
    but it's still somehow...
[06:35] K
    No, this isn't quite what I wanted.
[06:38] Teacher
    Student council president candidate
    Hanadori Kabuto-kun of Class 2-3.
[06:41] K
    What did he want my help with, anyway?
[06:54] Students
    Isn't that the dark god of destruction?
[06:57] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai...
[06:59] K
    Hanadori-kun?
[07:03] H
    I wanted to change things
    here at this school.
[07:08] H
    I wanted to make it a place for those
     who've lost sight of their goals.
[07:12] H
    For those who aren't confident they
    can be the people they want to be.
[07:15] H
    For those who are so awkward
    that things never work out.
[07:18] H
    A place where everyone can strive
    to be who they want to be.
[07:21] H
    A place where we can all be friends.
[07:24] K
    Huh? He's actually sounding normal.
[07:27] K
    What happened to Hanadori-kun?
[07:29] K
    Did the shock ruin his act?
[07:31] H
    But I couldn't bring about
    this utopia on... my own...
[07:40] K
    He's back to his old self.
[07:43] H
    I can feel it, Sturmhut...
[07:45] H
    The darkness in your heart.
[07:47] K
    What happened to you?
[07:49] K
    Why are you bringing out Miguel
    in front of the school?
[07:51] H
    Stop it, Miguel!
[07:52] H
    I haven't given up yet!
[07:54] K
    You're not gonna be
    student council president now!
SIGN    S H O C K
[08:06] K
    Yeah, of course they're all slack-jawed.
[08:08] K
    What are you doing?
    What are you thinking, Hanadori-kun?
[08:11] K
    I'm not saying a word to you, though!
[08:13] H
    Gestöber!
[08:14] H
    I don't know how much longer
    I can hold Miguel back.
[08:18] H
    So before that happens, tell me...
[08:21] H
    Are you Gestöber, Hierophant of Ice,
[08:24] H
    or Gestöber, Director of Darkness?
[08:27] H
    Who will you choose, Sturmhut or Miguel?
[08:31] H
    Show me your answer with your vote!
SIGN    Miguel
SIGN    Sturmhut
[08:34] K
    They're both you!
[08:37] K
    This is stupid!
[08:38] ---
    How come I don't get a real vote?
[08:40] K
    Why am I only allowed to vote for you?
[08:42] K
    Look at how everybody's whispering!
[08:44] ---
    Now cut it out and...
[08:46] K
    Crap.
[08:51] K
    Hanadori-kun!
[08:52] K
    Oh, no! Did I hit him too hard?
[08:56] K
    No, this is just part of the act, right?
[08:59] K
    Hana—
[09:03] HIbiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[09:03] U
    Hanadori!
[09:04] M
    Kabu-dono, wake up!
[09:05] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, wake up!
[09:08] U
    Hanadori! Hanadori!
[09:10] K
    Hanadori-kun?
[09:14] K
    In those days, the dark god of
    destruction was always by my side.
[09:20] K
    I was always so busy
    thinking about tomorrow
[09:24] ---
    that I didn't understand the guy who
    always treated me like an old friend.
[09:27] K
    I didn't know what to do.
[09:31] K
    And then I caused a terrible tragedy.
[09:36] K
    I'm sorry, Hanadori-kun.
[09:38] K
    Only after losing you do I understand...
[09:41] K
    You are my dearest friend!
[09:43] K
    Knock it the hell off!
SIGN    S
SIGN    H
SIGN    O
SIGN    C
SIGN    K
SIGN    Student Council Election Speeches
[09:50] Nurse
    He's fine. Just sleeping.
[09:52] Nurse
    Not sure if it was stress or lack of sleep, but he was pretty exhausted.
[09:55] Nurse
    Then he hit his head
    and it knocked him out.
[09:58] Nurse
    Maybe he just worked that hard on his speech.
[10:05] K
    It feels like he was actually
    really serious about it.
[10:08] K
    Why did he care so much?
[10:13] K
    H-Hanadori-kun!
[10:14] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, I'm so glad you're awake!
[10:18] Hibiki
    Do you hurt anywhere?
[10:24] H
    U-Um...
[10:25] H
    I'm sorry, but where are my glasses?
[10:30] H
    Without my glasses...
[10:32] ---
    I can't really see out of my right eye.
[10:34] K
    What's gotten into him?
[10:36] K
    His glasses?
[10:37] K
    He can't see out his right eye
    because of his eyepatch!
[10:41] H
    Oh, here they are!
[10:42] K
    Don't take the nurse's!
[10:44] H
    Good.
[10:46] ---
    Now I'm back to normal.
[10:48] H
    Without my glasses, I'm just not myself.
[10:51] K
    You're hardly yourself right now.
[10:54] K
    What's gotten into you?
[10:55] K
    You're wearing glasses over an eyepatch.
[10:58] K
    Are you okay?
[10:59] K
    What happened?
[11:01] U
    Hanadori, do you know who this is?
[11:10] H
    What's wrong?
[11:12] H
    Your hair's sticking up.
[11:13] H
    Want to borrow my conditioner?
[11:16] K
    I will kill you.
[11:17] K
    You're what's wrong!
[11:19] K**
    What's with this new act?
[11:20] K
    I don't get it at all!
[11:22] Hibiki
    M-Miguel-senpai, are you sure
    you didn't hit your head?
[11:27] H
    Who is this person? He's scary!
[11:29] H
    That outfit! That frightening weapon!
[11:32] H
    He's not normal!
[11:34] Hibiki
    N-No...
[11:38] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, you jerk!
[11:41] K
    He's turned into a real god of destruction...
[11:44] K
    Hibiki-kun!
[11:45] H
    What's going on? I'm really scared.
[11:49] M
    Have you grown out of your
    beep-boop talk, Kabu-dono?
[11:53] M
    Good to see.
[11:54] ---
    You're in high school now
    and far too old for that.
[11:58] H
    I don't understand why I'm hearing this
[11:59] ---
    from a boy who wears a cape and
    a scary Japanese mask to school.
[12:04] H
    Aren't you embarrassed?
[12:05] K
    He said it to his face!
[12:07] K
    Hanadori-kun, what's gotten into you?
[12:10] M
    I-I didn't get my laundry done, so I'm just
    wearing some old clothes... That's all.
[12:15] K
    I'm calling bullshit.
[12:16] K
    You're both embarrassing
    as far as I'm concerned.
[12:19] U
    Maybe he has amnesia?
[12:22] U
    Seri-kun hit him in the head
    with a microphone, right?
[12:26] U
    Maybe the impact did it.
[12:27] K
    Th-That can't be!
[12:29] K
    He was just fine after a crash
    that knocked me clean out.
SIGN    Slam
[12:33] U
    But you know, he wasn't feeling well today.
[12:37] U
    Maybe getting hit again
    will turn him back to normal.
[12:41] K
    And what's that you're doing? A warm-up?
[12:43] U
    Hanadori,
[12:44] ---
    do you not even remember Miguel,
    the dark god of destruction?
[12:48] H
    Dark god...?
[12:50] ---
    Is that some kind of religion? Scary!
[12:52] U
    I knew it.
[12:53] U
    What's gotten into you, Hanadori?
[12:55] H
    U-Um, you keep talking
    like we know each other...
[12:59] H
    But who are you?
[13:01] H
    How do you walk around
    with your eyes shut like that?
[13:04] H
    And that smile is frightening,
    like it's frozen on your face.
[13:08] U
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
[13:10] U
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
[13:11] ---
    Tsukimiya-kun!
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
[13:12] U
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
    What's wrong, Hanadori?
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    SLAP
SIGN    S L A P
[13:15] U
    Now do you remember who
    you just spoke out against?
[13:20] H
    Awful! Scary! How barbaric!
[13:24] H
    Are all the students at this school like that?
[13:27] H
    That's right... The student council!
[13:29] H
    I wanted to be on the student council...
[13:32] H
    to make this a better school!
[13:34] H
    That's why I...
[13:35] K
    Did he remember?
[13:37] H
    That's right.
[13:38] ---
    Even the most worthless
    of lives still has value.
[13:40] H
    Even people like them are
    still students of this school.
[13:45] H
    I have to do something!
[13:46] H
    I have a lot to do, so I'll be going!
[13:50] K
    Who are you calling worthless?!
[13:52] U
    That didn't work.
[13:54] U
    But he was talking about wanting to
    change the school during his speech, too.
[13:58] U
    He must've really wanted to do something.
SIGN    The Next Day
[14:02] H
    Um... Attention, everyone.
[14:05] H
    I'm sorry for surprising you
    during my speech yesterday.
[14:08] H
    I was a little too tense.
[14:12] H
    As I said yesterday,
[14:13] ---
    I want to make this school
    a better place for everyone.
[14:13] Teacher
    That's Hanadori, isn't it?
[14:16] H
    I want you all to make good memories here.
[14:20] U
    That's not my Hanadori at all.
[14:23] U
    It's boring.
[14:24] U
    He received a new destiny as Sturmhut,
    but he still won't believe it.
[14:32] K
    Maybe he's happier this way.
[14:36] K
    It's perfect for me that he's avoiding me, but...
[14:41] K
    That's exactly what I wanted, but...
[14:43] K
    If he lost his memory because of me...
[14:46] K
    That just doesn't feel right.
[14:49] U
    So you're lonely too, huh?
[14:52] K
    N-No!
[14:53] K
    Don't steal my lunch!
[14:55] K
    Also...
SIGN    M u m b l e
SIGN    M
    u
    m
    b
    l
    e
[14:56] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, you're terrible.
[14:58] Hibiki
    Why?
[15:00] ---
    You told me to do what I wanted to do.
[15:02] Hibiki
    I admired you so much.
[15:05] Hibiki
    So why...
[15:06] ---
    Why do you think that is, Gestöber-senpai?
SIGN    Mumble
SIGN    Mumble
SIGN    Mumble
SIGN    Mumble
SIGN    Mumble
SIGN    Mumble
[15:09] Hibiki
    Tell me.
[15:10] Hibiki
    Tell me... Why?
SIGN    Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

SIGN    Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

[15:12] Hibiki
    Why? Why? Why?
[15:12] K
    Scary... Hibiki-kun, you're being scary!
[15:19] M
    Kabu-dono seems to have dropped out.
[15:22] M
    How long will he last?
[15:25] M
    Not that it's my problem.
[15:26] M
    Now, Koyukichi-dono,
[15:28] ---
    scold me for wearing
    my old clothes yesterday.
[15:32] M
    While the oni's away, the mice will play.
[15:34] K
    You're the oni!
[15:35] K
    Knock it off with the sword and
    the heart eyes! Stay in character!
[15:43] K
    Sure, I don't want anything to do with him...
[15:46] H
    How barbaric!
[15:49] K
    I'm not lonely. I'm mad!
[15:52] K
    Yeah, maybe this is my fault,
[15:54] K
    but why do I have to feel bad on his part?
SIGN    Grrr
    
    Grrr
[15:56] K
    He's the barbaric one...
[15:58] ---
    always raging on about
    "Gestöber this" and "Gestöber that"!
[16:01] (Flashback) H
    Check it out, Gestöber!
[16:03] (Flashback) H
    I need your help with something! Gestöber!
[16:07] K
    What was so important to him?
[16:11] K
    Hanadori-kun?!
[16:13] Boy
    The dark god of destruction,
    Miguel, has revived!
[16:15] Boy
    Oh, damn! He's back!
SIGN    G r r r r r
[16:18] Boy
    So what does Miguel do then?
[16:19] Boy
    Revives the darkness, maybe?
[16:21] Boy
    What does that even mean?
[16:24] K
    Jeez! I thought he'd gotten his memory back!
[16:27] Boy
    Hey, it's the former Miguel!
[16:29] Boy
    Why are you so serious all of a sudden?
[16:32] Boy
    Worried about what people think?
    Seems a little late for that.
[16:35] H
    Wh-Who are you people?
[16:37] Boy
    I took Miguel from you, actually.
[16:41] Boy
    You gave up the act, so you don't
    need that eyepatch anymore, right?
[16:44] Boy
    Give it to me! I need to seal away Miguel!
[16:47] H
    Why am I even wearing this?
[16:49] Boy
    Who cares? You forgot, right?
[16:53] H
    If you want it, you can have it.
[16:56] Boy
    Seriously?
[17:00] Boy
    What are you doing?
[17:01] H
    W-Well...
[17:03] ---
    I don't need it, but I just can't
    give it up for some reason.
[17:06] Boy
    What is that?
[17:07] ---
    Your new backstory?
[17:09] H
    Why? I can't remember...
[17:12] H
    Maybe it was really expensive!
[17:14] H
    Like 8,500 yen?
[17:16] ---
    You know that's wrong.
[17:16] H
    Or maybe it's part of an important memory...
[17:18] Boy
    Hey, your buddy's here!
[17:20] Boy
    Maybe he has some answers.
[17:23] Boy
    What's with Hanadori?
    He's acting weird today.
[17:25] Boy
    You're his buddy, right?
[17:27] ---
    You know, the one with the weird name...
[17:29] K
    I-I'm not his buddy.
[17:30] Boy
    Huh? That's a harsh thing to say to Miguel.
[17:34] Boy
    You mean the former Miguel.
[17:36] K
    No, Hanadori-kun's just ignoring me.
[17:39] K
    I'm sure now...
[17:52] K
    Hana...
[17:54] Boy
    Aww, you made him cry!
[17:57] H
    What? How odd...
[17:59] H
    Strange liquid is seeping from my eyes. Why?
[18:01] Boy
    Don't cry, former Miguel.
[18:04] K
    Because I said I wasn't his buddy?
[18:07] (Flashback) U
    Seri-kun is Gestöber, Director of Darkness!
[18:10] (Flashback) U
    He's the cause of all your suffering!
[18:12] (Flashback) H
    Tsukimiya, you're a liar!
[18:16] K
    Has that been bugging him this whole time?
[18:21] K
    I'm sick of this.
[18:23] K
    The little things, the things
    you have no evidence of...
[18:27] K
    Don't worry about all that stuff!
[18:29] K
    It's annoying when you keep
    obsessing over it and going crazy!
[18:32] K
    I'm not your buddy.
[18:35] K
    I hate to say it,
[18:36] ---
    but for a long time now,
     you and I have been...
[18:41] H
    No, I mean... We're not friends, right?
[18:44] H
    We just met yesterday.
[18:46] H
    And I don't want to be associated
    with people like you, I don't think...
SIGN    Smash!
[18:50] K
    Screw you!
[18:52] H
    My glasses!
[18:57] H
    That's so mean!
[18:59] H
    What was that for, Gestöber?
[19:01] H
    How could you do that to Sturmhut?
[19:03] H
    Jeez! I'm super mad, you hear me?
[19:07] H
    Just kidding!
[19:10] All
    H-He's back?
[19:12] H
    What's wrong, guys?
[19:14] H
    What's gotten into all of you?
[19:16] H
    Were you worried about me being down?
[19:19] Hibiki
    I'm so glad, Miguel-senpai!
[19:20] Hibiki
    It was all a misunderstanding, wasn't it?
[19:23] Hibiki
    As the grim reaper,
    I'll stay by your side forever!
[19:24] M
    How dull.
[19:30] K
    So what was that all about, anyway?
[19:33] K
    Can someone really change so much
    over losing a few memories?
[19:37] K
    What if he has another,
    weirder personality tomorrow?
[19:40] U
    Seri-kun, don't sweat the small stuff.
[19:44] K
    I wish you would worry a lot more.
[19:46] U
    Here. This is the student council
    plan Hanadori wrote up.
[19:49] U
    If you read it, you might understand
    what he wanted to talk to you about.
SIGN    Ask Gestöber for help
SIGN    Menukoroirya
SIGN    Mascot Character (Ask Tsukimiya?)
SIGN    Menukoroirya study group (somewhere)
SIGN    Japanese
SIGN    Friend-Making Support Group
SIGN    So that guys like Helius can make friends
SIGN    Wow!
SIGN    Mitoya
SIGN    (Gestöber)
SIGN    Lots of fun!!
SIGN    Amazing club activities (Ask Gestöber)
[20:00] K
    What was he worried about?
SIGN    ...wanted to lend(?) borrow. Gestöber is my enemy...? Is that really right? I don't know. It hurts... My head... But Gestöber is Gestöber. I know that he's kind.
[20:03] K
    I couldn't possibly help him with this.
[20:06] ---
    I've got my own problems!
SIGN    But Gestöber is Gestöber.
    I know that he's kind.
[20:13] K
    "If something happens to me,
    I know he'll help me again."
[20:17] ---
    "So if something's bothering Gestöber,
    I want to help him."
SIGN    Slam
[20:23] K
    You're what's bothering me! You!
[20:26] H
    Wh-What's wrong, Gestöber?
[20:29] H
    If you want to talk, I'm all ears.
[20:33] K
    But...
[20:38] K
    But I don't want the Hanadori-kun
    I know to just disappear.
[20:42] K
    In some weird way.
[20:45] K
    I'm relieved, but also disappointed.
[20:48] K
    But in any case,
[20:49] ---
    I'm sure things will be back
    to normal tomorrow.
[20:52] K
    Why don't you just forget everything, then?
[20:55] K
    All the yelling, all the anger...
[20:57] K
    I can poison you if you want!
SIGN    Nag
[21:01] Teacher
    Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!
    Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!
[21:01] K
    By the way, at the time,
    Mogami-kun's sister was...
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Yell
[22:36] Tokimune
    Too many people use the word
    "angel" as a generic complement.
[22:42] Tokimune
    You aren't angels.
[22:44] Tokimune
    The only angel is Miguel.
[22:48] Hibiki
    P-People sometimes tell me I'm an angel.
[22:51] K
    You're not supposed to say that yourself.
[22:53] Hibiki
    But it's absurd for a grim reaper like
    me to call himself an angel, right?
[22:57] Hibiki
    I wish I could disappear.
[22:59] M
    The only real angel is Koyukichi-dono.
[23:02] M
    No, he's less a messenger of god
     and more a bodhisattva.
[23:03] Hibiki
    Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
    Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
[23:08] K
    Bodhisattva!
[23:09] M
    Maybe he's more like a god.
[23:12] H
    I'm a god!
[23:13] SUzuran
    The only god is Utsugi-sama.
[23:15] K
    Sumiso-san is my goddess!
    An archangel!
[23:18] U
    Did you give up on yelling
    at people, Seri-kun?
[23:20] Hibiki
    Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
SIGN    Composite Processing Test
[23:25] H
    Impossible! How are we getting
    moe characters out of this?
[23:29] H
    What happened to my chief
    animation director supervisor?!
[23:31] K
    People like pretty girls more.
[23:33] K
    They sell better.
[23:35] H
    And you call yourself the director?!
[23:38] K
    Wait, I'm the director?!

Season 1

E9 - So Merry Christmas

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] U
    Come on, Hanadori. Get out of there already.
[00:04] U
    It's time to go teach the little kids.
[00:06] U
    Even you, a shy boy who's awkward around girls
    and covered in dark god of destruction juice,
[00:11] U
    should be able to handle some kids.
SIGN    Sigh
[00:14] H
    Must be nice to be the guy
     who got on the student council!
[00:18] H
    Life is so easy for you!
[00:21] K
    After all the chaos he caused,
[00:22] ---
    Hanadori-kun lost the student
    council elections miserably.
SIGN    S H O C K
[00:26] K
    The only new electee was Tsukimiya-kun,
    who became the council's auditor.
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN    The Truth of the Universe
[00:31] K
    Hanadori-kun's jealousy was a thing to behold.
[00:36] H
    I can feel it. Miguel's coming.
[00:38] H
    He's about to go out of control.
[00:40] H
    You guys are lucky.
[00:41] ---
    You can be on the student council because
    you don't have the world to protect.
[00:45] H
    Come on down here, Gestöber.
[00:48] H
    Ditch that jerk of a wannabe genius
    and we can make our own secret base.
[00:51] H
    Hey.
[00:52] M
    Come on out, Kabu-dono.
[00:54] M
    You're causing problems for Koyukichi-dono.
[00:56] K
    Good grief... I'd love to
    just leave him in there,
[01:00] K
    but since we're in the same group,
    I'll get in trouble if he doesn't do the work.
[01:04] Chi
    It's Miguel-oniichan!
[01:06] H
    You're...
[01:07] Chi
    You came to see me at my preschool?
[01:10] H
    Oh, you're the girl from the restaurant.
[01:12] H
    Have you been well?
[01:14] Chi
    Yup!
[01:15] Chi
    I was hoping I'd get to see you again!
[01:19] Chi
    Tell me all about hell, okay?
[01:21] Chi
    And let's eat lunch together!
[01:25] H
    Okay! Gather around, everyone!
[01:28] H
    Come play with Miguel-oniichan!
[01:31] K
    A complete 180!
[01:32] H
    Come play with Miguel-oniichan!
[01:33] K
    Now he's in a great mood.
[01:35] K
    Well, it's better than him pouting.
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
[03:09] K
    And so our day of helping out at the
    preschool got off to an... okay... start.
SIGN    Delusion 9
[03:15] Kids
    Let's play, Onii-chan!
[03:16] Kids
    Let's play!
[03:18] K
    What do I do?
[03:19] K
    I don't know how to talk to kids!
[03:21] U
    Hello there.
[03:23] U
    My name is Utsugi.
[03:25] Kid
    I'm Masato!
[03:26] U
    Masato-kun, huh?
[03:28] U
    That's a cool name.
[03:29] U
    Okay, let's go to the playroom.
[03:31] K
    I see!
[03:32] U
    Follow me!
[03:32] K
    First, you put yourself on their level...
[03:36] H
    I refuse to lose to Tsukimiya.
[03:38] K
    You're still mad about that?
[03:41] K
    Give it up and face facts.
[03:43] K
    You shouldn't act like that in front of kids.
[03:46] Kids
    Oh, wow!
[03:48] M
    Easy, right?
[03:50] Kids
    Yup!
[03:50] M
    Now you give it a try.
[03:53] Kids
    Even Mogami-kun the social
    reject is doing well...
[03:56] H
    I won't lose to Mogami, either!
[03:59] K
    Why, though?
[04:00] K
    He didn't get on the student council, either!
[04:02] Tanaka
    Hello!
[04:03] Tanaka
    Goodbye!
[04:03] Kids
    That's so neat!
[04:04] H
    Not Tanaka, either!
[04:05] K
    Who is Tanaka?!
[04:06] K
    Are you just mad at everyone?
[04:08] H
    So Tsukimiya headed to the playroom?
[04:10] H
    Let's follow him.
[04:11] H
    Heh heh heh!
[04:13] Kids
    Heh heh heh...
[04:14] K
    Is this okay?
[04:16] Teacher
    Oh, Koyuki-kun!
[04:18] Teacher
    Could you help me for a second?
SIGN    Home Ec Room
[04:23] K
    So I'm making the cakes?
[04:24] Teacher
    We're having a surprise party for the
    kids with December birthdays at lunch.
[04:29] Teacher
    I was hoping you could do the decorating
    and write little messages for them.
[04:33] K
    Th-That's a big job...
[04:35] K
    I've never done this before.
[04:37] Teacher
    Don't worry, don't worry!
[04:39] Teacher
    I'll help you.
[04:42] Kid
    Sensei!
[04:43] Teacher
    What's wrong, Takkun?
[04:44] Kid
    I'm not playing with Yu-kun anymore!
[04:46] Kid
    I hate him!
[04:49] Teacher
    Goodness... What happened?
[04:53] K
    It's hard being in preschool.
[04:55] K
    Was I like that?
[04:58] K
    Yeah, there's always fighting.
[04:58] H
    I'm never talking to you again! I hate you!
[05:00] K
    I remember "I'll never talk to you again!"
[05:02] H
    Listen to this, Gestöber!
[05:03] K
    It was you?!
[05:05] H
    Tsukimiya's a meanie!
[05:06] K
    Why are you so unstable?
[05:09] K
    What happened?
[05:10] H
    Tsukimiya is stealing away
    all my hopes and dreams!
[05:15] (Flashback) Chi
    Look! I can walk on stilts now!
[05:18] (Flashback) Chi
    You're amazing, Utsugi-oniichan!
[05:20] (Flashback) Chi
    I'm going to marry you!
[05:24] K
    Tsukimiya-kun, you didn't need to
    trample Hanadori-kun's pride like that...
[05:28] M
    You're a very noisy man.
[05:30] M
    How long have you even known Tsukimiya-dono?
[05:34] M
    If you can reject him so readily, Kabu-dono,
[05:37] M
    you'll never reach the heights that
    Koyukichi-dono and I have attained.
[05:41] K
    Sorry, I reject you, too.
[05:45] Teacher
    Now, now...
[05:47] Teacher
    Takkun, Hanadori-kun,
[05:49] Teacher
    we all have things we don't
    like about each other.
[05:52] Teacher
    But you know what makes your friends special
    better than anyone else, don't you?
[05:57] Teacher
    Remember how excited you were to make
    Yu-kun a surprise present for his birthday?
[06:03] Kid
    I don't wanna anymore.
[06:05] Teacher
    Do you remember the day you became friends?
[06:08] Teacher
    The first time he talked to you.
[06:11] Teacher
    The first time you went
    on adventures together.
[06:13] Teacher
    The first time you told someone,
    "He's my friend."
[06:18] Teacher
    Didn't that make you happy?
[06:20] Teacher
    Didn't everything seem bright and shiny?
[06:25] H
    I've known Tsukimiya since preschool.
[06:29] H
    The day I first met him...
[06:36] K
    You don't remember?!
[06:38] Teacher
    I don't know why you were fighting,
[06:42] Teacher
    but if you want to talk to him again,
[06:45] Teacher
    you just need a little bit of courage.
SIGN    Hijiri Preschool
SIGN    Hijiri
     Preschool
[06:51] (Flashback) ---
    Hey.
[06:52] (Flashback) U
    Are you just going to stand there
    until someone talks to you?
[06:57] (Flashback) U
    If you want to be friends with someone,
    say the words of courage.
[07:01] (Flashback) H
    "The words of courage!"
[07:02] (Flashback) U
    No, I mean...
[07:07] H
    My head...
[07:09] H
    Tsukimiya always understood me.
[07:12] H
    He was always there for young
    Sturmhut before he met Gestöber.
[07:20] (Flashback) U
    Are you okay, Hanadori?
SIGN    Shake
[07:21] (Flashback) ---
    Tsukimiya!
[07:22] (Flashback) U
    Are you okay, Hanadori?
SIGN    Shake
[07:25] (Flashback) U
    Listen. You have a special power.
[07:28] (Flashback) H
    Special power... awaken...
[07:30] (Flashback) U
    I'll do whatever Tsukimiya-kun tells me to!
[07:34] K
    You were brainwashed?
[07:36] H
    Then, in high school...
[07:38] (Flashback) U
    That guy, Koyuki Seri-kun,
    was your partner in a previous life.
[07:43] K
    The cause of it all!
[07:45] H
    If it weren't for Tsukimiya, I'd...
[07:47] K
    If it weren't for Tsukimiya-kun, I'd...
[07:50] H
    I need your help, Gestöber.
[07:52] Kids
    Thank you for the meal!
[07:54] Teacher
    Everyone, we have a surprise cake today!
[07:59] Kids
    Cake?!
[08:00] Kids
    What for?!
[08:01] K
    H-Happy birthday to everyone born in December!
[08:05] Kids
    Yay!
[08:07] H
    And... And this is for Tsukimiya!
SIGN    Ta-
SIGN    da!
[08:11] H
    I asked Gestöber to make it for me.
[08:15] H
    It's spelled wrong, though...
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[08:17] H
    Your birthday is December 12th, right?
[08:20] H
    Happy birthday, Tsukimiya.
[08:22] H
    And...
[08:25] H
    Congratulations on getting
    onto the student council.
[08:28] H
    I can't do anything to help you,
[08:29] H
    but I'm sure you're better
    suited for it than me.
SIGN    Tsukimiya Utsugi
[08:32] H
    Do your best.
[08:34] U
    You're not mad anymore, Hanadori?
[08:36] H
    O-Of course not.
[08:38] H
    I hope we can still be friends.
[08:40] U
    Sure. Thanks, Hanadori!
[08:46] H
    It... It actually really hurt
    to be in a fight with you!
[08:52] U
    You never change, Hanadori.
[08:57] K
    I bet he's manipulated you your whole life.
SIGN    Hijiri Preschool
SIGN    Hijiri Preschool
[09:02] (Flashback) H
    Um, Tsukimiya-kun...
[09:06] (Flashback) H
    Be my friend.
[09:09] U
    I couldn't help recalling it.
[09:12] U
    Hanadori was so cute when he was little.
[09:16] H
    D-Dummyhead! You're making me blush!
[09:18] K
    Dum... Oh, forget it.
[09:20] ---
    What was that all about?
[09:24] K
    Will the day ever come when I look back
    on meeting these guys with nostalgia?
[09:31] K
    It's not exactly something
    I want to remember...
[09:35] U
    Oh, by the way, Seri-kun...
[09:37] U
    We were reviewing the work
    the student council does,
[09:40] U
    and we all decided we should
    let the runner-up join, too.
[09:45] U
    I could use the help...
[09:47] K
    What? No!
[09:49] K
    If I do that, it'll happen again...
[09:50] H
    Gestöber, you traitor!
[09:53] K
    Hanadori-kun will throw another fit.
[09:55] ---
    N-No, I can't...
[09:57] U
    So since you were the runner-up,
    Hanadori, why not join?
[10:00] H
    Me? Really?
[10:02] H
    What should I do?
[10:04] H
    I came in second?
[10:06] H
    I got more votes than Gestöber?
[10:10] H
    I feel kind of bad...
[10:12] H
    Will he be jealous?
[10:14] H
    If everyone finds out that he
    got fewer votes than I did...
[10:18] H
    Still, only the chosen can participate.
[10:22] H
    I hate to say it,
[10:24] H
    but I did get more votes...
[10:26] H
    But, you know, I'm glad
    I worked up the courage to run.
[10:31] H
    Effort doesn't always pay off, tho—
[10:35] K
    You bastards!
SIGN    Hahahaha
[10:36] K
    Why are you so damn cocky?!
    You act like you just slew an ogre!
[10:39] K
    Tsukimiya! Why'd you look
    at me when you said that?!
[10:39] M
    Please slay this ogre too, Koyukichi-dono!
[10:42] K
    You jerk! Moron! Asshole! Screw you!
[10:42] ---
    Take off this worthless ogre's head!
[10:47] H
    Gestöber!
[10:49] H
    Please, hear me out!
[10:51] H
    I'm sorry!
[10:53] H
    I'm so sorry I hurt you! I didn't realize you
    wanted to be on the student council so badly!
[10:59] H
    Don't worry, Gestöber! You have value!
[11:03] H
    Even if nobody else votes for you, I will!
[11:07] H
    So please, Gestöber!
[11:10] H
    Tsukimiya...
[11:12] ---
    Sometimes words of courage
    don't get across, huh?
[11:16] U
    That's right, Hanadori.
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[11:18] K
    Now I have something else I want to forget...
SIGN    Christmas Party
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Dec. 24th
[11:24] H
    Pathetic.
[11:26] H
    Becoming mere cattle,
    brainwashed and manipulated...
[11:30] H
    Nothing more than sheeple.
[11:32] H
    If you want to celebrate the birth
    of a god, celebrate mine instead.
[11:36] U
    What? You're not going, Hanadori?
[11:38] U
    Seri-kun's looking forward to it.
[11:41] Sumiso
    Um, are you going to the
    Christmas party too, Koyuki-kun?
[11:45] K
    Y-Yeah.
[11:48] K
    Are you, Sumiso-san?
[11:49] Sumiso
    Yup!
[11:52] K
    I already bought something
    for the gift exchange, but...
[11:56] K
    What should I do?
[11:59] K
    Would this look good on Sumiso-san?
[12:03] K
    Since I didn't get to give her a
    birthday present thanks to them...
[12:07] K
    No, maybe it's better if I don't.
[12:11] K
    Maybe getting something
    specially for her would be creepy.
[12:14] K
    And, actually...
[12:16] K
    Is she even coming today?
[12:20] News
    It's Christmas Eve, and snow storms
    are blowing all across Japan...
[12:24] K
    Today's the Christmas party
    that Tsukimiya-kun suggested...
[12:28] ---
    or probably just forced through
    the student council.
[12:32] K
    Oh, jeez...
[12:33] ---
    I'm still early. I should
    find somewhere to chill...
[12:36] M
    I'm begging you!
SIGN    Yakiniku・Horumon
[12:39] M
    Please, sell me a Black Santa outfit!
[12:43] M
    I need Koyukichi-dono to wear it!
[12:47] K
    Mogami-kun, what are you doing?
[12:47] Man
    Sir, this is a yakiniku shop!
    We don't have those!
[12:52] M
    What?!
[12:53] M
    You don't know the legend of Black Santa?
[12:55] M
    Black Santa Claus visits
    bad little girls and boys
[12:59] ---
    and gives them awful things
    like rocks or bloody intestines...
[13:03] M
    or even beats them with his sack!
[13:06] M
    I'm a bad boy! So I need a Black Santa
    outfit for Koyukichi-dono!
[13:11] K
    Hey, stop that!
[13:13] K
    Do you always shout my
    name in public like that?
[13:13] M
    Please! For Koyukichi-dono!
[13:16] K
    Also, why would a yakiniku
    place sell Santa outfits?
[13:17] M
    Please!
[13:22] M
    I smell Koyukichi-dono!
[13:23] M
    He's close!
[13:25] K
    How can you tell at this distance?!
[13:27] K
    You're scary!
[13:30] K
    Starting over!
[13:32] K
    Today's the Christmas party.
[13:33] K
    I was just hoping to see Sumiso-san...
[13:37] K
    But I can't drag my feet like this!
[13:39] K
    Sumiso-san is popular with regular
    guys who are constantly looking
[13:44] ---
    for a way to get closer to her,
    but don't have the guts to do it.
[13:48] K
    I can tell!
[13:50] K
    I have to tell her how I feel...
[13:55] Sumiso
    This is for me?
[13:56] Sumiso
    A Christmas present! How wonderful!
[14:00] Sumiso
    Do you... like me, Koyuki-kun?
[14:09] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun...
[14:12] K
    ...and get her to realize it!
[14:17] K
    Hibiki-kun?!
SIGN    Careful
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Snowblowing
[14:22] Hibiki
    I got snowblown by a snowblower!
[14:25] K
    How does that even happen?
[14:26] Hibiki
    I knew nobody liked me!
[14:29] Hibiki
    I got Helius-blown!
[14:30] Hibiki
    My present for the gift exchange is ruined!
[14:33] Hibiki
    I was looking forward to
    my first Christmas party!
[14:37] Hibiki
    I don't have the right to participate...
[14:40] Hibiki
    I'm a grim reaper, after all.
[14:42] ---
    If I go, the cake will spoil,
    and everyone will be cursed.
[14:46] Hibiki
    I'm a grim reaper, after all.
[14:47] K
    You don't have to get all poetic...
[14:50] Hibiki
    My mommy told me Santa doesn't
    come to our house, either.
[14:55] K
    Here, Hibiki-kun. Take it.
[14:58] K
    For the gift exchange.
[15:01] Hibiki
    But Senpai, this is...
[15:03] K
    I bought extra.
[15:05] Hibiki
    Are you sure?
[15:08] ---
    Go have fun.
[15:10] K
    See you later!
[15:13] K
    I know that's what I said...
[15:15] K
    But what will I do for the gift exchange now?
[15:19] K
    Well, I've still got Sumiso-san's gift...
[15:22] K
    Anyway, I need to get going
    before I run into any more trouble.
[15:25] Man
    Hey, wake up!
[15:26] Woman
    Are you okay?
[15:27] Suzuran
    Where is Utsugi-sama?
[15:30] K
    Mogami-san?
[15:31] K
    What are you doing? Where is your coat?
[15:33] Man
    You know her?
[15:34] Man
    Good, good.
[15:36] Suzuran
    I saw Utsugi-sama walking
    with a middle-aged woman
[15:38] Suzuran
    and ran out of the house.
[15:40] K
    You'd better hurry home and
    warm up before you get sick!
[15:44] Suzuran
    I have to go.
[15:45] K
    You can't!
[15:47] Suzuran
    You understand, don't you, Koyuki Seri?
[15:49] Suzuran
    I have to see him today.
[15:51] Suzuran
    Even if he's seeing someone else.
[15:57] K
    Then at least wear this.
[16:01] K
    I'm in a hurry!
[16:02] K
    Bye! Go home soon!
[16:07] K
    What do I do?
[16:08] K
    I don't have time to go buy anything else.
[16:11] K
    I need to at least get to the party...
[16:13] K
    I want to see Sumiso-san!
[16:16] K
    I fell into a hole!
[16:17] K
    What is this? Someone help!
[16:19] K
    I can't get out!
[16:22] K
    Why does this always happen to me?
[16:27] K
    I guess it's fine.
[16:28] K
    I wouldn't have had the courage
    to give it to her, anyway.
[16:31] H
    Don't give up, little boy.
[16:34] K
    Santa-san?
[16:36] H
    I've been watching you.
[16:39] H
    There's someone you want to see, isn't there?
[16:42] H
    It's Christmas Eve.
[16:44] H
    God wouldn't let a good boy suffer.
[16:48] K
    Thank you,
[16:50] K
    but it's okay.
[16:51] K
    My clothes are all dirty now,
    and I don't have a present for her.
[16:57] H
    Then give her this.
[17:01] H
    It's a silver accessory.
    I'm sure she'll love it.
[17:05] H
    Merry Christmas, little boy!
[17:11] M
    I can't believe it!
[17:12] M
    Koyukichi-dono got my present!
[17:15] M
    I'm so glad I spent all
    that time looking for it!
[17:17] Aitsu
    You're sure getting into the spirit, Koyuki.
[17:19] Hibiki
    It's so cute, Gestöber-senpai!
[17:22] K
    My clothes got all dirty,
    so I didn't have a choice...
[17:26] U
    Number 8!
[17:27] U
    Whoever's got number 8, come on up!
[17:30] K
    Anyway, I took this, but I can't
    really give it to anyone, can I?
[17:35] K
    I should give it back to that Santa.
[17:38] Aitsu
    What? You haven't turned in your present yet?
[17:41] Aitsu
    I'll take it up for you, so go eat.
[17:46] U
    Number 7!
[17:47] Sumiso
    Bingo!
[17:49] Sumiso
    I got this one!
[17:52] K
    S-Sumiso-san, that's...
[17:54] Sumiso
    What? Was this yours, Koyuki-kun?
[17:56] Sumiso
    What a coincidence.
[17:58] Sumiso
    Can I open it?
[17:59] K
    Is this okay?
[17:59] K
    Huh? Oh, uh... Sure.
[18:03] Sumiso
    What a beautiful necklace!
[18:05] Sumiso
    Is it handmade?
[18:07] ---
    That's...
[18:08] Tokimune
    Are you sure about this, Miguel?
[18:11] Tokimune
    You were so excited
[18:12] Tokimune
    about dressing up as Santa and giving
    Gestöber a matching accessory.
[18:18] S
    It's fine.
[18:19] ---
    Gestöber worked hard today.
[18:22] S
    Though it was an awful thing
    to do to you, Schlecht.
[18:25] S
    After you spent all that time teaching
    me how to make accessories...
[18:28] Tokimune
    It's fine.
[18:31] Tokimune
    It's been a while since we've
    gotten to spend time together.
[18:34] Tokimune
    Honestly... That Gestöber is
    lucky you care for him so much.
[18:42] K
    I'm sorry, Sumiso-san.
[18:44] K
    I think that present was...
[18:45] Sumiso
    I just love it!
[18:48] ---
    Thank you, Koyuki-kun!
[18:51] K
    Sumiso-san's happy, and I got to
    do what I came here for, but...
[18:56] H
    Don't give up, little boy.
[19:00] K
    I'm sorry.
[19:01] K
    Sumiso-san, I'm pretty sure
    that was meant for me.
[19:06] K
    I know I'm probably not
    making any sense, but...
[19:13] Sumiso
    I'm glad.
[19:16] Sumiso
    It was important to you, wasn't it?
[19:19] K
    Th-Thank you.
[19:21] K
    I'm sorry. I...
[19:23] K
    I really wanted you to...
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[19:35] H
    Gestöber! What are you doing here?
[19:36] K
    You made this for me, didn't you?
[19:41] H
    Y-You could tell?
[19:43] K
    Well, obviously.
[19:45] K
    So, anyway, since you gave it to me...
[19:50] K
    Thanks.
[19:56] H
    Sure thing.
[20:00] K
    What a mess of a Christmas this has been.
[20:02] K
    I can't believe I'm spending
    it with Hanadori-kun.
[20:05] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun!
[20:09] K
    S-Sumiso-san! How—
[20:12] Sumiso
    Does it look good on me?
[20:13] K
    Wait, what? How...
[20:15] Suzuran
    I thought the pale pink would look good
    draped on Sumiso Kotoko's shoulders.
[20:19] Suzuran
    I told her what happened and
     delivered the gift to its rightful owner.
[20:24] Suzuran
    I asked why she'd want something that had
     already been given to another girl, but...
[20:29] Sumiso
    Can I really have it?
[20:35] K
    O-Of cour—
[20:36] Hibiki
    Hey, Gestöber-senpai!
[20:38] Hibiki
    I was gifted dinner for two at a restaurant.
SIGN    Gift Certificate
[20:42] Hibiki
    Since you gave me your present,
[20:44] ---
    I want you to have this.
SIGN    Gift Certificate
[20:46] K
    Huh? Is this restaurant...
[20:51] Man
    Congratulations!
[20:53] Man
    You're our hundredth couple today!
[20:55] K
    Wh-What is with today?!
[20:57] Suzuran
    Why not go and enjoy yourselves, Koyuki Seri?
[21:04] K
    Th-Then, um...
[21:06] K
    Let's go.
[21:08] H
    Merry Christmas!
[21:10] K
    Not you!
[21:15] U
    Two Santas eating dinner together!
[21:18] Yae
    Kotoko, just forgot those losers.
[21:22] Yae
    What's so great about them?
[21:25] Sumiso
    They're such good friends!
[21:27] Yae
    Kotoko, is that really enough for you?
[21:30] H
    Wasn't that tasty, Gestöber?
[21:31] Man
    Are you sure this was all right, Shi-chan?
[21:32] ---
    Are you sure you don't want more?
[21:34] Man
    I lied to them about being
     the hundredth couple.
[21:34] ---
    Oh, you're full? Okay.
[21:36] Man
    The manager's gonna get mad at me!
[21:37] ---
    Then let's spend next Christmas here, too!
[21:39] Tokimune
    Even an angel like Miguel needs a gift.
[21:40] ---
    It's a promise, Gestöber!
[21:42] Tokimune
    I'll let him have his fun tonight.
[21:46] U
    Okay, I'm taking the picture, guys!
[21:48] U
    Ready?
[21:50] All
    Friends forever!
[21:52] K
    Don't make that our thing!
[23:25] K
    It's no use.
[23:26] K
    Our animators are gone,
    and I can't get this colored.
[23:28] K
    It's the Lunar New Year,
    and I can't get anyone to work!
[23:31] K
    We really are out of options this time!
[23:33] H
    We'll just have to offer
    five times the pay per cut!
[23:37] K
    Don't! We'll run out of budget!

Season 1

E10 - Happy Happy Greeting

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Happy New Year
SIGN    Delusion 10
[01:30] Mom
    Seri!
[01:33] Mom
    We're making our first family
    shrine visit of the year.
[01:35] Mom
    Do you want to come?
[01:38] K
    Nyope.
[01:39] Mom
    You should at least get a little exercise.
[01:43] K
    I'm not going.
[01:44] K
    Not a chance in hell!
[01:47] K
    I can tell you exactly what would happen
    to my peaceful winter break if I did.
SIGN    Gwaaaah!
[01:52] K
    I guarantee you I'd hear Hanadori-kun
    screaming in the distance...
[01:55] K
    Then Tsukimiya-kun would be like,
    "Fancy seeing you here!"
[01:58] K
    And there's no way in hell
    it'd actually be a coincidence.
[01:58] U
    Hey! What are you praying for, Seri-kun?
[02:01] K
    I just want some peace and quiet
    before the new semester starts...
[02:04] Mom
    Here, these New Year's cards are for you.
[02:07] Mom
    You sure got a lot this year.
    Did you make more friends?
[02:10] Mom
    Okay, we're going now.
[02:13] K
    Why are there so many?
[02:15] K
    I don't even know that many people...
SIGN    Miguekoroirya
SIGN    This year!
SIGN    Geskoroirya
SIGN    Let's combine our powers and do
    our best together for world peace!
SIGN    Gestöber,
    Happy New Year!
    Enjoy this brief respite
    before our next round
     of dedly deadly battles.
    
    Cerberus also says hello.
[02:25] K
    You again?
SIGN    To Koyuki Seri
[02:26] K
    Why'd Hanadori-kun send two, anyway?
[02:30] K
    Don't tell me this whole stack is...
SIGN    To Koyuki Seri
[02:34] ---
    Nah, surely not.
SIGN    Gestöber, are you going
    to a shrine after Christmas?
    
    
    
    Will you buy the Hamaya
    or the Kumade?
    
    -The Hamaya slays evil.
    
    -The Kumade rakes in blessings.
    
    
    
    (Menukoro Trivia)
SIGN     I can't wait to shatter
     the darkness with
    you this year!
    Miguel devours my sole
    (? sorry, spelled wrong)
     more each day...
    
    This is... loneliness...
    Save me... Gest...
SIGN    Making a snowman with Cerberus and Tsukimiya!
    Peace! Hope you can join us next year!
[02:40] K
    They are all from Hanadori-kun!
SIGN    Slam
[02:46] K
    The New Year just started,
    and already I'm yelling at him.
[02:48] K
    Is this what the whole
    year's going to be like?
[02:51] K
    Huh?
[02:52] K
    Here's one from Tsukimiya-kun.
SIGN    Tsukimiya
    Utsugi
[02:55] K
    "Live as your heart tells
    you this year, Seri-kun.
[02:59] K
    Whether you're honest with your
    feelings or stupidly stubborn,
[03:03] K
    try for greatness or live
    like a piece of garbage,
[03:05] K
    we all end up in the same place."
[03:08] U
    A dead end, Seri-kun!
[03:10] K
    Is that how you want to start off the year?!
[03:12] K
    Jeez! What's with these guys?
[03:14] K
    Oh, Hibiki-kun sent one, too.
[03:16] K
    How nice of him.
[03:18] Hibiki
    Happy New Year, Gestöber-senpai!
[03:24] Hibiki
    But I'm sure a card from me is
    no better than chain mail, right?
[03:29] Hibiki
    I'm worried just writing to you may
    bestow some kind of curse upon you.
[03:33] Hibiki
    But I'm sorry...
[03:35] ---
    You've done so much for me,
    and all I can do is repay it with evil...
[03:39] Hibiki
    I'm sorry I'm a grim reaper.
SIGN    Sorry.
    Really sorry.
    Sorry if you get cursed.
[03:43] K
    So gloomy...
[03:46] K
    Okay, moving on!
SIGN    To Koyuki Seri
SIGN    From Your Teacher
[03:48] K
    Hey, the teacher sent me one, too!
[03:50] K
    I'm sure it just says something stupid.
[03:52] Teacher
    Happy New Year, Koyuki!
[03:54] Teacher
    You studying hard?
[03:56] Teacher
    I hope you don't get held back this year!
[04:01] K
    No way! Are my grades that bad?!
[04:03] K
    Bad enough I'm in danger of getting held back?!
[04:05] Teacher
    Just kidding! That's a joke!
[04:07] K
    Not funny! What kind of teacher are you?!
[04:09] K
    Oh, no...
[04:11] ---
    It's only New Year's and I'm
    already this mentally exhausted.
[04:14] K
    I wasn't ready for the New Year at all!
SIGN    New Year's
[04:18] M
    If I get held back too, will I be able to
    go on a class trip with Koyukichi-dono?
[04:24] K
    What the hell? How are you conversing
    with him across time and space?
SIGN    New Year's
[04:28] K
    Did you write these together?
[04:30] Suzuran
    I also wish to go on a
    pre-honeymoon with Utsugi-sama.
[04:35] Suzuran
    If we all get held back together,
    I'll have my chance to XXXX him.
[04:39] K
    Seriously, stop talking to each
    other via my New Year's cards!
[04:41] K
    You guys are all really close, aren't you?
[04:43] K
    Damn it! Did you all have to kick off
    the new year by messing with me?!
[04:46] K
    I absolutely do not want
    this to be my future!
SIGN    Kotoko
[04:54] K
    Is this...
[04:56] Sumiso
    Happy New Year, Koyuki-kun!
[05:00] Sumiso
    I know it's cold, so I hope you don't get sick.
[05:03] Sumiso
    This will be our last year in high school.
[05:05] ---
    I hope we end up in the same class!
[05:09] K
    S-Sumiso-sama! My archangel
    who came for me in the pits of hell!
SIGN    Amazake
[05:21] K
    So I ended up visiting the shrine, too.
[05:24] K
    The same class as Sumiso-san...
[05:26] K
    What a wonderful and alluring thought.
SIGN    Clean-up Duty
    
    Sumiso
    Koyuki
[05:33] K
    What is this?
[05:34] K
    With every moment of shy eye contact,
    a secret message is shared...
[05:40] K
    "I love you!"
[05:48] K
    What are you doing here?!
[05:49] H
    Visiting the shrine!
[05:50] U
    ROFLing at your stupid poem!
SIGN    Please mind your manners
    on the shrine grounds.
    
    -Mitoya Shrine
[05:55] U
    Hanadori was all sad because you
    didn't send him a New Year's card.
[06:00] H
    Qw-Qwiet! Qwiet!
[06:02] K
    "Qwiet"?
[06:02] U
    So I told him that if we came here,
    he'd run into you eventually.
[06:06] K
    First day of the year,
    and he's already scaring me.
[06:08] U
    Hanadori worked so hard
    to write all those cards, too.
[06:11] H
    I was hoping they would bring him
    good luck in the new year somehow.
[06:14] K
    Yeah, thanks.
[06:17] K
    I know Hanadori-kun doesn't mean any harm,
[06:20] U
    Honestly, Hanadori...
[06:20] K
    but it's clearly because of these two
    that I'm in danger of being held back.
[06:22] U
    Qwiet! Qwiet!
[06:23] U
    You're such a goof, Hanadori.
[06:24] H
    Qwiet! Qwiet!
[06:25] K
    I guess I should've asked the gods
    to keep these two away from me.
[06:29] U
    Seri-kun, are you seriously asking the
    gods to solve your problems for you?
[06:33] U
    Shouldn't you just try studying first?
[06:36] H
    That's right, Gestöber.
[06:37] H
    I'll help you, if you want.
[06:39] H
    I'm a god myself, after all.
[06:42] K
    Leave me alone!
[06:44] U
    Just ask for help, okay?
[06:47] U
    I'm at the top of our class.
[06:48] U
    Leave this to me.
[06:49] K
    Really?
[06:49] H
    All my grades are better
    than yours, Gestöber.
[06:51] K
    Die in a fire.
[06:52] H
    What's giving you the most trouble?
[06:53] K
    You two!
[06:54] K
    I want to just study normally!
[06:57] K
    But you guys...
SIGN     Great Luck
    
    
    Everything's going your way.
    Fear nothing.
    Your luck is strong.
     The universe...
[06:59] U
    I think the first thing you need is a goal.
[07:02] U
    Why are you studying?
[07:04] U
    Ignoring what's right in front of you,
    your goal is to be a teacher, right?
[07:09] U
    Ignoring why you want to do that...
SIGN     Luck Will Come
    
    
    Stay strong and face your problems,
     and luck will come. You'll find a hint
     about how to deal with what troubles you.
[07:11] U
    Ignoring whether it's a good idea,
    if that's what you want to do,
[07:13] ---
    then you'll have to deal
    with kids like Hanadori.
[07:16] U
    So don't run from Hanadori.
     Get closer to him.
[07:20] U
    I think, in part, this will help
    get you closer to your dream.
[07:25] K
    He told me to ignore so much that
    I don't even know what he's saying.
[07:28] U
    What? Why not?
[07:30] K
    That's not what I want!
[07:30] H
    Um... Um... I want this one.
[07:32] ---
    Can't you just hand over a really good set
    of study notes so I don't get held back?
[07:37] U
    Oh, no! Your goal is to cheat, Seri-kun?
[07:40] K
    No. I'm just saying that if
    I can't become a teacher
[07:43] ---
    because I've been goofing off with
    Hanadori-kun, it won't do me any good!
[07:46] K
    Fwish!
[07:47] K
    H-Hey! What did you just put in my pocket?
SIGN    Academic Success
[07:53] U
    Oh, a good luck charm!
[07:55] U
    That sure was nice of Hanadori.
SIGN    Academic Success
[07:57] U
    Hanadori-ku—
SIGN    Nothing but misery!
SIGN    Terrible Luck
[08:05] H
    You can have that, too, Gestöber.
SIGN    Heh heh
[08:07] K
    I will kill you, I swear.
[08:08] K
    Don't give me your own fortune
    when it's bad luck!
[08:12] ---
    Huh?
[08:13] K
    Hanadori-kun is acting weird...
[08:19] U
    Seri-kun, this is...
[08:22] K
    No way!
[08:24] H
    Listen well, sheeple!
[08:26] H
    Open your eyes and worship the true god!
[08:29] K
    He's drunk on amazake?!
[08:30] H
    I am your god!
    Miguel, the dark god of destruction!
[08:39] Gorio
    I wondered who was making
    all that racket at our shrine.
[08:42] Gorio
    So it turned out to be you, Hanadori?
[08:44] Gorio
    Long time no see.
[08:46] K
    Gorio-senpai?!
[08:47] Gorio
    You've got some nerve, causing trouble in
    front of our god on an auspicious day like this.
[08:53] K
    Gorio-senpai lives here?
[08:55] H
    I am none other...
[08:57] K
    Crap. If this gets any more out of hand...
[09:00] Gorio
    Hanadori, I think you need
     some help waking up.
[09:01] H
    Let me go! Let me go!
[09:04] ---
    Let me go!
[09:04] K
    Wait! I'm so sorry!
[09:06] K
    I'll take him home!
[09:09] Gorio
    Calm down!
[09:14] H
    Gorio...
[09:17] H
    Gestöber said to wait!
SIGN    Smack
[09:26] Gorio
    Hanadori, you little...
[09:30] K
    What do I do?
[09:43] H
    Did you see that, Gorio?
[09:45] H
    That's Gestöber's special move,
    the Stealthy Ninja Blizzardwalk!
[09:49] H
    It blocks any attack!
[09:51] ---
    See? I'm unharmed!
[09:55] K
    Hanadori...
[09:58] H
    What's wrong, Gestöber?
[10:00] H
    Why is your face so swollen?
[10:01] H
    Who made Gestöber so ugly?
[10:05] H
    Who did it?!
SIGN    Smack
[10:07] K
    You did!
[10:12] Sumiso
    What's that?
[10:13] Yae
    No idea.
[10:14] Sumiso
    It feels like a good omen!
[10:20] K
    I've shown him pity until now,
[10:22] ---
    but now I'm totally done!
[10:24] K
    No matter what anyone says,
    I can't hang around Hanadori-kun.
[10:27] H
    Gestöber!
[10:29] H
    Wait, Gestöber!
SIGN    Grab
[10:31] K
    What are you do—
[10:32] H
    Gestöber, I'm... I'm d... d-d-drunk...
[10:38] K
    H-Hey, don't tell me...
[10:41] K
    N-No!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[10:45] K
    And so, to apologize for
    all the trouble we caused,
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[10:50] ---
    we spent the rest of winter
    break working at Gorio's shrine.
[10:54] K
    Damn it all!
[10:57] K
    I never did get to study.
[10:59] K
    What if I really do get held back?
[11:03] H
    I'm having a surprisingly good
    time learning how the normies live!
[11:07] H
    Don't worry!
[11:08] H
    I'll help you study!
[11:11] K
    Shaddup.
[11:12] U
    Live as your heart tells you, Seri-kun.
[11:14] H
    Don't worry, Gestöber!
[11:15] K
    Shut up and get lost!
[11:19] K
    Do I not have a prayer this year, either?
[11:22] K
    Dear God...
[11:25] K
    It's so warm today...
[11:26] Girl
    Koyuki-kun.
[11:28] ---
    About the farewell party...
[11:30] Girl
    Koyuki-kun?
[11:32] K
    Oh, sorry. I was spacing out.
[11:34] ---
    Read this.
SIGN    Farewell Party Duties List
[11:35] K
    Farewell party?
[11:36] K
    That's right. It's the last semester.
[11:39] K
    Once our upperclassmen graduate,
[11:41] ---
    we'll be in our last year, too...
[11:44] K
    I need to get my act together.
[11:46] K
    My last year in high school...
[11:48] K
    Actually...
SIGN    Class 2-3 Koyuki Seri
SIGN    Subject Score Class Average
[11:51] K
    Can I even make it that far?
SIGN    Modern Lit
    
    Math II
    
    Math B
    
    English II
    
    Chem
[11:55] K
    There's still time!
[11:56] K
    We still have the final exams!
[11:59] Sumiso
    I hope we end up in the
    same class, Koyuki-kun!
[12:05] K
    I can't space out now!
[12:07] K
    This time, I really need to make
    sure nobody gets in my way!
[12:13] K
    He's spacing out more than me.
[12:16] U
    Hanadori, Seri-kun, Mogami-kun!
     Let's have lunch!
[12:21] U
    Hanadori?
[12:23] U
    Is he dead?
[12:24] U
    Hey, Hanadori. You said you wanted to
    have buns at the school store, right?
[12:29] U
    Once we're third-years, why don't I
    propose that to the student council?
[12:43] U
    Hey, get it together, Hanadori.
[12:46] Gorio
    Well, if it isn't Hanadori.
[12:51] Gorio
    You'd better not be up to
    something just because
[12:54] ---
    we third-years aren't gonna be
    around to watch you anymore.
[12:57] U
    Look, Hanadori! It's Gorio-senpai!
[13:15] Gorio
    What's his problem?
[13:17] K
    Hanadori-kun's been weird lately.
[13:22] M
    But Kabu-dono is always weird.
[13:25] K
    Well, yeah, but...
[13:27] U
    He's not even interested in the things
    he'd usually be all excited about.
[13:30] U
    Did something happen?
[13:34] K
    It's probably some new way of
    getting me to pay attention to him.
[13:38] K
    If he's finally being quiet,
    let's just ignore him.
[13:40] U
    We have to solve this mystery!
[13:42] U
    In the name of Gestöber!
[13:44] U
    Seri-kun, you're the only one
    who can restore him to normal!
[13:48] ---
    Huh?!
[13:49] U
    First, let's ask around!
[13:51] ---
    Hey!
[13:51] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[13:53] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai's acting weird?
[13:56] Hibiki
    But Gestöber-senpai,
    you're being even weirder...
[13:59] K
    I got grabbed by some bad people...
[14:00] U
    And thus Detective Seri-kun was born!
[14:02] M
    You look so smart, Koyukichi-dono!
[14:05] K
    What are you making me do?!
[14:06] K
    Why don't you just talk to him
    yourself, Tsukimiya-kun?
[14:09] K
    You know this is ridiculous!
[14:11] U
    That won't do, Seri-kun.
[14:13] U
    I may be his friend, but that doesn't mean
    I can pry about deep, personal problems.
[14:16] K
    You do it to me all the time!
[14:19] U
    So, Hibiki-kun, have you noticed
    anything strange about Hanadori?
[14:24] Hibiki
    Let me think...
[14:28] Hibiki
    Could it be...
[14:29] ---
    My nightly rituals to drive away bad luck
     mistakenly came back upon Miguel-senpai?
[14:30] Hibiki
    Bad luck, bad luck, go away!
[14:34] K
    You do that every night?
[14:36] U
    Sturmhut is a knight of the light
    who was invaded by darkness.
[14:40] U
    Maybe he tried to absorb
    Hibiki-kun's bad luck for him...
[14:43] Hibiki
    Oh, no! What should I do?
[14:45] K
    Don't say that. He'll take you seriously!
[14:48] M
    No!
[14:48] ---
    There's also a possibility that
    Kabu-dono's hair got tangled up
[14:52] ---
    in the straw curse dolls I pound
    into trees every night!
[14:54] K
    Why the hell do you do that every night?
[14:56] M
    Maybe my rivalry with Kabu-dono
    made me do it unconsciously...
[15:00] K
    Why do you trust yourself so little?
[15:03] M
    How could I be so cruel?!
[15:04] M
    That's a terrible thing to do,
    even to Kabu-dono!
[15:07] M
    Koyukichi-dono, please nail me to a cross!
[15:11] HIbiki
    I'm sorry, Miguel-senpai!
[15:13] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[15:14] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[15:16] K
    Who are these people?
[15:16] ---
    Koyukichi-dono!
[15:17] ---
    Miguel-senpai!
[15:19] Sumiso
    Hanadori-kun?
[15:21] ---
    I'm afraid I don't know.
[15:22] Sumiso
    I haven't seen him lately.
[15:24] K
    Right, of course not. Sorry.
[15:26] Sumiso
    But he must be so happy to have a friend
     like you who really cares about him.
[15:33] Sumiso
    You're so kind, Koyuki-kun!
[15:36] K
    Sumiso-shan!
[15:39] Aitsu
    Hanadori?
[15:41] ---
    Does anyone know him better than you two?
[15:43] K
    Right?
[15:45] K
    As much as I hate to admit it...
[15:47] Aitsu
    Maybe his dark destruction isn't going well?
[15:50] Aitsu
    Or someone made fun of him?
[15:52] Aitsu
    Beats me.
[15:53] K
    I know I'm the one who asked,
[15:54] K
    but I really don't care.
[15:56] K
    I want to go home.
[15:57] Aitsu
    Seri-kun, you didn't complain when
    we were talking to Sumiso-san.
[16:02] Suzuran
    Spring is the season of new
    encounters and farewells.
[16:08] Suzuran
    Perhaps Hanadori Kabuto is concerned about
     his new class in the coming school year.
[16:13] K
    Mogami-san?
[16:15] Suzuran
    Or perhaps a more permanent farewell...
[16:18] Suzuran
    Maybe his family is moving,
    or fleeing in the night to escape debts.
[16:21] Suzuran
    In either case, he'd be leaving Mitoya High.
[16:24] K
    No way. That's too sudden...
[16:27] Suzuran
    If that's the case,
[16:28] ---
    there are far more pressing
    issues than the farewell party.
[16:30] Suzuran
    Perhaps, anyway.
[16:32] K
    You are just guessing, right?
[16:34] Suzuran
    Your petty problems aside,
    where is Utsugi-sama?
[16:42] K
    Damn it.
[16:44] K
    I never did figure anything out.
[16:46] ---
    And Tsukimiya-kun vanished, too.
[16:48] K
    Nothing good comes from hanging with them.
[16:51] K
    That's why I didn't want to be with—
[16:53] K
    Huh?
[16:57] K
    Hey, that's Hanadori-kun.
[17:15] K
    I'm sure it was something really dumb...
[17:18] K
    But it's rare to see him alone like that.
[17:23] K
    He's not really transferring, is he?
[17:27] K
    Maybe he's just upset he won't have any
    enemies to fight when the third-years graduate.
[17:33] K
    Or maybe he's working on some weird
    speech to give at the farewell party...
[17:39] K
    I'm doing it again!
    This is just what they want!
[17:45] Sumiso
    This may be rude of me to say,
[17:48] ---
    but I don't think Hanadori-kun is the kind
    of guy who can be friends with just anyone.
[17:54] Sumiso
    Help him out, Koyuki-kun.
[17:58] K
    If something's bugging him,
    he should just say so.
[18:01] K
    Like he always does.
[18:09] Teacher
    Hanadori? Hanadori... Huh?
[18:12] Teacher
    Hanadori came to school today, right, Koyuki?
[18:15] K
    What? Oh, yeah.
[18:16] Teacher
    Where'd he go?
[18:19] Kids
    Hey, remember that Hanadori Kabuto
    kid in our second-year class?
[18:23] ---
    The dark... something or other?
[18:26] Kids
    He transferred schools and couldn't fit in
    or make friends, and because of that, he...
[18:34] Teacher
    What's wrong, Koyuki?
[18:35] K
    Uh, nothing...
[18:37] K
    Wh-What did I just see?
[18:39] K
    That's horrible!
[18:41] U
    Seri-kun.
[18:42] U
    Hanadori is on the roof.
[18:45] K
    Did Tsukimiya-kun give me that vision?
[18:48] K
    That's in really bad taste.
[18:50] U
    Go quickly.
[18:52] U
    Before something truly terrible happens.
[19:05] K
    Hanadori-kun?
[19:09] H
    Gestöber...
[19:11] H
    How did you know I was here?
[19:13] K
    What are you doing up here?
[19:14] K
    He's crying. Don't tell me...
[19:17] ---
    He's really transferring?
[19:20] K
    H-Hey, listen...
[19:21] ---
    I came to get you for the
    farewell party rehearsal.
[19:24] K
    We only have today.
[19:25] H
    Rehearsal?
[19:26] H
    I don't have time for that.
[19:29] K
    What? Why?
[19:33] K
    Wh-What's wrong?
[19:38] K
    If something's bothering you, say it!
[19:40] K
    You never worry about saying anything else!
[19:42] H
    But... But...
[19:45] K
    I'd rather you do that than you keep it
    a secret and make me assume the worst!
[19:50] K
    What happened? Tell me!
[19:52] H
    O-Okay, I will, but...
[19:55] K
    Spit it out!
[19:56] H
    Gestöber... When are you going to study?
[20:01] H
    You keep saying you will,
[20:03] ---
    but your grades never go up.
[20:05] H
    You've got bigger problems
    than this farewell party, right?
[20:08] H
    If you fail your finals,
    you might get held back!
[20:13] H
    You'll end up in the same class as Helius!
[20:15] Hibiki
    Gestöber-senpa—
[20:17] Hibiki
    Oops, you're not my senpai anymore!
[20:18] H
    He might say that to you!
[20:21] H
    Listen to me, Gestöber!
[20:22] H
    And please don't get angry!
[20:24] H
    I know you're a hard worker
    and you care about what you do.
[20:27] H
    But there's such a thing as priorities!
[20:30] H
    Look!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Kabuto
SIGN    XX University
    
    
    
    YY University
    
    
    
    ZZ University
[20:31] H
    Even I got an A on the entrance exams
    for the schools you want to go to!
[20:36] H
    Even I got an A, but you're flunking!
[20:40] H
    I don't want to say this...
[20:42] H
    But I can't bear to see you
    throwing your life away!
[20:46] H
    So...
[20:47] ---
    I've been agonizing over the best way to
    tell you that without hurting your pride!
[20:54] H
    My pride is in tatters!
SIGN    Shred
SIGN    Shred
SIGN    Shred
SIGN    Shred
SIGN    Shred
SIGN    Shred
[20:56] K
    You think you're being nice?!
[20:57] H
    But you told me to tell you!
[20:57] K
    Whose fault do you think this is?!
[20:59] ---
    You... You...
[21:02] K
    If only you'd just left me alone to begin with!
[21:05] Hibiki
    Calm down, Gestöber-senpai!
[21:07] M
    Strip me naked, too, Koyukichi-dono!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:10] K
    Hanadori-kun was literally
    worried to tears about me!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[21:13] K
    I'm jumping off the roof!
[21:16] K
    And so I kept my head down
    for the farewell party,
SIGN    Tsukimiya's Special
    Learn Math Through
    Manga
SIGN    Gestöber Level English
[21:19] K
    and thanks to the special study materials
    Hanadori-kun and Tsukimiya-kun gave me,
[21:23] K
    I managed to not get held back.
[21:25] K
    I hate to admit it, but this
    is really easy to follow!
[21:30] K
    Damn it all!
[23:08] (Flashback) H
    Look!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Kabuto
SIGN    XX University
    
    
    
    YY University
    
    
    
    ZZ University
[23:09] (Flashback) ---
    Even I got an A on the entrance exams
    for the schools you want to go to!
[23:14] K
    Why's he taking the exams
    for my schools, anyway?
SIGN    Shiver
[23:20] K
    Don't tell me... Don't tell me...
[23:26] Birds
    No... How could you?
[23:28] Birds
    If you want Amino-san back,
    you'll have to beat me!
[23:31] Amino
    Stop it, both of you!
[23:33] Birds
    She's got a point!
[23:35] Birds
    Yeah.
[23:35] Birds
    Our battle is just beginning!
[23:37] ---
    Yeah!
[23:38] Amino
    No!

Season 1

E11 - In the future

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Nurse's Office
SIGN    Year 1 Year 2
SIGN    Health Report Koyuki Seri
[00:07] K
    This is great!
[00:08] K
    I've gotten taller since last year!
[00:10] K
    Now I probably don't need to worry about
    Sumiso-san being taller than me, right?
[00:14] K
    She's about 155 centimeters
    tall, so probably...
[00:16] U
    I'm glad you're so calm, Seri-kun.
[00:19] U
    There's a rumor going around that
    Sumiso-san's dating a tall first-year.
[00:26] H
    Gestöber!
[00:28] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[00:29] K
    It can't be...
[00:30] K
    Sumiso-san, why?
[00:32] K
    Who is that?
[00:33] U
    A tall, handsome, manly, dependable guy...
[00:37] U
    The complete opposite of you, huh?
[00:41] K
    Why?
[00:42] K
    Sumiso-san...
[00:43] K
    It can't be... No!
[00:47] H
    Gestöber!
[00:49] K
    No!
[00:50] U
    Seri-kun, this locker is open!
[00:52] K
    A locker!
[00:54] H
    Gestöber!
[00:55] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[00:56] Hibiki
    Gestöber-senpai!
[00:59] K
    I'm so glad this locker was here.
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Delusion 11
[02:32] U
    Feeling better, Seri-kun?
[02:41] K
    Oh, it was just a dream.
[02:42] U
    This is totally real, Seri-kun.
[02:49] K
    God, how could you do this to me?
[02:53] K
    You can't take Sumiso-san from me!
    She's all that keeps me going!
[02:56] H
    Don't worry!
[02:57] H
    You've got me, Gestöber.
[03:00] K
    I'm not talking to you, God of Destruction.
[03:02] U
    It's just a rumor.
[03:04] U
    Why not ask her about it yourself?
[03:07] H
    That's right, Gestöber!
[03:09] M
    Koyukichi-dono!
[03:10] Hibiki
    I'll be with you all the way,
    Gestöber-senpai!
[03:18] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun!
[03:20] K
    S-Sumiso-san, uh... I mean, um...
[03:29] K
    Um...
[03:33] Sumiso
    K-Koyuki-kun?
[03:39] U
    You couldn't ask her, Seri-kun?
[03:41] U
    Pretending you don't see anything
    won't change the facts.
SIGN    Ha ha
SIGN    Ha ha
[03:45] H
    What's wrong, Gestöber?
[03:46] H
    Why are you so depressed?
[03:48] H
    Is it that woman?
[03:49] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun!
[03:50] H
    You're too good for her anyway!
[03:53] H
    Fate is a real thing, you know.
[03:56] H
    Like the fate that binds you and me!
[03:58] M
    Wait, Kabu-dono!
[04:00] M
    Koyukichi-dono may be upset
    because he feels inferior.
[04:04] M
    Worry not, Koyukichi-dono!
[04:06] M
    You're cute and loved.
[04:08] M
    Even if you're short or ugly,
[04:11] M
    you still have value.
[04:13] U
    That's right.
[04:14] U
    Hot people only matter
    because ugly people exist.
[04:18] H
    It's okay!
[04:18] H
    You're allowed to be a shrimp!
[04:21] K
    Shoryu!
[04:25] U
    Don't worry, Seri-kun.
[04:27] U
    You can compensate for
     your height with these boots.
[04:31] Teacher
    Why are you sitting with your
    arms around your knees, Koyuki?
[04:35] K
    I'm not.
[04:37] ---
    My legs are just so long,
    there's nowhere else for them to go.
SIGN    Ha ha
SIGN    Ha ha
[04:44] K
    I don't want to believe it.
[04:45] K
    Sumiso-san can't have a boyf—
[04:48] U
    I told you, just ask her!
[04:51] K
    Just who was she smiling at like that?
[04:56] K
    I hate him!
[04:57] K
    I hate everything!
[04:58] K
    Why are these guys the
    only ones smiling at me?
[05:01] Girl
    Hey, there was this totally hot guy
    at the station the other day.
[05:04] Girl
    I couldn't believe it!
[05:06] Girl
    He was so hot, I couldn't even...
[05:08] K
    Everybody only cares about looks...
[05:09] U
    Listen, Seri-kun.
[05:11] K
    They don't care about what's inside.
[05:13] ---
    Just appearances!
[05:16] K
    This world is shit.
[05:19] U
    Calm down, Seri-kun!
[05:21] U
    Sumiso-san never said any of that.
[05:24] U
    If you've made up your mind
    without even asking her,
[05:26] U
    aren't you the one who doesn't
    care what's inside her?
[05:28] K
    H-He's right! I...
[05:31] U
    And what's more,
[05:32] ---
    people who think like that always assume
    it's what's inside that makes them superior.
[05:37] U
    But just what makes you so confident
    about what you're like on the inside?
[05:40] U
    Oh... I don't mean "you" specifically.
    Lots of people are like that.
[05:44] U
    But, I mean, if someone actually
    saw inside you and said,
[05:47] ---
    "Hey, that's nothing special.
    This hottie I know is way better..."
[05:51] U
    Then you'd have nothing left.
[05:54] U
    So maybe you're just using
    looks as a convenient excuse.
[05:58] U
    Oh, and I don't mean "you" specifically!
[06:07] G
    He barfed! Gestöber barfed!
[06:09] Hibiki
    Gestöber-senpai barfed!
[06:11] M
    Don't worry, Koyukichi-dono.
[06:13] M
    I like you even if you barf.
[06:14] H
    Gestöber, take my tissues!
[06:19] U
    So now we're all going to come up with
     a plan to help Seri-kun beat the hot guy.
[06:25] All
    Yay!
[06:27] K
    Just leave me be.
[06:30] Hibiki
    So who is the hot guy?
[06:32] H
    Supposedly a first-year.
[06:33] U
    First, we need to learn more about him.
[06:37] U
    Open wide, Hanadori!
[06:40] U
    A lot of the time, it just turns
    out to be her little brother.
[06:45] K
    Her little brother?!
[06:49] K
    If it were her little brother, there
    wouldn't be rumors about them dating!
[06:52] H
    Do you hate that guy, Gestöber?
[06:58] H
    Understood. Don't worry.
[07:01] H
    Your enemies are my enemies!
[07:04] H
    I'll do something!
[07:05] ---
    I'll show him who's the upperclassman here!
[07:08] K
    What kind of senpai does that make you?
[07:10] H
    So cheer up, Gestöber!
[07:12] K
    Enough.
[07:13] Sumiso
    So then...
[07:17] K
    S-Sumiso-san!
[07:19] Sumiso
    Oh? It's Koyuki-kun and his friends!
[07:22] Sumiso
    What a coincidence!
[07:23] K
    That's him!
[07:24] K
    The tall, hot guy!
[07:26] H
    Gestöber, you can't handle him! Get back!
[07:29] H
    Huh, so you think you're tough, do ya?
[07:32] H
    Wh-Who are you supposed to be?
[07:33] K
    You're not even looking him in the eye, Senpai!
[07:35] K
    Don't push yourself!
[07:36] Hatsuyuki
    Masaki Hatsuyuki.
[07:38] Hatsuyuki
    I'm a first-year at Middle School 5.
[07:40] H
    O-Oh, yeah? Hmph!
[07:43] H
    You heard the man, Gestöber!
[07:45] K
    All you did was get his name, Senpai.
[07:47] K
    But you tried your best. Thanks.
[07:49] Sumiso
    So, Koyuki-kun, my friend here is...
[07:51] K
    Your friend?!
[07:52] U
    Calm down, Seri-kun. Don't overreact.
SIGN    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[07:57] K
    What?! You're Gorio-senpai's little brother?
SIGN    Little
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Brother
[08:00] Hatsuyuki
    Yes.
[08:03] K
    All they have in common is
    their height and that nasty glare.
SIGN    Big Brother
[08:08] K
    Genes sure play some scary tricks...
[08:13] H
    Gorio and I were enemies
     when he was still alive.
[08:16] H
    It must be fate that drew you to me.
[08:20] Hatsuyuki
    He's still alive.
[08:22] H
    Listen, after his death...
[08:24] Hatsuyuki
    He's alive.
[08:24] H
    I, Miguel, the dark god of destruction,
    took over the school!
[08:29] H
    Remember that, Mini-Gorio!
[08:31] K
    Mini-Gorio?
[08:32] K
    No, what matters right now is
    his relationship with Sumiso-san.
[08:36] K
    What's she doing with Gorio's
    brother? I want to know...
[08:37] Sumiso
    See? They're a lot of fun, right?
[08:40] K
    But I'm scared to ask. If she
    tells me they're dating, I'll die.
[08:40] H
    It seems you and I must do battle.
[08:43] H
    Gestöber and I have been fighting to
    protect Earth across countless lifetimes!
[08:45] ---
    I don't stand a chance against him.
[08:48] K
    But...
[08:51] Hatsuyuki
    Um, my brother and
    Kotoko-chan told me about you.
[08:55] K
    K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Kotoko-chan?!
[08:58] Hatsuyuki
    You're Miguel, the dark god of
    destruction, a.k.a. Sturmhut-sama,
[09:03] Hatsuyuki
    and the Hierophant of Ice, Gestöber-sama!
[09:06] Hatsuyuki
    You're so cool!
[09:08] Both
    Wha?
SIGN    W h a
[09:09] Hatsuyuki
    I'm... I'm a huge fan!
[09:12] Hatsuyuki
    Do you think I have a destiny
    from a past life, too?
[09:16] H
    D-Do you?
[09:17] K
    Huh? What's this guy's deal? Is he for real?
[09:20] H
    I do sense a different fate between you
    and me than I did with your brother.
[09:24] H
    Could it be...
[09:25] Hatsuyuki
    What? Really?!
[09:27] H
    I-If you want, I can try shaking your hand.
[09:33] Hatsuyuki
    Thank you!
[09:34] Hatsuyuki
    What an honor! I can't believe it!
[09:37] K
    I can't, either...
[09:38] H
    Hey, this is no cause for celebration!
[09:40] H
    War is a very serious thing!
[09:42] Hatsuyuki
    Of course! I'll follow you anywhere!
[09:44] K
    Forget about that! What about Sumiso-san?
[09:47] H
    Next time we meet, I'll remember
    your name from your old life!
[09:50] H
    Mini-Gorio, I'm sure you
    were my biggest supporter!
SIGN    Yank
SIGN    Yank
SIGN    Yank
[09:55] K
    Hey, don't take the hot guy's side!
[09:58] Hatsuyuki
    Sturmhut-sama!
[09:59] H
    W-Wait, Gestöber! Don't get the wrong idea!
[10:02] H
    I didn't choose him because he's hot!
[10:05] H
    It's what's inside that—
[10:06] K
    What's inside, my ass!
[10:08] K
    Don't give me that shit!
[10:10] K
    If you betray me,
    I'll literally have no one left!
[10:12] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun, calm down!
[10:14] U
    Seri-kun, since when have you considered
    Hanadori a core part of your identity?
[10:19] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, wasn't I
    your number one student?
[10:21] M
    You, beep-boop boy.
     Calm Kabu-dono down at once.
[10:26] Sumiso
    Actually, I've been friends with the
    Masaki brothers since we were little.
[10:31] Sumiso
    I'm sorry for telling him about you.
[10:34] Sumiso
    I was just so happy to have someone
    besides me who's rooting for you two.
[10:39] Sumiso
    He's not my b-boyfriend or anything.
[10:43] K
    Oh, thank God!
[10:45] U
    That's why I told you to ask.
[10:47] U
    But your obsession with Hanadori means
    what's inside you is totally worthless.
[10:53] K
    Shaddup!
[10:55] H
    Gestöber's in love with me.
[10:57] Hatsuyuki
    You two are so amazing!
[10:59] Hatsuyuki
    I can't wait for you to remember
    my name from my last life!
SIGN    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
[11:01] H
    I'm beginning to recall a distant memory!
[11:03] Hatsuyuki
    Really?!
[11:04] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, what about me?
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[11:08] K
    I felt like I'd lost to everything.
SIGN    Hanadori
[11:16] U
    We will now begin practicing
    for college entrance interviews.
[11:23] U
    Please come in.
[11:25] H
    Thank you.
[11:27] H
    It's an honor to be here today.
[11:37] U
    Please be seated.
[11:39] All
    Thank you.
[11:41] U
    Let's begin with introductions from everyone.
[11:44] H
    I'll start.
[11:47] H
    I am Sturmhut,
    the knight of light and darkness,
[11:51] ---
    within whom dwells the dark
    god of destruction, Miguel.
[11:53] H
    The denizens of this world
    call me Hanadori Kabuto.
[11:57] M
    I am Mogami Kimikage.
[11:59] M
    I've reunited with Koyukichi-dono,
    from whom I was separated in grade school.
[12:03] M
    I seek his punishment,
    but he always spares me with kindness.
[12:07] M
    I am a sinful oni.
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
[12:08] U
    I'm Tsukimiya Utsugi, the interviewer.
[12:11] Hibiki
    And I'm his assistant, Kimiya Hibiki.
[12:14] K
    Um...
[12:15] U
    What's the matter?
[12:16] U
    You need to introduce yourself, too.
[12:19] K
    I'm Koyuki Seri, from Mitoya High.
[12:24] U
    Is that all?
[12:25] K
    Yes.
[12:27] U
    You're rejected, shorty!
SIGN    R
    E
    J
    E
    C
    T
    E
    D
[12:30] K
    Wh-What the...
[12:32] K
    Did you just call me "shorty"?
[12:34] U
    Interviews are serious business!
[12:35] U
    Why do you think you're here?!
SIGN    Rejected
[12:38] K
    That's what I'd like to know! Why am I here?!
[12:39] K
    I'm quietly trying my best
    not to yell at anyone,
SIGN    Guidance Office
[12:42] K
    and suddenly I'm being interviewed!
[12:43] U
    You'll never get into college if you
    can't handle an impromptu interview!
[12:47] K
    Say what?
[12:49] U
    You have zero academic ability,
    so you need to practice your interview skills.
[12:53] K
    That's not true!
[12:54] K
    And what's with this suit, anyway?
[12:56] K
    Did he prepare this just for me?
[12:57] U
    Did you forget, Seri-kun?
[12:58] U
    I'm the treasurer of the student council,
    and thus I control the budget.
[13:02] K
    Hey, don't waste it on things like this.
[13:05] H
    What's wrong, Gestöber?
[13:06] H
    You should have more confidence
    and talk about what makes you special.
[13:09] H
    If you tell them how you're working toward
    world peace as the Hierophant of Ice,
[13:14] H
    they'll see the good in you,
    no matter how bad you look.
[13:17] K
    Who looks bad here?!
[13:18] K
    Also, I refuse to do that!
[13:19] K
    They'd kick me right out!
[13:21] M
    Nonsense. There's nothing
    but good in Koyukichi-dono.
[13:24] M
    There's no need to use so many words.
[13:27] K
    Yeah, the fewer the better
    from someone who talks like you.
[13:29] H
    You're just spoiling him!
SIGN    GRRR
SIGN    GRRR
SIGN    GRRR
[13:31] ---
    You're not thinking about
    what's really best for Gestöber!
[13:34] K
    And you're underestimating him, Kabu-dono!
[13:37] H
    The hell'd you say?
[13:38] K
    The hell'd you say?
[13:41] U
    Okay, okay. Calm down.
[13:42] U
    The interviewer just saw all of that.
[13:45] U
    The interview begins the
    moment you walk in the door.
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
SIGN    Poop
[13:49] K
    Hey, Reaper, what did you just write?
[13:52] U
    Okay, I have a question for you all.
[13:54] U
    Can you tell me why you chose our school?
[13:58] K
    That's actually a normal question.
[14:00] K
    Maybe this will actually be helpful...
[14:03] H
    It is my destiny to protect this world,
[14:06] H
    but its people have not
    yet realized it's in danger.
[14:10] H
    I seek an environment
    where I can spread the word,
[14:13] H
    and this university is ideal.
[14:15] M
    I still have much to learn.
[14:17] M
    I need someone to beat
    the stupidity out of me,
[14:20] M
    and I believe the professors at your
    school are just the people for the job.
[14:24] U
    I see. Thank you.
[14:26] U
    Lastly, let's hear from shorty.
[14:29] K
    You just called me "shorty" again. I heard that.
[14:31] U
    Well?
[14:32] K
    I've dreamed of being a teacher ever
    since I was in elementary school,
[14:37] K
    s-so I want to study at your school's
     education department.
[14:42] U
    I see.
[14:43] U
    So what made you want to be a teacher?
[14:46] K
    Huh? Um, well...
[14:48] K
    My cousin was a teacher,
    and I wanted to be like him.
[14:51] U
    And what about him did
    you find so engaging?
[14:55] ---
    U-Um...
[14:57] K
    Why do I keep getting the hard questions?
[14:59] K
    These two are way worse than me.
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
SIGN    God Poop Mask
[15:02] U
    I see.
[15:04] U
    So you don't have any kind of clear
    ideas about being a teacher.
[15:08] U
    And you think you can get into our
    education department like that?
SIGN    GRRR
[15:12] K
    Damn it. He's laughing at me.
[15:14] U
    Next, please tell us about any kind of
     special talents or hobbies you might have.
[15:19] K
    Special talents or hobbies?
[15:20] M
    I play homemade Japanese stringed instruments
    while repenting my failure as a human being.
[15:27] K
    You do that much repenting?
    Forgive yourself already.
[15:31] K
    What should I say?
[15:32] K
    I've got nothing, really.
[15:34] K
    I'm not in any clubs...
[15:38] H
    Gestöber, you know what to say!
[15:40] H
    You know, the Stealthy Ninja Blizzardwalk!
[15:43] K
    I haven't heard that one in a while!
[15:45] K
    I still have no idea what
    kind of skill it even is.
[15:47] K
    I know you're trying to help,
    in your own annoying way, but...
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
SIGN    God Poop Mask
SIGN    God Poop

[15:52] K
    Damn it.
[15:53] K
    I don't have anything good to say.
[15:56] K
    Teaching really is my dream, though.
[15:58] H
    I need to straighten up a bit.
[16:01] K
    Are these guys going to be
    like this the rest of their lives?
[16:05] K
    I'm actually a little worried.
[16:08] H
    Okay, lookin' good!
[16:09] K
    I'm jealous that they don't seem worried...
[16:11] U
    Do you have anything, Hanadori-kun?
[16:14] H
    Me?
[16:15] H
    Well...
[16:17] H
    I do have one thing to show you.
[16:20] H
    I can do a little Nanjing Lily.
[16:22] K
    Traditional performance art?!
[16:23] K
    Why do you have a talent like that?!
[16:25] H
    I learned it for shows when I was in my band.
[16:29] K
    No way...
[16:30] K
    What the hell kind of band was Dead Bull?
[16:33] H
    Looky here, looky here!
    Looky, looky, looky here!
[16:37] H
    Look, it's the Nanjing Lily!
[16:41] H
    Flip it over, flip it over,
[16:45] H
    and it turns into Gestöber!
[16:49] K
    They love it!
[16:51] ---
    I just...
SIGN    Mitoya High School
[16:52] Tokimune
    felt the wave energy
    of Miguel's Nanjing Lily!
[16:56] Cop
    Hey, you there...
[16:58] Tokimune
    Let me go!
[16:59] ---
    Do you know how many years it's been
    since I've seen Miguel's Nanjing Lily?
[17:00] Cop
    Right, right. Knock it off.
[17:03] Tokimune
    Let me see it... Miguel's Nanjing Lily...
[17:08] Cop
    You just like saying that, don't you?
[17:10] Tokimune
    Miguel!
[17:13] K
    I think I just heard something...
[17:15] U
    Is there anything else?
[17:17] H
    Well, I can also do a little
    bit of singing, sutra-copying,
[17:21] H
    and ballroom dancing.
[17:24] H
    My interests right now
    are aquariums and kabuki.
[17:27] K
    You're kidding me.
[17:28] K
    That sounds so aristocratic...
[17:30] H
    I'd love to try horseback riding,
    too, but horses scare me.
[17:33] K
    Are you an aristocrat?!
SIGN    God
[17:37] M
    How about tea ceremony
    and calligraphy, Kabu-dono?
[17:37] K
    That's way too many hobbies!
[17:38] K
    Is he really doing all that?
[17:40] H
    I'd love to try them.
[17:42] M
    Martial arts are great, too.
[17:42] K
    No, given how much trouble he
    has communicating with others,
[17:44] M
    I'd love to learn Japanese drums, myself.
[17:46] ---
    it won't be easy for him to...
[17:47] U
    All right, please share any ambitions you
    might have for your time at our school.
[17:51] K
    Ambitions? Um, um...
[17:54] U
    Don't show the interviewer your butt, shorty.
[17:59] K
    I want to use my experiences in high school
    to become a teacher that students can trust,
[18:04] K
    a-and live a peaceful campus life
    unperturbed by annoying classmates.
[18:10] K
    I feel terrible saying that.
[18:12] K
    What should I do?
[18:14] K
    I realized I don't have any real ambitions.
[18:17] K
    At some point, I just fixated on finding a
    better place than where I am right now.
[18:22] K
    Wait, but...
[18:24] K
    Maybe I'm lucky to realize my weakness.
[18:27] K
    Compared to this guy who's never grown
    out of being a dark god of destruction...
[18:31] H
    Certainly.
[18:32] H
    In this economy, a certification
    or a degree isn't enough to get by.
[18:38] H
    It really concerns me to see
     so many of my upperclassmen
[18:42] H
    fall so far into student loan debt that
    they have to live at home to repay it.
[18:47] ---
    They choose whatever job pays the
    most and give up on their dreams,
[18:51] H
    and in their despair, they tell themselves
    everything is fine and lose their inner child.
[18:57] H
    So I want to set clear goals for myself and
    strive toward them while I'm still in school.
[19:05] H
    Being a "good kid," doing what you're told
     and fitting in, may be what society wants.
[19:11] H
    But it doesn't make you the kind of
    person who can change society,
[19:15] H
    because you'll never be
    extraordinary that way.
[19:19] H
    Unfortunately, the world
    may not always be at peace.
[19:23] H
    So even if I never really do fit in,
    I hope young people share my concerns.
[19:30] H
    I want to be able to decide for myself
    who I should and shouldn't listen to.
[19:36] H
    And I want to share the way
    I feel with lots of people.
[19:40] H
    I know for a fact that when everyone
    remembers their mission in life,
[19:46] H
    they have the power to change the world.
[19:48] H
    And that the world is always with them.
[19:51] H
    And that someday, they won't be able
    to deny the vibrations of their soul.
[19:56] H
    Remember, sheeple!
[19:58] H
    You weren't always sheeple!
[20:00] H
    You aren't in chains at all!
[20:03] H
    That's what I to share with people
[20:05] H
    to wake their hearts from their slumber.
[20:10] K
    Why are you shining?!
[20:11] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[20:11] M
    Koyuki-dono!
[20:13] K
    Since when were you so woke?!
    Why are you thinking about all that?!
[20:15] H
    What's wrong? I-I'm sorry, Gestöber!
[20:16] K
    Do you enjoy making me worry?!
[20:18] K
    And halfway through, you totally
    stopped making any sense!
[20:21] H
    Strong light needs deep darkness
     as its counterpart.
[20:24] H
    Don't worry.
[20:25] ---
    Even if you flunk your entrance
    exams or end up unemployed,
[20:28] H
    or get corrupted and fall to
    the bottom of the social ladder,
[20:30] H
    I'll be with you!
[20:33] K
    Damn it all!
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
    
    
    
    
     God Poop Mask
    
    
    
    
     God Poop Mask
    
    
    
    
    
     God Poop Mask
[20:34] M
    Worry not, Koyukichi-dono!
[20:36] M
    If you're broke, you can always live with me.
SIGN    Hanadori Koyuki Mogami
    
    
    
    
     God Poop Mask
    
    
    
    
     God
    
    
    
    
    
     God

[20:39] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, if I stay by Gestöber-senpai,
[20:42] Hibiki
    can I shine, too?
[20:43] K
    What does that even mean, Grim Reaper?!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[20:47] U
    I hope your school life here
    pays off for you, Seri-kun.
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
[20:50] Teacher
    Go home already!
[20:53] K
    Wait, they were talking about
    people who could beat
[20:55] K
    the stupidity out of them, and who
    they could share their ideas with...
[20:59] K
    Don't tell me...
[21:01] K
    No, that's impossible.
[21:03] K
    And so my darkness grew deeper...
[21:07] Tokimune
    As fellow beings of darkness,
    let's be friends...
[21:11] Tokimune
    "Gestöber."
[21:12] K
    I'm not one of you.
[21:14] K
    Stop following me!
[21:15] K
    Hello, is this the police?
SIGN    What was your name that I heard when I was young?
[22:52] K
    Me? Koyuki Seri-kun.
SIGN    What was your name that I heard when I was young?
[22:56] H
    Hanadori Ka...
SIGN    Huh? What?
SIGN    What was your name that I heard when I was young?
[23:05] U
    You're talking to a little kid?
[23:07] U
    I called the cops!
SIGN    What was your name that I heard when I was young?
SIGN    Shikimi
[23:12] Tokimune
    You dare speak to me?
[23:15] Tokimune
    I'll crunch you like this cracker!
[23:20] Tokimune
    Yes. My name is...
[23:22] Tokimune
    Tokimune Shikimi!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
[23:25] K
    Congratulations on finishing the project!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
[23:27] K
    It was like watching your kid's recital!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
[23:29] H
    My kid? G-Gestöber, do you want to have my...
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
SIGN    Tsukimiya
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
[23:31] K
    Not another word!
SIGN    Mogami
    Line
SIGN    Kimiya
    Line
SIGN    Mogami
    Line
SIGN    Tsukimiya
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
[23:32] K
    The next episode will be the last one.
SIGN    Kimiya
    Line
SIGN    Mogami
    Line
SIGN    Tsukimiya
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
[23:34] H
    Yup.
[23:35] H
    So, how's it coming?
[23:36] K
    Can anybody here draw keyframes?!
SIGN    Hanadori
    Line
SIGN    Koyuki
    Line

Season 1

E12 - secret room

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] K
    The snow's been coming down all day.
[00:05] K
    It's a sea of white out there.
[00:08] Teacher
    Hanadori? Hey, Hanadori!
[00:11] Teacher
    Is he absent today?
[00:14] K
    I'm sure he's just waiting to make
    another dramatic entrance...
[00:19] H
    Sorry I'm so late.
[00:22] H
    What's with the weather?
[00:24] H
    This blizzard...
[00:25] H
    It'd better not be that
    Gestöber guy showing off.
SIGN    A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN    Delusion 12
[02:02] H
    I'm late because of this bliz—
    I mean, because of Gestöber.
[02:06] K
    What? What's happening?
[02:07] K
    Why's he blaming me?
[02:08] H
    What kind of name is Gestöber, anyway?
[02:12] H
    Just call yourself Koyuki.
[02:13] K
    You're the one who came up with it!
[02:16] M
    Kabu-dono, I dare say I agree!
[02:19] K
    You dare say?
[02:20] M
    Koyukichi-dono, no...
    Koyukichi-dummy is being a jerk.
[02:24] K
    Did you really just say that?
[02:25] U
    Seri-kun, Seri-kun...
[02:27] U
    You stray cat!
[02:29] U
    Go for a run with a fish in your mouth!
[02:31] K
    What kind of insult is that?
[02:32] Teacher
    Hey, now. Are you guys having a fight?
[02:34] Teacher
    All right, people! Get ready
    for first period, and don't be late.
[02:38] K
    What's with everyone?
[02:41] H
    Wimp.
[02:42] M
    Baby monkey.
[02:43] U
    Go eat a dried sardine.
[02:45] H
    Let's go.
[02:46] M
    He's so lame.
[02:50] K
    Huh? What's going on?
[02:52] K
    Did everyone's personality change?
[02:58] K
    It's a relief to not have them
    on my back all the time,
[03:01] K
    but this is also really annoying.
[03:04] K
    What's gotten into them today?
SIGN    H
    M
    P
    H
[03:07] H
    Sheesh.
[03:09] M
    This is exhausting.
[03:11] K
    That's them!
[03:13] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[03:14] K
    Hibiki-kun, too?
[03:14] H
    Oh, Helius!
[03:16] Hibiki
    How's the plan going?
[03:18] H
    It's going well.
[03:18] K
    Plan? What plan?
[03:20] H
    Gestöber has been completely
    fooled by our perfect acting.
[03:24] H
    What about you, Helius?
[03:27] Hibiki
    I just finished the baking in home ec class!
[03:30] H
    Good. We're counting on you.
[03:32] Hibiki
    Right!
[03:32] H
    How's work coming on the site, Mogami?
[03:34] M
    Still putting together the decorations.
[03:37] M
    My brush isn't as fast as I'd like it to be.
[03:39] H
    Will it be done by the time school's over?
[03:41] H
    I can help.
[03:42] M
    I'm doing this for Koyukichi-dono.
[03:44] M
    I'll do whatever it takes.
[03:46] U
    I'm sure Seri-kun will love it!
[03:48] Hibiki
    I hope he has a good time.
[03:50] H
    Of course!
[03:51] H
    We're throwing him a surprise birthday party!
[03:55] K
    Huh? For me?
[03:57] U
    What should we shout when he comes in?
[03:59] H
    Well, February 22nd is
     National Meow Meow Day, so...
[04:04] H
    Meow, meow, meow! Happy b-day, meow!
[04:08] H
    How about that?
[04:08] Hibiki
    How cute!
[04:10] K
    They're planning a party for me?
[04:12] K
    Should I not be hearing this?
[04:14] M
    When do we do the party popper?
[04:16] H
    Well, I got the mega-blast kind
    that takes two people to fire.
[04:18] All
    Here we go!
SIGN    B
SIGN    o
SIGN    o
SIGN    o
SIGN    m
[04:21] K
    If someone set that off on me
    without warning, I'd die of shock.
[04:24] K
    Where did you even get that?
[04:27] K
    Is this plan okay?
[04:28] K
    Is this birthday going to be my last?
[04:31] Hibiki
    Next up will be Mask-senpai's koto.
[04:33] M
    Yes, I'll play the koto I made myself.
[04:37] H
    And I'll sing "Happy Birthday."
[04:39] Hibiki
    And I'll come in with the cake!
[04:41] U
    Then we'll all hold up our cards
    while I hold up the sign!
SIGN    Gotcha!
SIGN    H
SIGN    A
SIGN    P
SIGN    P
SIGN    Y
SIGN    B-
SIGN    D
SIGN    A
SIGN    Y
[04:46] K
    You don't have enough hands for that!
[04:48] K
    There's only four of you, right?
[04:49] K
    How can you even hold up signs when
    your hands are full of other stuff?
[04:53] H
    I'm so excited!
[04:53] K
    This plan is seriously flawed!
[04:55] Hibki
    He'll be so surprised!
[04:55] K
    Somebody notice! Like Tsukimiya-kun!
[04:57] K
    He's cracking up.
[04:58] K
    He's noticed, but he's enjoying it!
[05:01] H
    And that's where the meanie act
    we've been doing all day comes in.
[05:05] U
    Yeah.
[05:06] U
    I'm sure Seri-kun will burst out laughing.
SIGN    Bwa
SIGN    ha
SIGN    ha
SIGN    ha
SIGN    ha
[05:08] K
    Bwahahaha!
[05:10] K
    So it was all an act, huh?
[05:12] K
    You really got me!
[05:13] K
    Fantastic!
[05:14] H
    I can't wait to see him laughing!
[05:17] K
    Hey, I'm the birthday boy!
    Don't make my life harder!
[05:19] K
    I'm not the laughing type!
[05:21] M
    But still, to harden my heart and be cruel
    to Koyukichi-dono for the sake of a surprise...
[05:28] H
    What? Are you chickening out?
[05:30] M
    I feel so bad...
[05:32] ---
    I feel so bad that I'm going to pee myself!
[05:35] Hibiki
    Mask-senpai, are you okay?
[05:37] K
    You don't have to feel bad. Just go.
[05:39] U
    The problem now is how we get
    Seri-kun to the party after school.
[05:44] U
    He'll be suspicious if we can't
    come up with a good ruse, right?
[05:48] Hibiki
    Aw, I didn't think of that!
[05:50] K
    That's step one!
[05:51] H
    I know.
[05:52] ---
    Why don't we leave a trail of
    canned tuna leading to the party?
[05:53] K
    Ooh, canned tuna! And here's more!
[05:57] H
    Gestöber has to like fish, right?
[06:00] K
    Screw you!
[06:01] K
    You're totally making fun of me, aren't you?
    I've been noticing this trend.
[06:05] H
    And...
[06:07] H
    If I call Gestöber in my heart,
    I know he'll hear me.
[06:11] H
    He always does.
[06:17] H
    When I called for Gestöber
    in my heart after the festival,
[06:22] H
    he came to me!
[06:23] K
    I didn't know that,
    but now I wish I hadn't gone.
[06:26] U
    Okay, let's bet on you calling
    him with your heart again.
[06:30] All
    Yeah!
[06:30] K
    Don't! That's a stupid plan!
[06:31] K
    Come up with a real one if you're serious!
[06:33] K
    Don't blame me when I don't come!
[06:35] K
    If I do, Hanadori-kun will
    let it go to his head again!
[06:38] U
    Let's make this a success!
[06:40] H
    I can't wait!
[06:41] M
    It's so exciting!
[06:43] Hibiki
    Don't forget your presents!
[06:45] H
    My present is amazing!
[06:45] K
    But they're so excited about it...
[06:47] Hibiki
    So's mine!
[06:47] K
    Do I have to go?
[06:48] M
    So's mine, too!
[06:49] K
    What do I do?!
[06:53] Teacher
    The snow's gonna get worse,
    so no staying after school today.
[06:58] Teacher
    Go straight home.
[06:59] All
    Okay!
SIGN    PSST
SIGN    PSST
SIGN    PSST
[07:10] M
    Wh-What do we do, Kabu-dono?
    Koyukichi-dono is leaving!
SIGN    PSST
[07:13] H
    Shh! We can't let him find out!
SIGN    PSST
[07:15] H
    Believe in Gestöber and proceed as planned!
SIGN    PSST
[07:17] K
    What's going on here?
[07:19] K
    If I don't come, are they going
    to wait in the snow forever?
[07:22] K
    Am I being tested?
[07:24] K
    On my birthday?
[07:27] K
    Oh, right!
[07:29] K
    I forgot something!
[07:31] K
    I think it's in the sewing room.
[07:34] K
    I guess I'll go get it after I deliver
    the class log to the staff office.
SIGN    Class Log
[07:38] M
    I-It's a miracle, Kabu-dono!
[07:40] H
    I told you that if I called him
    in my heart, he'd hear it!
[07:43] K
    I heard it directly!
[07:45] M
    Hurry! Hurry!
[07:51] K
    Well, whatever.
[07:52] K
    I can play along, I guess.
[07:54] K
    I've never had a surprise party.
[07:57] K
    I suppose I can let them throw one for me.
SIGN    Sewing Room
[08:01] K
    But... when do I go in?
[08:05] K
    Should I make loud footsteps?
[08:08] K
    I'm scared of that party popper...
[08:10] K
    Why do I have to go through all this?!
[08:15] M
    K-Koyukichi-dono!
SIGN    W
    
    A
    
     A
    
     A
    
     H
SIGN    W
    
    
    A
    
    
    A
    
    A
    
    H
[08:17] M
    Koyukichi-dummy!
[08:18] M
    Wh-Wh-What? You wanna come in here, huh?
[08:21] M
    Wh-Wh-Who said you could?
[08:24] K
    C-Calm down, Mogami-kun!
[08:25] K
    You'll pee yourself! You'll pee yourself!
[08:26] K
    You're making this even harder on me!
[08:28] K
    I-I'm going to the bathroom...
SIGN    S M A S H
SIGN    S M A S H
[08:47] K
    H-Hibiki-kun?
[08:49] Hibiki
    W-W-We were gonna have a pie-throwing contest!
[08:52] M
    Yes, that's right...
[08:55] Hibiki
    I'm sorry!
[08:57] Hibiki
    Mask-senpai will eat this whole pie!
[09:00] H
    What's wrong, Helius?
[09:02] Hibiki
    I'm sorry, Miguel-senpai!
[09:04] Hibiki
    Gestöber-senpai is...
[09:10] H
    Gestöber?!
[09:11] K
    U-Uh, I...
[09:13] H
    Let's stick to what's left of the plan!
[09:17] H
    Mogami, play your koto!
[09:19] M
    I can't see.
[09:20] Hibiki
    It's all my fault!
[09:22] H
    Don't cry, Helius! This is a party!
[09:24] M
    No, Kabu-dono! You can't tell him it's a party.
[09:26] H
    Oh, no! Darn it!
[09:27] M
    My eyes! My eyes!
[09:28] H
    Get a hold of yourselves, guys!
[09:29] K
    What am I supposed to do?
[09:31] H
    Let's just do it!
[09:32] H
    Here we go!
[09:33] ---
    Meow, meow, meow! Happy b-day!
[09:41] H
    Helius, it's okay. Come on.
    I'll give you some candy later.
[09:46] M
    What about the party popper?
[09:47] H
    Just play your koto!
SIGN    Pluck
SIGN    Pluck
SIGN    Pluck
SIGN    Pluck
SIGN    Sob
SIGN    Sob
SIGN    Sob
SIGN    Sob
SIGN    Haha
SIGN    Haha
[10:00] K
    Tsukimiya!
[10:01] U
    Now the signs!
[10:02] U
    Hold them up!
[10:03] M
    Where are they?
[10:04] U
    Ready, and...
[10:05] All
    Happy birthday, Gestöber-senpai!
[10:05] All
    Happy birthday, Gestöber!
[10:05] All
    Happy birthday, Seri-kun!
[10:05] All
    Happy birthday, Koyukichi-dono!
SIGN    Birth
SIGN    Da
SIGN    Hap
SIGN    Y
[10:08] K
    I knew you didn't have enough hands...
[10:10] K
    What does "Birthdahapy" mean?
[10:29] H
    It's ruined.
[10:31] H
    All of it.
[10:33] H
    Nothing went right.
[10:37] H
    We worked so hard and
    made all these plans, but...
[10:43] H
    There's nothing fun about this.
[10:48] H
    Why do I have to hurt like this?
[10:51] H
    Why do I have to feel this way?
[10:55] H
    I just wanted to have a fun party!
[10:58] H
    So why did my day turn out like this?!
[11:01] K
    Because your plan was shit!
[11:04] K
    I'm sorry for having my
    birthday on a day like today!
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
SIGN    RIP Koyuki
[11:10] K
    And so we all agreed never
    to speak of this day again,
[11:15] K
    and my soul felt as frozen
    as the blizzard outside.
[11:18] U
    I had a great time!
[11:22] H
    Welcome home, Gestöber.
[11:24] H
    Do you want dinner first? Or a bath?
[11:26] H
    Or...
[11:28] H
    Miguel?
[11:29] H
    Just kidding!
SIGN    Several Days Earlier
[11:35] (Flashback) U
    The bathroom and toilet
    should really be separate.
[11:38] (Flashback) H
    What are you talking about?
[11:40] (Flashback) U
    A place where the toilet's in one
    room and the bath's in another.
[11:43] (Flashback) U
    For a student living on their own,
    having a dedicated bathroom is nice,
[11:47] (Flashback) U
    but when you have roommates,
    you want some privacy, right?
[11:50] K
    Roommates... Am I going to have roommates?
[11:50] (Flashback) H
    I want a place where
    Cerberus can live with me!
[11:53] (Flashback) U
    Want to rent a whole house together?
[11:54] K
    Just out of the blue?
[11:55] (Flashback) H
    Oh, great idea!
[11:57] (Flashback) H
    The Migeowa House!
[11:58] K
    Where'd the "owa" come from?!
[12:01] U
    Remember when we talked about that?
[12:03] U
    So now we're here to look at a model house!
SIGN    Model
SIGN    Model
[12:08] K
    Wait, wait, wait! Why am I here?
[12:10] K
    What are you even talking about?
[12:12] K
    Why are we looking at a house right now?
[12:14] U
    Aw, don't be silly.
[12:15] U
    If by some miracle you get into college,
    you'll be living alone, right?
[12:19] U
    'Cause of the distance.
[12:20] K
    By some miracle?!
[12:21] K
    If I'm living alone,
    this has nothing to do with me!
[12:25] K
    I don't know about you guys, though.
[12:27] U
    It's a three-story, four-bedroom
    model home all set for viewing.
[12:33] K
    Wait...
[12:33] U
    I know the landlord, and he's
    letting us take a tour.
[12:36] K
    Hey, why am I here?
[12:39] K
    I've got a bad feeling ab—
[12:42] U
    Don't be arrogant, Seri-kun!
[12:44] U
    You didn't even try to
    walk here on your own.
[12:47] U
    Don't think you can live on your own!
[12:49] K
    I don't even know what you're talking about...
[12:51] K
    And don't lock the door like that.
[12:53] K
    If I'd wanted to come, I would have walked!
[12:55] K
    Operative word being "if"!
[12:56] H
    It's okay, Gestöber.
[12:59] H
    We're not moving in today or anything.
[13:01] H
    We're just taking a tour.
[13:02] H
    A tour!
[13:04] K
    I know that.
[13:05] K
    You're really insulting me.
[13:07] K
    What I mean is...
[13:08] K
    No!
[13:09] H
    That's right!
[13:09] H
    We've come here to get an idea of the kind
    of place we'll all be sharing in college!
[13:15] H
    Think of it as the secret base of
    the dark god of destruction group!
[13:20] K
    I knew it!
[13:21] K
    I had no idea what they were talking about,
[13:23] K
    but now I see where this is going!
[13:26] H
    We did that mock interview,
[13:28] H
    so now we're doing mock college life!
[13:30] K
    No, no... No way.
[13:31] H
    Here's the layout.
[13:32] K
    No way, no how!
[13:33] K
    Maybe, just maybe,
[13:33] U
    Let's start with the first floor!
[13:35] ---
    I'd be willing to go to an open campus
    or even look into a student dorm.
[13:38] K
    But sharing a house?
[13:40] U
    The first floor is a single room.
[13:41] U
    Maybe it's the guest room?
[13:42] H
    So fancy!
[13:43] H
    I know! This can be Cerberus's room!
[13:47] Hibiki
    Wow, he'll be living in luxury!
[13:49] M
    Isn't that nice, Berus-dono?
[13:51] K
    I had an inkling this was coming,
    but do these guys...
[13:54] K
    Do they think they're not only going to
    college with me, but living with me, too?
[14:01] K
    We haven't even taken entrance exams!
    It's too early for all this!
[14:03] K
    Be serious!
[14:05] K
    Why won't the door open?
[14:06] K
    Hey, someone open up!
[14:08] K
    I wanted to be rid of them and enjoy
    a new life after graduation...
[14:12] M
    Koyukichi-dono, Koyukichi-dono!
[14:14] M
    According to this, the bathroom
    is on the second floor.
[14:17] M
    I'd like to have a waterfall
    come down from the window.
[14:19] M
    Could you help foot the water bill?
[14:23] K
    No, and not just because of the water bill.
[14:25] H
    There's no room for Mogami.
SIGN    H
    M
    P
    H
[14:27] H
    The four rooms are for Gestöber,
    me, Tsukimiya, and Cerberus!
[14:32] K
    That's awful.
[14:33] K
    I'm not living here, so he can have mine.
[14:34] U
    Want to live in Cerberus's old dog house?
SIGN    Cerberus
[14:37] K
    That's really mean.
[14:38] K
    Give him Cerberus's room.
[14:40] Mogami
    If you insist, Koyukichi-dono...
[14:42] K
    I don't.
[14:43] Mogami
    If you insist...
[14:45] K
    Go on. Get in there.
[14:47] K
    Sit, Fido.
[14:49] K
    Not saying that.
[14:50] K
    Don't make that noise!
[14:51] M
    Berus-dono, can I live in your dog house?
[14:55] H
    Cerberus is so kind.
[14:57] K
    Oh, jeez...
[14:58] Hibiki
    Isn't that nice, Mogami-senpai?
[14:59] K
    If I want to get away from these guys,
    I'll have to go to a school really far away.
[15:03] K
    But then...
[15:04] Sumiso
    Koyuki-kun!
[15:05] K
    Where is Sumiso-san going after graduation?
[15:08] U
    Hanadori, what will you do
    if Seri-kun brings a girl home?
[15:12] K
    Don't say weird things. He'll get all sulky.
[15:16] H
    Gestöber? Get a girlfriend?!
[15:18] H
    No way!
[15:20] K
    I'll kill you!
[15:21] K
    You're one to talk!
SIGN    I can't believe how happy I am...
SIGN    Seri & —— @ forever
[15:23] U
    If Seri-kun ever did get a girlfriend,
    he's the kind of guy
[15:26] U
    who'd get super excited about it
     and make a joint social media account.
[15:30] U
    Then, when they break up, he'll black out
     his icon and post, "We broke up"!
SIGN    We broke up
[15:36] U
    I'll mash the like button when that happens!
[15:38] K
    Stop it! I'm about to get pissed!
[15:39] H
    Forget that. Let's go to the second floor.
[15:42] H
    That's where the common spaces are,
    so we'll be spending most of our time there.
[15:45] Hibiki
    Can I come over to hang out, too?
[15:47] H
    Of course!
[15:48] H
    Gestöber, I'll cook for you.
[15:51] H
    Miguel's special miso soup is nice and warm!
[15:55] K
    The dark god of destruction is so domestic.
[15:57] K
    Did he forget his actual job?
[16:01] H
    A kitchen with a breakfast counter!
[16:04] H
    Here you guys go.
[16:06] H
    It's just leftovers, but enjoy!
[16:08] ---
    Yay!
[16:09] All
    Let's eat!
[16:12] H
    You're still growing students, after all.
[16:15] H
    I want to feed you lots.
[16:17] K
    What, you're not a student, too?
[16:19] K
    Why are you acting like a mom?
[16:21] H
    When Daddy Gestöber comes home,
     let's open this special canned crab for him.
[16:24] Hibiki
    I can't wait for Daddy to come home!
[16:24] K
    I'm the dad? Canned crab?
[16:27] U
    There he is! It's Daddy Gestöber! Welcome home!
[16:30] Hibiki
    Daddy Gestöber!
[16:30] K
    We're just playing house at this point...
[16:31] M
    Father!
[16:34] H
    Look, Daddy! Canned crab!
[16:36] Hibiki
    I want some, too!
[16:37] U
    Me, too!
[16:38] All
    Crab! Crab! Crab!
[16:38] K
    Why are you all so excited, damn it?!
SIGN    Balcony
SIGN    4.5-mat room
SIGN    6-mat room
SIGN    Loft
SIGN    5-mat room
SIGN    Balcony
[16:42] H
    Next is the third floor,
[16:43] H
    where we have our private rooms!
[16:45] H
    There's a 6-mat room,
    a 5-mat room, and a 4.5-mat room.
[16:50] H
    But, well...
[16:52] H
    I think it's only fair to decide who gets
     the bigger rooms based on height.
[16:56] K
    So I get the 4.5-mat room, huh?
[16:58] K
    I knew. That's the kind of guy you are.
[17:02] H
    Gestöber, look! A loft bed!
[17:04] H
    You could fit in the space under it!
[17:07] K
    Why? I'd rather have my own room.
[17:09] K
    Let Mogami-kun stay there.
[17:11] H
    If I install shelving here,
    I can safely store Gestöber!
[17:15] K
    Why do I need to be stored like some... thing?!
[17:17] U
    Seri-kun, that was a weak comeback!
[17:20] Hibiki
    I brought some snacks!
[17:22] Mogami
    Koyukichi-dono, you can sit on me.
SIGN    G L O O M
[17:28] Mogami
    Koyukichi-dono, sink all the way
    into the tub and warm up.
[17:32] Mogami
    I'll wash your back later.
[17:36] K
    He stuffed me into the tub.
[17:37] K
    If there was water in here,
    wouldn't I be dead?
[17:40] Mogami
    I'll just bathe in your bathwater
    once you're done.
[17:43] U
    Okay, Seri-kun, open up!
[17:47] U
    You need to brush your teeth before bed!
[17:50] K
    S-Stop! I can do it myself!
[17:53] K
    I know you're going to ram it down my throat!
[17:55] U
    Time to get clean!
[17:59] K
    I'm so tired...
[18:00] K
    I can't remember the last time I yelled—
    talked so much in my own head.
[18:04] H
    Gestöber stole my bed...
[18:07] H
    My bed... Wah...
[18:07] K
    There's no way I can live with these people.
[18:11] H
    Gestöber...
[18:12] K
    I know! I'll go to school overseas!
[18:16] U
    Even though you can't
    speak a word of English?
[18:20] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai, how about we break out
    the futons and have a pajama party?
[18:24] K
    I won't let them play on
    my sympathies anymore.
[18:27] Mogami
    You can't bring up pajama parties
     around Koyukichi-dono.
[18:29] Mogami
    Because...
[18:30] K
    I won't yell at them,
    even in my own head.
[18:32] H
    Okay, let's all take a nap!
[18:35] K
    Why is your eye mask lopsided?!
[18:37] U
    Seri-kun, what did you
    just say you wouldn't do?
[18:39] H
    I'll sleep on one side of Gestöber,
    and Helius can sleep on the other.
[18:43] Hibiki
    I'd rather sleep next to you, Miguel-senpai.
[18:46] Mogami
    Then I'll be Koyukichi-dono's futon myself!
[18:48] K
    No!
[18:49] K
    If I live in this house, I'll...
[18:56] K
    I'll kill them all!
[18:57] K
    I-I finally did it...
[19:00] K
    No! My life is ruined!
[19:00] H
    Okay, let's all have a lot
    of fun living together!
[19:03] ---
    Yeah!
[19:06] H
    Of course, it'd be wonderful if days
    like this could continue forever.
[19:26] U
    Well, it's just the order of things.
[19:28] U
    Nothing lasts forever.
[19:31] U
    Everything always changes.
[19:33] M
    Not even Koyukichi-dono and I
     could remain the same forever.
[19:37] Hibiki
    B-But I want to be with
    Miguel-senpai forever...
[19:40] M
    Helius, you fool! We all promised not to cry!
[19:44] Hibiki
    B-But you're crying too, Miguel-senpai...
[19:59] H
    I thought I could always be with
    Gestöber and the rest of you.
[20:04] H
    I wanted to try and live together.
[20:07] H
    So I dragged you all here...
[20:09] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai...
[20:11] K
    Wh-What is this?
[20:13] H
    Gestöber, you may not remember
     everything from our past life,
[20:19] H
    but our time together will
    one day come to an end.
[20:22] H
    For now, I want you to focus on what we have
[20:24] H
    so that, when it's over, you'll have no regrets.
[20:26] H
    But I've always enjoyed my time with you.
[20:32] H
    Thank you, Gestöber.
[20:34] K
    Wh-What? Are you going
    somewhere, Hanadori-kun?
[20:39] K
    What? Did something happen?
[20:42] K
    Did he... Did he drag us
    all here to say goodbye?
[20:50] H
    Nope, I'm not going anywhere!
[20:53] H
    Surprised?
[20:54] H
    Don't worry, Gestöber!
[20:56] H
    I'll always be by your side!
[20:59] Hibiki
    Can I be with you too, Miguel-senpai?
[21:01] H
    Of course!
[21:02] M
    I'll be here too, Koyukichi-dono!
[21:04] U
    Isn't that great, Hanadori?
[21:06] H
    I was a little worried that you
    might not actually care about me,
[21:11] H
    because you're always so gloomy and mean.
[21:14] H
    I thought that maybe if you
    believed it would end someday,
[21:17] ---
    you'd start to care about
    the time you had with me.
[21:20] H
    So I played a little trick on you!
[21:23] K
    I'll end it right now!
[21:26] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[21:27] U
    Oh, dear...
[21:28] K
    Damn it all.
[21:29] K
    I thought this was the last episode.
[21:31] U
    But it's true that nothing
    stays the same forever.
[21:35] U
    You can't be "friends forever" for eternity.
[21:35] Hibiki
    Miguel-senpai!
[21:37] Mogami
    Oh, you survived.
[21:39] K
    Of course!
[21:41] K
    One day, I'll even win my battle
    to stop yelling at him!
[21:44] U
    What?
[21:45] U
    You still thought you were in that fight?!
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    RIP
    Koyuki
SIGN    Model
SIGN    Model
[21:50] K
    Shut up!
SIGN    Post-Graduation Plans
    1. OO College
    2. XX University
    3. ZZ School
[23:23] K
    After that, I quietly
    changed my target schools.
[23:26] K
    But...
SIGN    Tsukimiya-kun
SIGN    I heard you changed your target school?
[23:27] K
    They found out instantly.
[23:27] K
    What?!
SIGN    Hilarious!
[23:29] K
    There's nowhere to run in the whole world...
[23:33] K
    No, the whole universe.
[23:34] K
    They'll even follow me to heaven, I bet.